2) That I also believed that God should be answering my prayers and helping me make decisions in my life. He didn't. It just made me more indecisive and unsure of myself because I was expecting some special feeling and couldn't really tell if God was talking to me or not. He wasn't.
That I spent so many years being a pious fool and not leveraging my inbred pretty mormon looks to follow up on some of the nevermo female attention I got when at College. Now that looks are fading, no-one's interested.
Joseph at least managed to convince people he was a prophet to help him with his supplies of horizontal refreshment - and some of his images suggest he looked like the north end of a southbound bus.
I wish I would have gotten pregnant by some nevermo and never made it to the temple, or any alternative plan to what actually happened, now having 5 grown TBM temple married, fully indoctrinated kids, that think I am the nutcase.
Queen of Denial Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I regret: > > All the money > > All the time > > All the stress and guilt and worry
Those three, and:
Feeling like I had to go to the temple and wear funny underwear
Having to save money for a mission that all my life I knew that I didn't want to go on(Thank God I didn't go).
Missed sexual experiences thinking that touching nipples would surly send me straight to hell. I even made one women put her shirt back on when she took it off!
Guilt over never having a testimony. Then a conference talk in the early 90's pretty much said that if you don't have one, but want to have one, then you do have one? I was relieved thinking that my not having one, was one! Hard to picture how that logic works now.
Telling my eleven year old son that his feelings didn't matter, because my feelings didn't matter. Part of reality is to control your feelings. What matters is that you do your duty in this life and sometimes feelings get in the way.
Deep down I knew the church wasn't true. I knew the church was toxic to me, but I didn't leave. I stayed. I have only myself to blame and that pisses me off. But at age 35, I quit the cult and I plan to live the rest of my life the way I choose.
Being somewhat responsible for breaking up families that didn't need to be broken from a lie. My mission was a waste and a complete failure for that reason. I didn't really get involved with trying to get people to join the church at multiple occasions; the guilt over it was too much and I knew that I a) didn't really believe it that much and b) the cost would be too much for something so silly. Go to church every Sunday to talk about a fairy tale? And for that, you get to pay 10% for the rest of your life in a poor country and lose your family and your friends for this all? I feel really bad about that all, I really do. I hope they left the church and successfully reversed what happened.
All the MONEY I gave to the church that I could have been dumping into savings and my kids' college funds. Ugh. Makes me physically ill to think about it :(
180 School days per year 50 minutes per day 4 years
600 Hours wasted on indoctrination!
That was time that could've been spent on writing and math or any other subject that is immensely useful in daily life and makes me $$$.
Utah compares OK to other States in SAT/ACT scores: it might do considerably better if many of the best & brightest spent seminary time in a math class.
That I started the brainwashing in my kids at a young age - before we all resigned. A couple of my kids are still fuzzy about Christian theology, though. I kinda confused them. We're working on it.
Teaching religious concepts is ancient.Almost all humans do it. It's part of how people understand the world around them.I have no regrets about being taught and living religious concepts.It's part of what makes us human. Many of them are universal.
I don't believe anything is really a waste. Mistakes are what the eraser is for on the end of a pencil.
We learn valuable insight, wisdom, experience from our past - including the good, the bad, the ugly.
We all have a large variety of experiences that are valuable.
No regrets over the past.
I like this quote: "Forget regret, or life is yours to miss." Jonothan Larson
That I wasted who I could have been. I should have gone to a liberal arts school and had a career. I should have lost my virginity at a much younger age to a long-haired, granola crunching, Birkenstock wearing slacker before I wised-up and settled down with a responsible husband. I should have had the wedding I wanted instead of what the Morg dictated, on a beach with my non-LDS Daddy walking me down the aisle. I regret wasting so many years living in Utah and of course, there are the tens of thousands of dollars I gave to Mormonism, when there were so many really good causes it could have gone to - so many people who I could have helped.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/23/2011 05:54PM by CA girl.
we could have paid for 2-3 cars with that money!! gone on many many vacations put in a college fund for the kidlets...but my biggest regret is getting married in that damn idiotic cult temple when my husbands wonderful loving parents were "unworthy" to be there.
when my hubby & i decided to leave the Church he literally burst into tears over our wedding day, it still eats at him & me too.
THE GUILT! I wasn't that bad, but I felt like I never measured up. I would see someone on a bus and think I should be asking the "golden questions" but didn't want to.
Missionary experience was enlightening but a wasted 2 years I wish I had back. I was doing great in college and should have continued then. Afterward got married and went to school - struggle.
Love my 5 kids but wish we only had 2. Don't know which one to send back however. Five kids in 30s and only 1 grandchild. None consider themselves Mormon.
The money wasn't too bad, I figured it was what you had to pay for the buildings, etc. and all the positions in ward and stake were non-pay so seemed Okay.
Time was bad. Wife had all these small children and I was always at meetings. She hated that I sat on the stand in Sacrament meeting and she wrestled the kids.
Serving in bishop's court was regretful - to think I was passing judgment on other people - mostly sex related "crimes" and really none of our business!
Been inactive 25 years and still love sports on Sunday.
Probably that my daughter has been sucked back in. Seeing her renact my insanity in my 20s is really difficult. Then I have my son trying to be as much opposite as his sister as possible.
Other than that--no matter what I had to go through, after reading this board for 5-1/2 years, I'm glad I married who I did. There are few things I'd change nowadays except I want my kids to rise above the baggage they grew up with.
I never should have joined in the first place, but in the end, I'm much happier now than I would have been if I didn't join the cult. I no longer take life for granted, especially being able to enjoy coffee and a good belly laugh.