Has therapy been a big help to anyone since leaving Mormonism? I have been considering going, but need some reassurance. It seems like whenever I bring up the idea it gets shot down because there is a lot of distrust toward therapist/psychologists.

Go for it. You can always stop or switch therapists if something isn't working. Distrust of therapists is a common feeling, especially for mormons who were taught the gospel has all the answers.

It's a good idea to interview the therapist before starting to get an understanding of their approach, attitude and experience with your situation. Deciding to interview a few up front will make it natural to select the best fit.

I find it very awkward to switch or "fire" a therapist and so it works better for me to make an assessment before getting started. If a therapist doesn't want to do an interview then that is a serious red flag.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/14/2014 11:59PM by jefecito.

A red flag? It depends on what you consider an "interview" prior to beginning therapy. In my career as a psychologist I have been entirely willing to candidly answer questions that are asked by a potential client who is seeking to make an initial appointment. However, I don't think it's reasonable to ask a therapist to essentially expect an unpaid session for that purpose. You wouldn't gauge your physician or even your hairdresser by that standard either.

Thanks for adding that perspective. By "interview" I mean having something like a 10 minute conversation about the therapists' experience, approach to the specific situation, success rate perhaps (if that could be defined), how they have kept themselves up to date, etc. Whatever is important to you. Over the phone.

When I recently sought out a marriage therapist, for example, I wanted to know how much experience they had with couples as opposed to individuals and whether they were comfortable taking a secular approach, by which I specifically meant not moralizing sexuality. A couple of people wouldn't answer a brief list of questions without an attitude. I took that as a sign they might have trouble caring about my needs as a client.

So far so good with the therapist we selected.

When I first left the church, I read a lot of books about happiness, healing, abuse, relationships, boundaries, and figuring out what kind of life you want to create. And I got some free'therapy' by seeking support here on the board.

I didn't talk to an actual therapist about leaving Mormonism until a few years after I left, and that wasn't even the primary reason I went to talk to her. But it was validating, and I think it would have been helpful to do it sooner.

If I were to do it over again, I'd find someone experienced in religious transitions, and try to find someone with experience in destructive religions or cults. Why not speed the process along with someone who can guide you back to emotional health faster?

Many years ago, long before I resigned I finally found a therapist that really helped me with depression. When you find a good one, they can really help. But there are bad ones out there so be cautious. I had a few who were working out their own problems on me.

Really depends on whether you need a professional. Some problems are difficult to solve yourself.

One warning. Never go into therapy without goals. Therapy should end when those are met. You're paying for a professional, not a friend. If they don't have clear goals for you, find someone else.

Perhaps all I really need is a friend to talk to. I have pretty much been a loner ever since I left Mormonism 2 year ago. I have tried talking to my exmo parents, but they left for different reasons than me and they don't relate. It always ends in an argument. I just want someone to listen and be understanding. Someone that will help me sort through what I am feeling without nagging or judging me.

A good therapist is worth their weight in gold. A bad one not worth the cost of a bullet.

See someone who is NOT LDS and who specializes in issues related to religion.

If your employer has an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) you may be able to get several visits completely paid for by your insurance. That way you can check out a counselor for free.

Yes it's great to have goals. But some of us have unrelenting mental disease. I have been seeing the same therapist on/off for 14 years. I go in when I need to, which is tomorrow. He is LDS and has known me before and after tscc, though he was not my therapist when I left.


The lds therapist I went to when I actually left said I was running away from things. My son at 5 (not even in school yet justbarely) was accused of sexual abuse of other 4 and 5 year olds because someone came upon a bunch of htem with their pants down. This so-called therapist labeled it abuse. Which in no way, shape or formwas it. Accused dad of sexually abusing son.

So it depends on your experiences with the church. I was sexally abused as a kid for many years by a melchesidick phood family member who was charming and would never hurt his granddaughter like that.

So I needed to deal with that and how tscsc dealt with it. or didn't as the case may be.

Even if I had not had ptsd, major depressive episodes recurrent or GAD, I would have needed therapy when I left. I think it would also depend on how much tscsc is part of your life. I live in Utah county so it is prevalent in pretty much everything.

I would check it out if I were you, you will know when you are done. even though I have had this therapist that long there are months and even years I have not needed to go in.

good luck!!

I did have a lot to deal with, though. My gay/straight marriage and then loss of belief. I tried out several therapists and then found the one I have gone to for at least 17 years. I don't see him that often now, only 3 times this past 12 months, but he knows my whole story and I just have to go vent to him now and then, and he instantly knows what to say and I'm okay. At first I went twice a week.

I've gone from hating gays to being best friends with my ex. I have come SO FAR. Most people get weary of listening and they have the attitude of "just get over it." OR they have an opinion because they have an investment. I guess you could say my therapist has an investment with me now, too, because I do consider him my friend nowadays.

It is important to realize that not all therapists fit every person. If one doesn't work out, try another one and another one until you find one that works for you. Therapy is quite taxing, but believe me, I was broken when I started therapy. I've come a long, long ways.

Of course, finding a therapist that you feel comfortable with can be a challenge, so sometimes you have to shop around.

Sometimes, it's just a relief to be able to vent what's on your mind in a non-judgmental setting. If your therapist/counselor thinks you need medication, he or she may refer you to a psychiatrist who can prescribe.

It's certainly worth a try. And BY NO MEANS USE AN LDS therapist! Their first duty is to the church, not to YOU!

My inactive DH is a therapist, and he was interviewed by the local LDS support services. I had told him about their insistence that the patient sign a form authorizing the therapist to snitch anything that comes up in session for possible disciplinary action later, and DH didn't believe me. He said, "That's a breach of ethics! They can't do that!"

But during the interview, they told him this is standard procedure. He brought up the ethics issue. They said that it had more to do with church policy than with ethics.

DH said, "We're done here," and walked out.

As I tell those close to me, is that I have a theropist, it is called a Harley. For me therapy is 55 mph on some great roads for a couple of hours.

I'm to old to ride my Harley anymore so therapy was my next choice. I accidently found a therapist who was not LDS but had been married to a BIC who committed suicide. It was just the combo I needed.

She has helped me through leaving the cult, my husband's severe health crises, and the lack of support from family. All happened in the space of 3 months.

I just went back last week after 6 month break. The holidays, bad news about DH's health, and attacks from my son sent me back.

It is a real luxury to tell everything to someone who has no iron in the fire. She gives me ideas for problem solving and where to start. Its been very helpful.

I would never go to an LDS therapist...repeat...never!

Going to a therapist saved my life. I was having problems with mormonism and coming out as gay at the same time. I was severely depressed and attempted suicide several times. The guidance and advice was invaluable. I still make an appointment with my therapist every once in a while when I need some advice or insight from someone nonjudgmental who knows me well.

well...lol, here's my old man opinion. Nothing wrong at all with going to psychs or therapists but you're asking a question that has a very tough answer.

Is there a therapist out there that specializes in mormonism? Is there any therapist out there that sits on the middle of the fence and can give you the truth or the right answer???

You're not going to find the answers from a therapist. If they're a mormon therapist (and there's a lot of them) they're going to convince you to get back into the fold. If they're non mormon...well, they're still not going to be able to understand what it means to have your mind and soul taken away from you by a cult.

You're going to have to do the hard work by yourself. To that I would add, if you're mormon, that you've had your WHOLE life having the answers fed to you. NO...it's your time, your day to find your mind, your own mind...and figure out the answers that are best for you. There are no quick fixes, no quick answers. It really all comes down to you. This place is a place where you can meet thousands of people who can tell their stories, speak their anger, "kick against the pricks" whatever you want to call it. It's a place where you can talk, ask questions, get answers. My answer for me? I have never felt so free as to rid myself of all the judgement, all the oppression, all the guilt as I have felt from leaving mormonism behind. But maybe that's not for you? YOU have to find your answers and maybe my answers dont do anything for you?

All I can say is that by being here, you feel something is wrong. You're not comfortable, you're not happy. Stand up...find out for yourself what it is and where you want to go. Just be ready...you've been surrounded by a whole lot of people who feel different. Just keep pressing on...