For reference, this was my original post, Church Ladies Stalk my Wife.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1595273,1596155#msg-1596155

Well, this time it was the missionaries.

My wife was not at home, and I had just gotten out of the shower. I hear knocking at the door... of the "shave and a haircut" variety. I ignored it but it was insistent.

So, I walked to the door with a towel wrapped around my waist, peeked through the peephole, and saw them. What the hell, I think, let's do this.

So I opened the door, looked them square in the eye, and before they could say a word, I launched. "I think I've told you people before not to come to my property unless you've made specific arrangements with my wife. What do you not understand?"

I think it might have made the boys slightly uncomfortable, being faced with a burly confrontational man wearing only a towel. I hope so; that was my intent.

They scampered off the porch, saying "sorry," and off they went. They were in a minivan, and I can only assume someone from the church was driving them around. I couldn't see inside, but I stepped onto the porch and glared at them, just so the driver could see me in my towel and know how inconvenient the drop-in was.

Maybe, just maybe, the message will get out this time.

I told my wife later they had come to visit, and told her I reminded them not to come without calling for an appointment. I left out the part of me being practically naked standing on the porch.

PS. It's Sunday morning, and she's at home. This is going towards three months that she hasn't been. Keeping my fingers crossed and my mouth shut.

I love that story! Maybe that will slow down the unannounced visits!


Three months since she's been to church? I hope that trend continues!

I hate how they just drop by, as if people are thrilled to be interrupted.

Do they think you don't remember where the church is if you wanted to be there?

Keep us posted.

Good job Tonto. When mishies show up at someone’s house randomly as part of their regular routine of going door to door, then fine, there is no reason to be overly uncivil or rude. But, when someone has been told not to show up unannounced and are stalking you, and they know what they’re up to, and you know what they’re up to, then I agree; let ‘em have it. Nicely one. I think they often knowingly take advantage of people's natural inclination to civility; sometimes they need a good dose of reality to set them straight.

LOL !!!

wow, you the man !! you scared the shit out of those annoying pussies, have a can of beer sitting next to your door so when they come next time you can hold it and they will think you're an drunk

Well, the end goal wasn't to "scare the shit out of those annoying pussies" although I admit that may have been the means to the end.

My wife, who I suspect is undergoing a major cog-dis stage, has asked that the church not send people unannounced. She's opted out of the monthly teacher visits.

I've personally headed off three different sets of missionaries and some "concerned" church ladies. One of the main reasons we chose this house that we bought is that it is private. Surrounded by trees, not visible from the main road. We value our privacy, and neither of us like random pop-ins.

My job permits me to work from home some days, and sometimes I may not even shave for a day or two. It's after 3:00 in the afternoon right now, and my wife is enjoying a "lazy day" in her pajamas. She deserves it, but she certainly wouldn't entertain visitors in her jammies.

She's made it clear to them. NO UNANNOUNCED VISITS. I've done what I can to back her up in a civil manner.

The civil approach has run its course.

Maybe they'll do what I've not been able to do: get her out of the church permanently.

Passing the three month mark will be something to celebrate because that's the typical point at which addicts return to addictive behaviors. If your wife gets well past that time period it means she has established a new habit to replace the old. Congrats! It's sounds like she is regaining her own mind.

Good job keeping your mouth shut. That's got to be difficult. I think you are right that the Mormons are doing the job for you. If you can just keep being supportive and loving, while they continue to act like jerks, it shouldn't be long before she cuts the cord for good.

Thanks for the update. I love hearing good news on this site.

I don't understand why people think a beer is like kryptonite and will render a mormon powerless.

If anything, the mormon will see that beer and write you off as too drunk to have anything worthwhile to say. Flaunting booze in front of mormons only makes you look like you need saving that much more to them. I think it has the opposite effect that some of you must think it does.

Well I for one am glad they came, just so we could all have this lovely image of you standing up to them!

Nicely done, Tonto!

I counsel gradual escalation:

next time forego the towel ...

3X (nli) Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I counsel gradual escalation:
>
> next time forego the towel ...


Agreed!

Your attire in the towel may discourage anymore drop-in visits.
I told the home teachers and the bishop that we must be called first to make an appt and didn't have any problem except with one set of discourteous missionaries.

You probably all ready know that technically, a visit with no call first does not fit the legal definition of "stalking".

Oh, I'll admit that I'm being a bit loose with the term "stalking" in this instance.

However, when the church ladies dropped in (topic of the thread I referenced above), I told them that my wife preferred no visits unless pre-arranged.

They said something to the effect of, "I know, but she doesn't pick up her phone or answer our texts!"

So... their interpretation was not "she just needs to be left alone." Their solution was, "Well, even though we know she clearly wants to be left alone, we're just going drop by anyway because we know best what she needs."

That's probably still not the legal definition of stalking, but it's closer to the target.

So, what DO you call it when you've told people not to drop in for surprise visits, but they do it anyway? Other than insufferably rude, of course.

I think your use of the word is accurate Tonto for the purposes of conveying that sort of behavior. This isn’t a court of law, and you’re not bringing them up on formal charges, your using a word to convey a behavior. Saying they were rude or insane or stupid wouldn’t convey their conduct nearly as well as the very apt term ‘stalking.’

It’s like my neighbors. A court of law probably wouldn’t find my neighbors guilty of official legal harassment. However, any idiot could see that the thousands of little aggressive and hostile acts and little tricks they’ve pulled on a continual basis for years on end with no other reason than to get under our skin, is for no other purpose than to harass us … a la, it’s harassment, and that’s the best common term one could use to describe the behavior to another person.

There’s a difference between legal definitions, which will even vary from area to area anyway, and how words are simply used to convey a descriptive meaning in common language. Stalking describes the circumstances of your predicament just fine in the context of common language. I can’t think of another word that would be better suited in its place to describe the cult's actions here. :)

The act of chasing after someone who wants to be left alone doesn't have to pass any legal standard unless someone wants to bring charges and have them arrested.

The same is true of harassment.

Next time accidentally drop the towel. I'd love to see their faces. Make it look like an accident.

That's what I was thinking as well, to "accidentally" let the towel slip if they come back again. To me, the look on their faces would be worth it.

Ive shared this before on the board, but my visits came to a stop when I answered the door to my apt in my short shorts and tank top with no bra...and hair freshly washed from the shower.

I am an older lady, but um, yeah..I was hot. I was very unhappy they showed up 9PM at a single woman's apt. I let them know that they were unwelcome and unexpected.

I've had Visiting teachers CALL and text me!! I texted them back sexy messages meant for my BF at the time...it was accidental..but if it every happens again I'm making fun stuff up.

Many Mormons think because they are nice that boundaries do not exist. My ex husband learned the hard way that he is not welcome at my house. He thinks this is "uncalled for" and that IM not nice.

The last time he said that I responded " I have no problem being a (word meaning non nice woman removed by me due to censorship of naughty word) with a restraining order. Did you want to see if I meant it?"

RMM

I'm right there with you. In the past three days I've had three unannounced visits! I'm not even a member anymore. I just had a new baby, and just moved back home after a home renovation. I'm exhausted and not up for this. I can't believe the nerve.

Grrr! People who knock on the door, without calling, when there is a new baby are the worst.

You are tired as hell, you have a moment to nap, or eat, or even just go to the bathroom, and they wake go and wake up the baby.

There is absolutely no excuse for that. I suggest that you put a sign on the door telling people not to knock or ring the bell. EVER. If you are expecting them, they can text you when they arrive.

Put a p.s on the note and tell the Mormons to lose your telephone number.

A friend suggested putting up a cross. I think your idea would be more effective though.

I just realized that Tonto came very close to adding a whole new meaining to chasing them off with the hose. :D

OK, I admit that's funny!

But I promise I wouldn't go bare-ass commando on the missionaries. Had these been female, I wouldn't even have answered in the towel... which, by the way, covered more of my body than they would have seen on the beach. Waist to knees.

I don't see it as that big a deal (other than the shock value), but then again, I grew up playing sports during the days of open bay locker rooms and showers. Any remaining shyness was knocked out during my military days. Absolutely NO privacy then.

There were a couple of instances of mostly innocent group skinny dipping in my youth, so I guess I'm not too hung up on nudity.

I admit to a recurring fantasy concerning the church lady drop-in. Our pool is set just a bit from the house, and as I've said, our property is secluded. So, I just keep an old pair of shorts on the pool railing, so that when I'm working outside, I can just switch the shorts right there. A quick glance up our gravel driveway is all I need to know the coast is clear. So, maybe one day, they show up unannounced, and I'm in the middle of a changing... and maybe I don't scramble to cover myself. LOL!

This sounds like typical morg behavior. I have been through similar things. They knew I wanted to no contact at all. They continued to send people anyway. I'm not nice anymore. My husband went ballistic on them the last time. It was well deserved.

Best of luck Tonto. Hope your wife never goes back to TSCC.