My question for all of you is: how do you motivate yourselves to keep going through challenging situations? What tips or tricks do you use or what tried and true techniques have worked for you in the past? I appreciate any and all suggestions!

Cheers!

I promise myself that I won't make any life-or-death decisions until tomorrow. If things aren't better tomorrow, I make the same promise again. Repeat as many times as necessary.

Never, never, never give up!

Smart cookies don't crumble.

Carol is right. Make up your mind to never give up. And for myself, it is the power of love that comforts, strengthens, guides, and inspires me at difficult times, and in all times.

I have a slightly different take on this and it's going to sound conceited but hear me out.

I'd argue love "of yourself" is all that matters. I don't mean in a selfish way or anything like that. But if you rely on love/relationships with others (at least from my experience) this only leads to disappointment a lot of times. If that's your foundation it's bound to crumble, but if your foundation is loving yourself, you'll ALWAYS have that.

What does it mean to love yourself? The way I think about it, it's enjoying your own company. Being ok with being alone and enjoying life alone. Don't confuse this with being a recluse or not having relationships, that's not what I mean. What I mean is be able to be independent. Have passions and hobbies in life that motivate you and give you things to look forward to. Taking care of yourself is also HUGE. Work out, eat healthy, read, stimulate your mind...

That's how I endure crappy times.

or receiving it.

Like you, I enjoy my own company, and can be alone for days at a time, and not feel lonely.

I thought about Popeye
But he wasn't the sailor
He was Popeye the savior
Man, nailed to the mast by
Brutus with long knives on
A rickety clapboard ship
Tossed over the world's
Edge in a storm

Popeye's coming back, I thought
Just that, Popeye's coming back

Wonderful, Don!

I do this positive thinking in a negative way thing. I think of really bad things that could have happened to me but never have and I say to myself, "Well, at least I've never been_______(whatever it is)." Like, at least I've never been in a major car accident where I wound up in the hospital with broken limbs and a bandaged face. At least I've never been beaten or had violence committed against me. At least I've don't live in war-torn country or where women are regularly raped and then killed for it. The list is endless.

donbagley Wrote:
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> Popeye's coming back, I thought
> Just that, Popeye's coming back


Yay!!!...and Godspeed...

Coming back can be the most important thing in the whole world...the whole ENTIRE world...for EVERYONE!!!

I know we're not supposed to evangelize, but I literally found my hope in atheism. I don't think its the theological framework that matters as much as this realization: you are free. Not just free to make decisions that will get you screwed later: you are absolutely free. The quality of your life and your future is in your hands, to be accomplished however you deem it pragmatic to pursue. You are free to define good and evil for yourself, or at least, to go along with own intuition rather than waiting on a church to define reality for you. You are free! And you have the right to feel secure and pursue your happiness however you need to.

The knowledge that if things get just a little worse and I can't handle the pain, I can end it.

I'm not in that space any more, but for years, the feel of cold steel on my skin gave me the assurance that I could end my life if the pain worsened. This knowledge gave me the fortitude to hang on for just one more day.

The pain I refer to was almost exclusively caused by tscc, so I haven't been in that space since I left the church.

My apologies. I responded to the topic and should have read the original post more closely. I thought the topic was supposed to be reflective, but instead, it is a request for help.

I would delete my post, but can't since I didn't sign in. At any rate, I've had lots of great experiences recently, so I'm glad I didn't give in to the urge to end my life. That's what keeps me going now - knowing things will get better and that I don't want to miss out on other wonderful experiences I will surely have in my life.

I write non fiction and stand up comedy. I am now in the process of writing a one-person show of mixed memoir, reading and standup that I hope to pitch to destination exercise/wellness spas to get to go to them at no charge.

I went through a really hard time recently and a few things stood out for me as being helpful. First I studied The philosophy of Schopenhauer. His essays and aphorisms on life struck me as very wise. Then I found out he had learned most of his ideas from eastern philosophies. That led me to study eastern writings. For some reason learning more about meditation and the four Noble truths, etc., from a secular source like Jack kornfield was tremendously comforting to me. Meditation is phenomenal for me. I don't believe any of the Rama shiva stuff so I found a secular teacher and it is great. Secondly, I pushed myself to begin a workout program. Hitting the gym or my bicycle or running were absolute Lifesavers. I couldn't help but feel better after a workout and I've stayed with it. It may feel almost impossible at times to begin exercising but it really helps. Finally, I took up writing and joined a writers group in the area. Writing on your own is fine but being in a group is much better in my opinion.

Meditation
Exercise
Finding something I love that was different and trying to get better at it.

I compartmentalize a lot. If work is a trial then I let it go when I walk out the door and just enjoy my evening. If the week is awful, I look forward to the weekend. If everything is awful, I look forward to a good night's sleep when I can forget about my troubles and rest. So try looking for the good things and thoroughly enjoying them when they come.

Other than that, it's just realizing that "this too will pass" and putting one foot in front of the other each day. Having a loving pet helps as well. During one especially stressful period, I had our elderly family cat sleep on my stomach or right beside me every night. We would wake up every morning and lie there peacefully, listening to the birds singing.

I always say, when everything is unravelling, focus on the basics -- good food, adequate rest, and exercise. Take care of yourself.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/15/2014 09:12AM by summer.

I use basics too: Sunlight, fresh air, body movement, good food, rest, music and laughter.

freetochoose Wrote:
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> I use basics too: Sunlight, fresh air, body
> movement, good food, rest, music and laughter.


Good stuff

I was going to say anger and the promise of revenge - but that's not healthy.

But there is a lot of promise in the future. I think back to hard times in the past, and things always have a way of working themselves out. And I learn more about myself and other people. Sometimes, in those times, I ask for help from trusted friends and develop closer friendships.

Also - it sounds odd, but gratitude helps. Some days I'm grateful for a car that starts. Or grateful for rfm and a pc or phone that can connect. I'm grateful for my health - or even shoes. (Can you imagine a life without shoes in the midwest in this weather??) when I get outside of my head and talk to people who have it worse than me, that also helps.

ava Wrote:
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> I think back to hard times in the past, and things always have a way of working themselves out.

When I was a young woman, an older woman friend expressed it as, "Everything comes out in the wash." She was right about that.

> Also - it sounds odd, but gratitude helps.

I feel the same way. I try to remember how far I've come. I have a warm, comfortable home, nice furniture, a reliable car, an abundant wardrobe, etc. I've come a long way from the young woman who always had to live with roommates, who didn't have a ride, and who couldn't afford warm winter boots.

...like this guy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlBiLNN1NhQ

Realizing that no matter what is happening to me the sun is still going to come up in the morning.
Also my animals. The dogs and cat love me no matter what and they always have hugs ans kisses for me. The horses need to be cared for no matter what, and so I have to keep going for them. Besides getting on a horse and just going for as long as I need to is the best way ever to get my mind and/or my heart to calm.

What gets me through the darkness now is my little cat, and to be honest I don't think I would be here if it wasn't for her. I have bi-polar and have looked into the abyss a few times and have been hospitalised when it got too much on a few occasions.

Having my ball of fur around has been the best thing to keep me on an even keel, its amazing. If I start feeling down she picks up on it and does silly things and keeps an eye on me. Works like a charm. It also helps with the isolation that comes with living by myself, this may sound daft but we have conversations. And she always comes to say hello when I get back if I have been out. In the year she's lived with me I have never felt better, if there is any crap going on she gets me through it.

Love.

Light of the world, shine on me
Love is the answer
Shine on us all, set us free
Love is the answer

Todd Rundgren

I am grateful that my immediate family is not threatened by my honesty about God. How I see things spiritually is not a threat to them or our lives together. I am thankful for that. I never thought about it before, but when I knew TSCC was not what it claimed to be my immediate family didn't shun me.

They agree with me on many points. On others, the simply don't care enough to rock their spiritual boat. Collectively we love each other. Period.

If anyone is trapped and have been told by their spouse, their children, the extended family and/or close friends that their relationship depends on them staying in the church I am truly sorry.

That is conditional love, and that's not what God is all about. At some point you have to surround yourself with people who love you for who you are. Life becomes so beautiful when you are authentic and improving as a person in ways you AND God feel are important.

Arrogant tenacity

Love... and a dose of arrogant tenacity. Okay that's a better recipe for success!

My dear wife, my family, some great friends, not having to rely on praying to some mythical dude in the sky...and beer!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/15/2014 12:03PM by Lethbridge Reprobate.

Courage is not living without fear.
Courage is being scared to death and doing the right thing anyway.
- Chae Richardson

The courage to face life's challenges come from the desire to be a better person, to bring out the best in others and strive for the best life possible.

Finding the allusive state of joy doesn't come from one's measure of monetary success or poverty in comes from within.

Walk a path with others that will help motivate you through the tough times, remove yourself from those who would embrace the misery they create.

OK

My great aunt made it to 100 years and 2 months.

She lived 99 years fully functioning, living in her own home.

When you're down or life's being hard, Her advice to family and friends around her:

Stand up straight, stand tall!

Great advice by a very special lady

The one thing.

I'll let Curly explain it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2k1uOqRb0HU

It is easier to get thru tough times when I have spent the better times preparing. Life is easier when I have savings, a support system, active interests, etc to fall back on.

Life is tough... and then you die.

When I start really feeling sorry for myself life sure has a way of putting things in perspective by putting people in my path whose circumstances remind me that things could be worse....much worse.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/15/2014 01:04PM by sassenach.

Pick something simple that you can do to care for yourself each morning that can be easily started today. It could be something as simple as flossing your teeth each morning if not already doing that. When times are hard it is easy to blame ourselves at some level for them. Caring for yourself in some physical way will help you demonstrate to yourself that are worthy of being cared for and likewise help you feel a little better then how ever you feel at the present. Feeling a little better will give you greater capacity to deal with the hard stuff you are having to cope with. All the above suggestions on spot on and you should head towards whicher of them works for you without delay. But for today, just think of something simple you can do for yourself. If you're able to do more, its all gravey (actually, I like the idea of all whip cream better than gravey :).

What works for me is staying focused on the situation at hand, and looking for a solution then sticking with it knowing that all of life is a process.
No two situations are exactly the same. Every experience we have had provides us with stepping stones to get to the next one.
Remember that tough times are not going to last.Everything in life is in flux, continually changing.
It's also about giving myself permission to change my mind, redirect my efforts, and refrain from dwelling on the problem, but instead, directing my energy toward the solution.

living day by day, moment by moment, medical qigong, meditation in movement ....
listening to soothing and healing sounds ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EovPxpZbBSo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_Q0SngRwDw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE8-mL_HR8A

giving love ...

i forgot a very important item: giving love also to yourself, say thank you to yourself and embrace yourself :-) ...