I watched this video from Chris Johnson again, and I can't get over how he describes a "patriarchal blessing" given to a member which really hurt his family.

Has anyone has tried to compile a database of these blessings? Mine doesn't say anything particularly interesting, by my TBM mother's says some really stupid things that are obviously false, now that decades have passed and life interfered with its prophecies.

If nothing else, I'd gamble that these blessings have been getting more and more watered down over the decades as the church has evolved, just like its own doctrines.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nj9uLK-Z1MM

Thanks for posting this video.

Who's your daddy?

I never got one. Besides thinking they were weird and creepy - and maybe too because I wanted (to find out) truth-sin-happiness - I didn't go to the trouble of finding out what mine [BS] would have said.

It would be nice to see a site that compiled lots of (different-similar) "blessings" though.

One of the first things that sort of raised alarms was when I got my blessing. At the time I thought, "Oh cool. This is a special personalized blessing for me only. The spirit is speaking through this man because the spirit really knows who I am." A friend of mine who got his blessing from the same patriarch let me read his and it was nearly identical to mine. That made me a bit upset and I started to wonder.

Ask and you shall receive. http://www.fullerconsideration.com/pbrevelator.php

Does anyone else see a harmful element to p. blessings?

I wonder if they are part of the culture of stripping a person from their own decision-making. By basing life decisions on a p. blessing - or by just depending heavily on such vague inspiration, does a person, in a way, admit some sort of defeat over his own life? I might (might) believe in gifts of the spirit and the possibility of some inspiration in a p. blessing (or any blessing), but does that mean I can't get more personal, more meaningful inspiration for myself, without a priesthood pronouncement? Could a p. blessing be crippling in a way?

Am I making any sense?

I made specific decisions based upon my blessing which I now regret.

I also carried a lot of guilt for many years for NOT doing things my blessing said I would (I.e.)serving a mission.

Oh, and my sixteen year old daughter fasted all day before her blessing and was more nervously excited than I'd ever seen her. I told her to not expect much; it wouldn't be anything more than a three page long fortune from a Chinese cookie!

I had to hide my laughter when my ex-wife shared her new PB with me. "Daughter of Obedience" was repeated over and over again. If there is any woman on earth for whom that title is a joke, it was and is this gal. She was...no...I won't even start.

I am pretty sure that Patriarchal Blessings are able to be affected by the upper atmosphere or something, how else could that fine woman have gotten somebody else's PB?

I never bothered to get mine...though I was asked many times by my mother to get one. One of my cousins got hers and shared it with me. Apparently, she was going to have lots of kids and marry in the temple. As a young adult, she overdosed on meth and had one kid while living in an insane asylum. Now, she lives in a halfway house and her brain will never function past an eight-year-old's. I guess her patriarchal blessing lied.

I wish we could make a database of patriarchal blessings, with commentary from the receivers of the blessings, and the name of the patriarch. Would be very interesting



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/05/2014 04:40AM by To hell in a handbasket.

To hell in a handbasket Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I wish we could make a database of patriarchal
> blessings, with commentary from the receivers of
> the blessings, and the name of the patriarch.
> Would be very interesting

There is one:

http://www.fullerconsideration.com/pbrevelator.php

Ah.... thank you. I shall submit mine as soon as I sneak it out of my file at my parents house. I threw my copy away lol

A patriarchal belssing is a promise of jam tomorrow in return for obedience today designed as a control mechanism for keeping members in the Church and paying tithing. Nothing more.

My dad's talks about helping the Saints with their temporal needs as they gather to Zion.

Dad's still alive, but he's in his 70s. The saints still haven't gathered to Zion and I'm pretty sure it's not gonna happen in his lifetime.

No matter. You just have to come up with some creative interpretations for "gather". And of course PB's don't only apply to this life. There is an eternity for the promises to be realized!

I wish I had kept mine so I could send it in to that website. I just figured it wasn't worth the paper it was typed on and round filed it.

And the mormons would laugh at people who go to a palm reader/fortune teller.

Patriarchs are the equivalent of consulting your psychic.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/05/2014 02:29PM by redpill.

IF you are still a member and have an account on lds.org:

https://apps.lds.org/pbrequest/request/PERSONAL?lang=eng

Mine ended with "all your blessings I seal upon you ON CONDITION to your faithfulness...." (etc., etc.)

So since I haven't been "faithful," I don't expect them to come true.

But then, the LD$ church is a fraud anyway, so even if I'd been "faithful," I don't expect them to come true.

*sigh*

Wow, that's not really a blessing request app, is it?

I have overestimated the cult, and I repent.

patriarchal blessings are like fortune cookie fortunes.

Some of them are so lame they can't even be helped by adding the words "in bed".

Are they really still giving out these things?

You'd think they'd wise up and quietly let the custom go the way of the dodo or adam-god.

Does anyone know the latest CHI poop on patriarchals?

Mom was so sure that if she could just get my ass in a chair in some bad breathed old geezers house that I would decide hold fast and wait out the year long probation that Gordo imposed on me after over-ruling my mission call.

Well guess what?

I threw mine away years ago. But it promised me I would find a man worthy to take me to the temple. Yup I did that, but guess what? He was a shocking abuser and it ended in divorce 20 years later, stange, no mention of that in the blessing.

I was told that I would always hold fast to the truth ..... umm think he meant tscc, but maybe he was right I am holding fast to the truth, hence by presence here on the board.


Oh and I am descended from Ephraim, something I should be 100% grateful for. Makes me choice and explains my white and delightsome skin which is a real pain in Australia's sun!!

GREAT stuff huh????

I got one...never read it.

RB

My brother should be raising the dead any day now. I sure hope he's around for the zombie apocalypse.

He was 16 when he got his. Craziness. I got mine the very same night and it paled in comparison. How could I compete with Jesus miracles?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/05/2014 07:15PM by Queen of Denial.

It's obvious, Fluhist, that you lacked sufficient obedience and are not worthy to be blessed by the promises in your patriachal blessing. Perhaps you desired to sin; did you succumb to the evils of coffee?? Or pornography. It must be pornography.

It's the ultimate get out clause - predict the obvious and "isn't the lard's work fabulous". Get the predictions wrong and there is the ridiculous and pathetic excuse that "it's for the eternities" or that the recepient is somehow "unworthy". Reinforcement of the delusion.

More mormon stupidity.

More mormon insanity.

This is one of the most abusive aspects of the cult, in my opinion. Based upon the drivel spouted by these charlatan's (ie: "patriachs"), people make life changing choices, pressured into decisions they would not have made otherwise.

The cult still makes me angry.

Aussieblokesarebest, from Sydney
(Formerly antipodeanheathen)

Among other things, mine said I would be privileged to visit Jackson County, Missouri, and help build the kingdom of God there.


So when I was headed out on vacation one time while still a TBM, I made it a point to drive through Jackson County and visit all the sites on my way, driving to Salt Lake City. (Yeah, I used my vacation time to hit all the temples I could on my two weeks off from work!)


Even made it a point to drop a hundred bux on the place, so that I could "help build the kingdom of God" there.


Pretty good prediction there -- it predicted I'd go to Missouri, so I made sure to go to Missouri in order to make the prediction come true...

My sister's said she would die in childbirth. After the audible gasp from Mom, he changed it to, she will have difficult labors. As if going through labor isn't scary enough.

That's f'd up. What an ass.

I agree. How is that supposed to help her if she stays righteous? Does that mean if she strays from the church that she will not die in child birth. I feel bad for her because even though it's all bs, it was always in the back of her mind.

What a cruel thing to do to someone in the name of God.

Mine spoke about how important choosing the right friends were, obviously it was important because it said it three times. It also talked about what a righteous daughter I was. It spoke of my return missionary husband and all my children who would stay close to the church and that I would know with a surety of all things before I depart this life.

It hurt me for awhile, I realized I was a disappointment because I had married a non-member even though I had a perfectly fine RM to marry even though I had no interest. My husband felt bad because he thought I wasn't the man I was supposed to marry. Stupid piece of paper.

Anyhow I found the thing a few weeks ago, I ripped it up little by little by little and by little. It was grand and I felt liberated.

I guess I need to look up the history around patriarchial blessings. My guess is that ole Joe gave the first ones to friends with money who were straying from the fold.

presleynfactsrock Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I guess I need to look up the history around
> patriarchial blessings. My guess is that ole Joe
> gave the first ones to friends with money who were
> straying from the fold.


The first Church Partriarch was Horny Joe Sr aka ole whiskybreath.

He was paid a few bucks a pop for a blessing from the phony profit's pop.

I forget who succeeded him but he was the pattern that others took up.