We've all seen them--or at least I hope I'm not imagining things: nerdy, socially awkward Mormon men (usually returning missionaries) with a foreign-born "wife" that he's brought back to the states.

You just know that there's no way in Hades he could find someone nearly as attractive--or find anyone period--here in America.

It's so obvious and so sad. The women gets to come to America but at a high cost: married to someone she barely knows, has to learn a new language (wow!), and is sucked into a cult.

That was just so *funny* you felt the need to post anonymously.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/15/2014 12:50PM by Queen of Denial.

Its always good to post anon when you are going to be judgemental.

Very true but I don't think they need to go foreign. I see tons of RM geeks and doughboys with very attractive women. That attractiveness disparity usually evens out as the years go by, though.

This topic is so bad but I do have a funny story for it.

There is a guy in the ward who married a local from a foreign country he met and converted on his mission. So a few years back I guess there was a push from headquarters to have leaders less than bishop handle "counseling." My neighbor was EQ Pres at the time. This guy went to him with a problem.

His wife and him didn't know if it was okay to do it doggie or have her perform oral on him. They both wanted to counsel with their leader (obviously the EQ Pres qualified?) about this. The way my neighbor described it was hilarious. Apparently the guy crossed a boundary with details.

And the punchline was the guy's wife liked doing both these things but was desperate to know if they were ok.

And she is way out of his league.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/15/2014 02:25PM by Elder Berry.

So Phil or Bill or Steve down the street has been called by God. Let's go down and share with him everything we do in the privacy of our bedroom. Then we'll ask Phil if he approves of the way we are "doing it". It's very important that we get the thumbs up from Phil. Totally normal...in a cult



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/15/2014 02:45PM by wastedtime.

One guy in my old ward (Lethbridge 3rd) was a tall skinny & geeky looking and his wife was a smokin' hot babe. At least I thought so when I was 13.

Ron Burr

By the time they're 50, you have no clue who the good-looking ones were in their 20s and who the geeky ones were. In fact, some of the most geeky ones are better looking in their 50s, and certainly ones you can carry on an intelligent conversation with. I know many formerly drop-dead gorgeous guys who are totally fat (even obese) and bald now. And if you can't talk sports with them, the conversation goes downhill.

That song, "Sometimes I Thank God for Unanswered Prayers," resonates so much with me. I see (or see the Facebook profile of) so many of the LDS guys who I had crushes on in high school/college who wouldn't have given me the time of day back then. And now all I can say is "Ewwwwwwwwww." Especially the ones who are obviously drunk on their supposed power and authority. I love, love, love being independent. I dodged a number of bullets.

Men and women usually are looking for different things. An attractive wife is plus for a man. A good provider is a plus for a woman. For the most part the bride will not become more attractive over the years. For the most part the groom will become a better and better provider.

I would think that a foreign wife would be a good bet for the man. For the most part he will receive kindness and appreciation from his wife for her privelege of being home with the children and be provided for. It is a win win.

<Men and women usually are looking for different things. An attractive wife is plus for a man. A good provider is a plus for a woman.>

Maybe back in the 1950s. Not today. Besides, that's a broad generalization that's not going to be true for a lot of women, especially millenials who are now reaching (very early) marriage age. News flash: women have careers now and aren't looking to marry a wallet.

It's still 1950 in most of Utah.

I noticed you did not say that things are different for the men.

I think of all the tired Mormon wives I saw old before their time from many births and kids they had to deal with because their husband's calling required his time away from home when she needed

help most. Many times the husband looked ten to twenty years younger. There were times when he just had to trade her in for a younger model.

I'm a foreign wife to an american husband. We met years after our missions and I think he's way more attractive than I am.

But back in my home country I saw many women who would hit just on any american missionary around, just for the chance to marry him and come live in the USA, no matter how ugly or a**holish he was.

The odd looking ones were easier to "conquer" obviously. :-)

I have seen so many beautiful, well accomplished, outgoing young women marry these nerdy, socially awkward, Church Inc-approved men.

Marry in haste and repent at leisure. There was NO WAY those men would have been able to pick up those girls without the "seal of approval". I watched many young women get upset that I "hooked" my TBM husband and they didn't. One even had to gall to tell me "I knew him a month longer and have been a church member all my life and you date him three months and you are engaged".

Yeah, I was one of those converts. I was hot and he got me and pushed me for a quickie marriage (made him wait 9 mos-no I wasn't preggers) and then he pushed to knock me up right away.

SO many people said I was way too good for him, including his own Mother. Why did I NOT listen??

RMM

I lived in the Far East for a while. You would have thought I was a GQ cover model. EVERY girl expressed interest. It was also weird going to clubs that provided free admission for American guys. But they did that so all the local ladies would show up and bring in the local guys (who had to pay). American men have it easy outside the US.

And don't forget all those female American RMs who pick up foreign husbands... Oh wait.

It's probably an evolution of cultural imperialism. War booty was often booty. Onward Christian (and Mormon) Soldiers!

My cousin who is 10 months older than me, told me at the time he was on his mission that I needed to go on one to pick up a foreign husband. I was only 19 at the time, & it threw me off guard.

I believe marriage is a contract between two people and nobody's business but theirs. I see lots of couples where I don't know what one sees in the other, but I don't need to find out. I just hope they are happy together.

still is after 37 years plus. I suppose that we are an odd couple, but I have no regrets. Our children are very good looking and popular.

The thing is, there's a lot more to people than just how attractive they are and how good they look together.

I can't read this thread because I know it'll make me sick. There are so many posters here who only see women as valuable in terms of aesthetics. To these people, who we are and what we can do are not important. Personality, apparently, is irrelevant when judging other people to be "odd couples."

You're right of course but the whole premise of the post was a shallow observation of how a couple looks together. Most people in the morg have pretty unattractive intellects. I know some very cool people, men and women, who I love talking to. I rarely even think about their appearance.

dogzilla Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The thing is, there's a lot more to people than
> just how attractive they are and how good they
> look together.
>
> I can't read this thread because I know it'll make
> me sick. There are so many posters here who only
> see women as valuable in terms of aesthetics. To
> these people, who we are and what we can do are
> not important. Personality, apparently, is
> irrelevant when judging other people to be "odd
> couples."
**************************************************
What's funny is when you go to a party with your "other half" and someone you know, perhaps a little swozzled, comes out and asks you what on earth YOU (meaning UGLY) did to attract such a good-looking, sophisticated mate.

It smarted a little- okay, a lot- but over the years I did come up with a few clever replies, some of them, depending on the level of drunkenness of myself and the other person were either risque or just nasty.

Yeah because women would never marry a rich guy, or a powerful guy, handsome, etc. Hypergamy doesn't exist.

Yeah, because a few people do it, that obviously means we're all gold-diggers.

There was a Harold and Maude couple in my ward. He'd served a mission in the area, and came back to marry her. She was 20 years older than him. She was a very frumpy looking old lady in her 40's, and it only got worse.

He was tall and handsome. He had a beautiful speaking voice. Problem was, he was a bit mental.

He basically married a mama to take care of him, and she did. They had one child. It was strange. She always looked like she was with her two kids. In a way, she was.

Eventually she decided to divorce him. He couldn't get a job or take care of himself though. He ended up living in her basement for time and all eternity.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/16/2014 10:41AM by madalice.

Woo boy, just flashbacked a little.

I hated high school. Teenagers can be intolerably cruel sometimes.

I have nothing more to add to this thread than my husband and I are both very attractive. The end.

Many years ago, my dad gave my mom a Montblanc pen for her birthday. She'd always wanted one!

Years later, a fellow cube dweller at the call center where she worked eyed it and then said in a nasty voice: "How could YOU afford a Montblanc pen?"

Mom said: "I sleep with the right people!"