You are watched over in your sleep by Porter Rockwell, "samson of the west".

When Fox news is playing on the tv ALL DAY.

Ok, your turn!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/27/2014 10:54AM by nailamindi.

When you actually look at your crib notes (i.e. Mormonthink.com) before going to Thanksgiving dinner so that you have the perfect comeback for any Mormon subject that comes up.

When you anticipate Jell-O being served for dinner - lemon shrimp Jell-O.

When you spend the morning debating the rights and wrongs of surreptitiously slamming some citrus rum in the diet Pepsi you are taking to your inlaws.

Lemon shrimp Jello? OMG

Here's the recipe. My TBM MIL brings it every year and never seems to notice that only one or two spoonfuls are missing from the bowl, usually eaten by someone for a dare.

1 pkg lemon jello
1 1/2 c water
2 T vinegar
1/2 t salt

Mix together and let thicken. Then mix in

1 can of shrimp
3/4 cup finely chopped celery
1/2 cup Miracle Whip
2 T pimiento
1 t onion juice

Holy shit I thought you were kidding about the yellow shrimp jello. You're not though...and that's kind of frightening.

OMG--Miricle Whip! perfectly appropriate.

Too bad there's no way to get some Velveeta in there.

Holy cow! That is repulsive.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/27/2014 01:48PM by roslyn.

I had forgotten about the Miracle Whip.

But it should be a given.

Shudder! That's disgusting!

Yes, it's pretty inedible. I can't imagine who came up with this recipe. Honestly, no one eats it unless someone dares them to. My daughter bribed her 7-year-old cousin to eat a spoonful and he had to spit it out - then he demanded two dollars instead of the one dollar she promised him. She felt so guilty that she came and borrowed a dollar off me.

Holy shit that sounds a,most as bad as the bacon ice cream sundae they were doing at Denney's. I had to ask the waitress about it and she looked at me with one of those oh shit here it comes looks.... So how many have y'all sold... NONE... What I figured

My kids accuse me of inventing new breeds of food, but this takes it to a whole new level. There must be some scriptural refence that would convince her this is evil. Surely God the Mother (GTM) has declared something on this abomination. Doesnt GTM issue recipe revelations to relief society?

The way I see it, this is proof your MIL is worshipping a devil of some sort.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/28/2014 09:54AM by blankstare.

LOL. Maybe she is. Honestly making fun of grandma's shrimp Jell-o (or shit Jell-o, as even her TBM grandkids call it behind her back) has become such a staple of our festivities, that I think people would be sad if she quit. It's become it's own sort of truth or dare game. Maybe she just wants us to be grateful for the normal food on the table by comparison.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/28/2014 11:17AM by CA girl.

when every wall in the house has at least one photo of a temple, Prophet or mormon "art"

when you are eating funeral potatoes and green jello with grated carrots in it.

When the night before you make your husband do a breath test on several different liquors to see which one smells the least

When you look at your knees and shoulders from 360 degree angles to make sure no offensive skin is showing

When the prayer over the meal gets going so long you consider just... starting to eat...

When you have to edit your thoughts and actions to act mormon to oblige the host... that is, become a pod person.

My condolences to all of you eating with mormons today, I am thankful I don't have to do any of that.

Amen! I'm grateful for the following things- My parents (TBM) went to my sister's (TBM) and I get to enjoy a wonderful thanksgiving with my brothers, their girlfriends (all of whom are not mormon), full of good food and margaritas made by my boyfriend! Oh and the lemon shrimp Jello? Gross lol.

You know you're in the Morridor when, everywhere you go, every other woman you see is pregnant.

You know it is all about the water.... Hehehe

the wine glasses are filled with tap water.

When you sneak down stairs to make your "hot chocolate" that's really instant swiss coffee mix.

When your forced to kneel with the family for family prayer. When you slip a little vodka into your mormon fruit punch (just keep track of your glass). When the old people call each other mom and dad instead of their names.

This year I took a bottle of Pepsi with Citrus Rum in it with me. I must say, I had a much more relaxing Thanksgiving than usual.

Sinner ;)

When you have to listen to multiple conversations about mormon god's one true church, "inspiring" stories about people who were converted away from other faiths.... and then commentary about how exmormons should just keep their mouths shut.

That is one of the most repulsive recipes I have ever seen! Shrimp comes in a can? Never seen that. Perhaps you could substitue brine shrimp from the Great Salt Lake and call it Sea Monkey Surprise. It couldn't be any worse.

When you are 19 and single are asked "Are you ever going to get married?"

That lemon shrimp jello recipe is the most disgusting thing I've seen, as I didn't know shrimp came in a can. I'm thankful that even the Mormons I've known have never come up with something that disgusting.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/27/2014 04:00PM by adoylelb.

In my case it is the other way around.

You know that mormon relatives have come to stay with you for Thanksgiving when...

You sneak your coffee maker out to the shed and go have a cup at 4:30 in the morning.

You hide your rum in an unmarked bottle in the cabinet. You then sneak some into your glass of diet coke when no one is looking. You then secretly laugh to yourself because your dad hasn't got a clue.

When your FIL refers to himself as a patriarch, your MiL puts name cards out so relatives have assigned seats, you cannot wear Levi's until dinner is over so you bring a change of clothes, your fallen adult nephews tell you the dirtiest, funniest jokes on the planet, at least four nieces tell everyone they're pregnant, the blessing on the food takes 15 minutes, you have to tell everyone what you're thankful for, there is a Thanksgiving family program with a hymn and prayers, plans are made for Christmas dinner, and you secretly say, fuck many times under your breath. Did I leave anything out? The Boner.

When all my TBM siblings complain and get bitter about their church callings, HT/VT obligations, meetings but were gushing how grateful they are for the "true gospel" when asked what they are thankful for this fine Thanksgiving day.

and illustrated at the salamander:

http://www.salamandersociety.com/thanksgiving/

When the topic of discussion is whether members of the ward will fulfill their clean the church on Saturday assignments.

dude, that lemon shrimp jello description is NOT what I needed to think about in my severely hung over state...

Thank Anu my in-laws live to far away to enjoy Thanksgiving with. Fond memories from the past: funny stories about the bishop, playing family games instead of watching football, what the funny bishop said at young men's, going around the table and sharing what we are thankful for, Sprite/cranberry juice in the wine glasses, funny stories about the bishop, yada-yada.

Where the infants outnumber the adults by nearly two to one