and then you see.

What did you see differently?

For me, there's the secrecy, the temple, the tithing, the mindlessness, the following, the fear of God, fear of the world, fear of Satan, fear of living, judging of others, the fully prescribed life, indoctrination of cult ideals, and adoration of cult leaders.

What did you see?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/28/2014 06:17PM by dinah.

So right. Leaving a cult is tricky, not like leaving a club. Your list is quite complete.

Distance lends perspective and the Mormon Church looks entirely different when you are examining it from without and can see it clinically and critically all at once with no need for it to be right anymore.

I would only add that the Mormon cult teaches you to doubt yourself. Their motto really should be . . .

Doubt Your Doubts, But First and Foremost, Doubt Yourself. To Thine Own Prophet Be True.

Ugh. You're so right.

Right on. Exactly. My Mother said, "When I left the Catholic Church, I just walked away. Why do you have to go through all of this trouble to officially resign?"

I said, "Because the Catholic Church won't try to track you down for the rest of your life. They won't try to give you a calling to keep you in, send you Visiting Teachers, leave cookies on your door step, send the missionaries to you - everything they can do to bring you back to the fold."

My Mother said, "Well that sounds more like a cult."

That's when the light bulb went off and I finally stopped defending it from being called a cult. My eyes went wide and I declared, "It is! It is a cult!"

Did you converted into the cult after you left the Catholic Church?

I'm just curious because I know a lot of parents at my church that moved here in Utah many years ago. Some of their kids converted into the cult, and later got married with members. I feel so bad because they know that their kids are in the cult, but they can't do anything about it!

One lady's daughter is getting married in Jan. One guy in my Bible study jokingly asked if we were all invited, she sadly answered "no". She added, "but don't worry we are not invited either"! The sound of her voice broke my heart. This is very sad, instead of looking forward to a weeding celebration, the cult is doing the exact opposite thing!!!

ok Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> One lady's daughter is getting married in Jan. One
> guy in my Bible study jokingly asked if we were
> all invited, she sadly answered "no". She added,
> "but don't worry we are not invited either"! The
> sound of her voice broke my heart. This is very
> sad, instead of looking forward to a weeding
> celebration, the cult is doing the exact opposite
> thing!!!

So much for honoring families.
This is the reason I still need exmo recovery.
It messed up my family of origin and relationships with my extended family relatives.
It caused irrepairable damage which I still live with.

Those who are controlled by a cult are programmed to think they're not forced to see domination and weird behavior as such.

I decided to leave TSCC at about fifteen/sixteen ish. When I told my parents of my decision, out the door I went anything even resembling support of their son was withdrawn. Every time I saw my parents after that they invited me to church, they stopped by my house a few Sundays morning WITH MY "SUNDAY SUIT", and would tell me to stop being lazy and go to church. When I asked them to respect my belief that the church was false, they asked me what I believed in. Upon telling them that at that point in my life I was still more on the "what I don't believe" path of discovery, their response made me sick. My mothers response was this..."see, you have no other beliefs, this is the true church, that's why you don't believe in anything is THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO BELIEVE IN!" she then stepped back formally, stood up very straight, and started to bear her testimony to me. It was robotic! That started me on a quest to find out what others believed it. It turns out that the scope of what I truly believe in now is so much greater than what Mormons allowed. I took the time to understand

I decided to leave TSCC at about fifteen/sixteen ish. When I told my parents of my decision, out the door I went anything even resembling support of their son was withdrawn. Every time I saw my parents after that they invited me to church, they stopped by my house a few Sundays morning WITH MY "SUNDAY SUIT", and would tell me to stop being lazy and go to church. When I asked them to respect my belief that the church was false, they asked me what I believed in. Upon telling them that at that point in my life I was still more on the "what I don't believe" path of discovery, their response made me sick. My mothers response was this..."see, you have no other beliefs, this is the true church, that's why you don't believe in anything is THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO BELIEVE IN!" she then stepped back formally, stood up very straight, and started to bear her testimony to me. It was robotic! The creepy part is that my father started crying at how spiritual she was. Once again, I asked them that in my home(I'm not welcome at theirs, the humiliation of a bishop having a son leave the church is too much to take) the church is not discussed unless they were politely willing to listen to the reason I left the church as well. They got up and left stating that "the devil often tries to lure away the hearts of men, we can't as faithful Mormons listen to those lies." they never heard why I left, they just classified anything I said as a lie. We still do not speak to this day due to my unwillingness to listen, rather than discuss. To me that is the very definition of cult behavior.

Ditto...

That list sums it up, oh so well!

Just this week I received cookies and a little note from a sister, that I have no clue who she is.... "just wanted to let you know that heavenly father is aware of you!" So inspired! And then a nice visit from the Sister Missionaries too.... I did let them know that I no longer believe in the church.... I'm sure that they will return and report it to the ward soon enough.

Sry bout the double post, started to get off topic and hit post instead of delete.

When we first stopped going, after everything we read I still didn't see it as a cult. But when the love bombing started and I read about the same thing happening to others I saw how cultish it all was.

Edit: The sister missionaries came by last easter, with 6 cookies for our family of 7 and wanted to tell us how much they loved our family and cared about our salvation. I so wanted to ask them which one of us wasn't loved since they only brought 6 cookies but heck I just wanted them to leave. WHen the next set transferred in and called us I point blank told them we were done with the cult and were resigning and not to call us again. THey came down our street a few days later but we were outside and they looked scared to stop when they saw me. It was kind of funny.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/28/2014 08:00PM by roslyn.

I was baptized as a baby in the Catholic Church, but my mother left her church just after I was baptized. My brother and sister were never baptized. We were never taken to a Catholic service of any kind.

Then I was Anglican, then Baptist, then Mormon. Except for one lady who called me from the Baptist Church, just to see how I was, the Mormons are the only ones who want to track you down for the rest of your life.

What blindsided me was how AFRAID I was to leave, even after I stopped believing. And I'm not talking about just vaguely "losing" my faith. I'm talking about solid evidence that my faith was based on utter BS.

I finally realized that my whole life, I had been been quietly controlled and groomed by deeply embedded fears, brilliantly masquerading as faith.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/28/2014 09:33PM by imaworkinonit.

"I finally realized that my whole life, I had been been quietly controlled and groomed by deeply embedded fears, brilliantly masquerading as faith."

Nicely said and so true.

That's profoundly true, and it speaks to many of us.

It can be so beautiful and liberating to get rid of the fear.

They started tracking me when I was still fully active and found employment which would interfere with potential home teaching assignments. While at work the elders repeatedly same to me home to ensure that I was actually working. The tracking became worse when I became inactive due to exhaustion.

I was on my way out but still attending, and my son was on his way out as a 14 year old when it came time for a temple trip to baptize zombies. He'd already been once and didn't care to do it again. So he made up an excuse in class. The priest quorum advisor came to me after the meeting block with a grave look of concern on his face. The big problem was that my son said he wasn't going on the temple trip. I just shrugged my shoulders and said that's fine. On my way out the door, the bishoprics counselor pulls me aside to discuss the "problem". He has an equally concerned look on his face. Again, I said he's not going, and I'm fine with that. That evening, I'm picking up my daughter from the bishop's house after a fireside. The bishop himself stops me and tries to talk to me about my son and the temple trip. I could not believe how much of an issue they made of someone who simply made his own choice. Its like they expect everyone to go along with the program, and when they don't, its a huge problem. So, yeah, its a cult when you leave. But even before you leave, just thinking for yourself and making your own choices is a cause of alarm.

It was only after leaving that I realized how much I judged others. On the outside, you realize that there's nothing special just by being a Mormon alone.

Man, Brethren,adieu, that's crazy. I'm so glad that you stood up for your kid and let them know that you weren't at all concerned.

I had to stand up for my son, too. The YM/YW tried to force him to go to their "standards night," and he had already told them "no" several times. It was on a week night, and he had a test and a paper due. Various leaders and others kept calling him after school, and during dinner, interrupting our dinner and his study time. He was too young to date girls, and he started to cry, and told me how much he did NOT want to go--even without the pressure of homework. The next call, I took, and told the leader that my son was NOT going. They came to the door, anyway! I was in the back bedroom, and one of the other kids had let two men in, and when I saw them, they were in the living room, literally grabbing at my son! I yelled, "Get your hands off my son!" They said they were there to pick him up for standards night, and I told them that my son made it clear that he was not going, and they should treat my son with respect. The men started arguing with me, and I said, "I am the head of this household! I am telling you that my son is NOT going with you, and that you are to get out of my house--right now!" I was shaking with fury.

What kind of "church" physically forces a child to attend a meeting--not even a religious meeting, but a trumped-up sex-and-courtship lesson, on a school night. No one but a Mormon would Trespass into a private home to drag a child away AGAINST THE WISHES OF THE PARENT. My son was/is a good person, and didn't deserve to be stalked and harassed in this manner.

I have other stories, too, of physical abuse, not to mention the usual pestering, manipulating, and threatening that went on all our lives. But let me say this, that my family and I were treated far worse when we were members, than after we resigned. When we resigned, I had an attorney, and sent him a copy of our resignation letter.

After we became inactive, the Mormons accosted us with crazy, superstitious threats, and I had to remind them to their face that their behavior was not Christ-like. When my angry bishop threatened that God would withdraw His blessings from us, I told him, "You have no authority to speak for God, or tell God what to do." I'm sure my words had no impact on these thugs, but having to say them, made me see clearly, that the whole organization was a cult--an evil cult!

Hey, you nasty Mormons! Go ahead and threaten us! Shun us! Make up slander about us! Exclude us from your parties! Treat us like dirt! The Truth is that we are good people, and nothing is as bad as being a member of that cult.

It's amazing how controlling they are, especially about conformity. My boys always liked having long hair. First they tried to say they couldn't pass the sacrament (my husband told them they were wrong and asked them to show him where it was written) and then they tried to stop one of our boys from going to youth conference using BYU dress standards. I told them that no wear in the For the Strength of Youth book does it mention long hair on boys as being inappropriate. Unfortunately my son died his hair purple right before we took a family vacation and when we got back we never went back to church so I couldn't witness the looks on their faces.

Man, I hated those standards nights. 2 hrs of how evil sex is, how afraid you should be, how awful and sacred your body is, guilt guilt guilt. I was so sheltered that I had no idea there was ANYTHING good about sex. Well, except babies, I guess. I figured God just hated us, especially women. I wondered what I had done to deserve it all. Way to mess people up.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/29/2014 12:32AM by alyssum.

Yikes, that is nuts!! So sorry you had to through that!!

The wickedness and cowardice of faith.

Try and quit in your teens. They will traumatize you until you display emotional damage. Then they will judge you for being damaged. If you confess to a psychiatrist or a therapy group, you have betrayed them. If you complain at all, you're too sensitive.

This is not conjecture. I've lived it.

I'm sorry people had a tough time leaving Mormonism. I never did. Maybe I was lucky that the programming never kicked in, that I couldn't care less that temple rituals are secret/sacred/whatever and that people might have judged me. I walked away and never looked back. Even living in Utah I rarely encounter Mormons or people who care about them.

Ignorance.
Blind eye.
Guilt.
Yah...

What worked with me was what I call the silent wall. Simply put I refused to discuss there problem with them they are liers lock into a desperate lie how can you have a real conversation with people who are desperately running from reality? It,s a wast of time let them have there say. Eat there cookeys if there good say nothing and close the door. Now if the enter your home and assault your child then it,s time for the police or the 2nd amendment. Hey all you exmornmon who are RM remember how frustrating that was, you tracting someone opens the door you do you spill the they just closed the door. It was allways better if they said something, then you could engage them even if it was just to bible bash.