I'm interested in what are the best one liner questions to ask a Mormon. I'm mainly asking because I'd love to have a good one liner to ask to pushy Mormons who come to my doorstep, often, pushing their religion down my throat and my down my family's throats.

I'd love to hear a good answer, from ANY Mormon to this question.

"How do you reconcile singing the praises of Joseph's Myth with the fact that he had affairs with his teenage house help and claimed other men's wives as his own?"



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/04/2015 10:16PM by koriwhore.

That was a very good one.

Mine isn't doctrinal, but missionaries tract my street a lot.

Next time I'm going to mention that I hear their organization is very rich and ask them if there organization has any cash to spare because I could really use a little financial help at the moment.
I'm going to keep asking with my hand in the cupped position; arm held out-right at my hip. I'll suggest their church can set up a monthly donation to my pay-pal account and I will allow them to pray for me and knock on my door any time they desire.

I'm serious. This really is what I'm going to say the next time the preachers come around.

Why did Joseph wait 7 years to tell Emma about his other wives when the revelation he said he'd received said God required the wife to approve new wives?

Other favorites are in the same vein:

Why did Joseph and Oliver not tell ANYONE about being baptized by John the Baptist or meeting Peter, James and John for 5 years?

Why did Joseph wait 18 years to tell anyone about the version of the first vision we taught people on our missions?

Why did the church take 185 years for the church to tell its members that Joseph didn't translate the BoM from plates but rather read it from words illuminated from a seer stone and then show us the stone they've had all along?

HopiBon! Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Why did Joseph wait 7 years to tell Emma about his
> other wives when the revelation he said he'd
> received said God required the wife to approve new
> wives?


oooow good one! as are all the rest of your questions.

With regard to this one I'd be even more curious.....

How did Emma NOT know Joseph had other wives for 7 years.

I mean, come on. It was a VERY small religious community and town for goodness sake. Word must have gotten around.

She must have seen some lipstick on the color, so-to-speak.

He had to have been an exquisite liar to pull that one off....oh wait....HE WAS!!!!!

She knew in 1833, when she and Oliver saw Joseph in "That dirty, nasty, filthy affair with Fanny Alger", which is what resulted in Oliver Cowdery getting excommunicated, because he wouldn't quit characterizing Joseph's relationship with Fanny as "That dirty, nasty, filthy affair".

aka, rape, for short.
He was no better than Warren Jeffs.

It's unsure if he married Fanny. It appears that he did, based on his conviction that he didn't categorize it as an affair. IDK, it's hard to tell with a sheister like that.

According to the known list of wives he didn't take another woman until 1838. (that they know of.)

Emma was already bat-poop crazy over the Fanny Alger affair. I suspect he didn't want to tell her they were married even if they were.



1833 to '38 was quite a dry spell, followed by another slow spell until his 3rd *documented* woman in 1841, at which point he picked up momentum.

It sounded to me like he was afraid to tell her at first.
It sounded to me like there came a point when he couldn't hide it from her any longer and he had to spill.

The thing I found interesting is that Lousia Beaman, his first plural wife if you don't count Fanny, was married before she was baptized.


How does that work in the Godly ordained sequence of law and order of the divinely appointed latter-day-restored principles? hmmm? Wasn't Jesus and God specific enough in explaining the sequence?

How did the hot-off-the-holy-press freshly restored law of baptism get by-passed until AFTER they were married.
How could God allow them to have a temple sealed marriage before she was baptized?

Didn't God know his own religious laws, which he took such pleasure in conveying through mormons that he was restoring it all so they could get it right, be the elect and chosen, yadah yadah yadah?

How does the ancient and restored sequence and law apply for Joseph, but not for any mormon since?

my favorite question is "if the church wasn't true would you want to know ? ".

Mine too

+1

My follow up question to that one is if you would want to know if the church is a fraud, then *how* would you know?

I realize it's not a question. That's what I've been told. I like it.

But, you can masturbate, right? The Boner.

"I mean, come on. It was a VERY small religious community and town for goodness sake. Word must have gotten around."

Like so many CULT members ignore what they don't want to believe, Emma must have ignored the signs that her husband was the scum of the earth.
She did know it though somewhere inside of her mid. She didn't follow BY to Utah. I don't recall if she quit the CULT or joined the reformed version. She was sufficiently fed-up with polygamy and JS's F*CKING everyone with a vagina who was breathing.

Was the Book of Mormon really written to living Lamanites?

"Boxers or briefs?"

Never mind....

Fling open the door, stand toe to toe, look directly into their eyes and say "Your Church is NOT True and you're all lead astray by Satan! Repent and be Baptized in the name of the Lord JESUS!"

Happened to me on my mission. I never went back.

tracted out a Preacher, he came to the door and said "I'm Paster Brown, You're from the Church of the Devil!" and with a sinister smile, "Wanna come in?"

The very best deterrent, when they saw us coming, they chained the dog to the front porch and watched us from the windows. They all laughed when the Dog lunged after us.

Last and best, A house of college girls saw us coming. They all got topless and stood on the property line. They sneered, jeered and Jiggled. That night I soiled my sheets, a couple of times.

Ask them why badly copied drawings from the Egyptian Book of the Dead show up in one of their Standard Works, and why does it include that depiction of a mummy with boner.

If they're a convert: "When you joined the church, did you know that (until 1978) the church didn't allow blacks to hold the priesthood or enter into the temple?"

If they're born in the church: "How did you react when you first realized that (until 1978) the church didn't allow blacks to hold the priesthood or enter into the temple?"

Related: "Does it make you feel good that the church is led by an all-white group of apostles and prophets?" (Ask this one soon because it will probably change before long!)

What's true this week?

Perfect--Heartless!

I'm going to use that one with all Mormons--missionaries, TBM family members, neighbors who tell me to read the BOM again, etc.

"I was a member but have a different truth now. I guess that makes me a covenant breaker as I did take on the responsibility of the name, sign, and PENALTY" - which I was required to pantomine.I guess I should do that now."

Then I could pantomime, with the narrates, the three penalties for their own edification.

Then I'll suggest that ask their temple president (or someone else pre-1990 temple in leadership) about the pre-1990 temple death oaths he was required to take - but they were not. Are they still sacred? Are the still in force for those that took them? Why the change? I mean we don't change the sacrament prayer and the baptismal covenant is to live a lesser law.

"That will do"



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 09/05/2015 08:31AM by mannaz.

"Is it true The Prophet Joseph's motto was 'If there's grass on the infield let's play ball.'?"

What has the mormon church done for me lately? What does the mormon church have to offer me?

I want to see a financial statement from your church before I'll listen to anything you have to say.

My go-to is: How did the first god become a god if there were no gods yet to exalt him?

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/05/2015 10:24AM by cognitivedissonance.

Where are the Nephites?

Will you be a god? And have your own planet & wives?

"Have you heard about the second anointing?"

It's sacred & a secret.

KJ/AnonyMs

"Will you give me your credit card number so I can put some beach-front property in Nevada in your name?"

Does wood float?

Is that a ferret hanging out of your ass?

"How do you feel about the Church having absolutely no financial transparency?"

I actually asked this of my visiting teacher and she answered, "Gee, I never thought about it before."

Wow!

Ooh, I'm totally stealing that one!

To the missionaries I usually just say, "There is no possible way that I can have a testimony of Joseph Smith." That usually stops things in their tracks. Then I follow it up with, "Out of curiosity, how in the world do you?"

For other pain-in-the-ass TBM's I just say, "Until you can produce one of the three Nephite's, don't bother me."