To sir Tommy I say, you'd be much more persuasive playing the part of prophet if you said anything prophetic or profound.

Complete genius tagline Steve! :)

But.... but..... but.... they are sustained as such.

ha ha...

And the pitch: Apostate troubles interfering with your ability to go? I used to get up several times a night. My doctor recommended Ess-A. Now I simply Ess-A the inflammation away.

Don, that's a-w-e-s-o-m-e!

Remember Carnac the Magnificent? Now he was a prophet!

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/ZFQFf_Vb0Hw/hqdefault.jpg

We thank thee oh God for a Prophet
To scam us in these latter days

We thank thee for sending the Monson
And the church that we so love to pay

We thank thee for every toilet
That is cleaned by our delightsome hands

We feel it a pleasure to worship him
And love to hear his words oh so bland



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/11/2014 07:39AM by heberjgrunt.

..."I don't always prophecy, but when I do I prefer a rock."

..."Merry Xmas, you unbelieving sinners!"

http://mooshworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/New_Year_wallpapers_Drunk_Santa_Claus_051313_.jpg

It's the other way around:

"I'm a prophet, but I don't play one on TV, or anywhere else."

When is the last time a sitting LDS President even CLAIMED that
something was given to him by God to give to the Church? I'm
not even talking about predicting anything, I mean saying
something was given to him by God.

The best I can find is when ETB said that God told him to tell
the members to read the BOM. That was the last time that I can
find that an LDS president "spoke as a prophet."

Dear gawd, I hate having to explain jokes. :)

Now, where were we?

"We thank thee, O God, for a Prophet,
To guide our remotes, push the "Play,"
We thank thee for setting our channel,
Bombarding our minds with its rays.
We.thank thee for every commercial
For Deseret Book's Brethren brands,
We feel loving pressure to listen
To each teleprompted command.

"When Conference comes on, we all sit up
Zoning out, tuning in for the joy
Of watching our Prophet in make-up,
Telling us that the Net's Satan's ploy,
We doubt not a word that he beams us,
We've see that he lives on TV,
So what if he's suffering dementia,
God's in charge, don't believe what you see.

"We'll absorb every wave washing o'er us,
Like zombies, all day and all night,
Rejoice that the thinking been done, thus,
We bask in the screen-streaming light.
So happy for pulsing protection,
So grateful we know where to go,
The Prophet is on, don't distract us.
It's time for the Gen Conference Show."



Edited 8 time(s). Last edit at 12/11/2014 03:11PM by steve benson.

Do the 15 stay at a Holiday Inn Express the night before conference?

...maybe. Or maybe this one.

https://www.bunnyranch.com/