For some reason this crossed my mind today.

Did any of you when you were aaronic priesthood age do anything silly while prepping or passing the sacrament?

As a teacher, we were assigned to prep the sacrament before meeting. Our ward used the plastic cups with steel trays. With the cups on the ends, we would push them in real hard, so they were extremely difficult to pull out. Primarily, we would do this because there was a very senior lady (90 years oldish) who would sometimes speak her mind regardless of where she was or the current situation. When it was her turn to take a cup, without fail, she would try to take a cup and loudly blurt out "The Goddamn thing is stuck!".

The only other thing I can remember is filling the bottom of the tray, where the used cups are tossed, with water. When the unfortunate deacon started to walk with the tray, it would start sloshing back and forth.

Any stories you can remember?

I think the highlight of being a deacon is the opportunity it gives one to look down dresses and blouses, or at least stare at pleasantly rounded bosoms.

What I remember about being a priest was that sitting on the stand gave me a chance to check out the hotter wives and daughters and that always led to concocting lurid tales involving lots and lots of consensual sex.

I basically spent my teenage years waiting for my next opportunity to masturbate.

Elder OldDog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I basically spent my teenage years waiting for my
> next opportunity to masturbate.

And I thought it was just me! If I could have lettered in it in high school...! The Boner.

My quorum adviser told us a story where the priests accidentally mixed up the water/bread prayers and nobody noticed.

I remember once where the deacon passed me by with the water, on his way into the foyer, for the nursing and bored. Upon his returning through the door I exclaimed, "you skipped me", as he passed me the water - I figured I took the bread and deserved water to wash it down, at least (surely the bisho-prick told him to "miss me" with the blood - wonder what would have happened had he told him to miss me with the body). That was the last time I ever took the sacrament - in the Mormon "church".

I wonder what the JUDGES on the stand thought when I kept the deacon on his toes.

M@t

There were a bunch of times I wacked it before church. Never washed my hands after, and then went and broke the bread. Oh, like you all never did that! Just extra priesthood blessings for all who partook.

Filling one of the cups with a airplane size bottle of vodka, and listening as an old lady cough as she did the shooter.

Though I will never have the opportunity, I think it would be fun to make an exact replica of the laminated card with the printed sacrament prayers, replacing the words "Jesus Christ" with "Jesus H Christ" just to see if anyone would notice when the kid prays it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/22/2014 08:08PM by deco.

One Sunday in the fridge was a bottle of flat Sprite. I filled specific cups with the flat Sprite instead of water so I would know who drank it. It was so freaky funny watching their faces as that flat Sprite hit their taste buds.

During PH meeting the bishop mentioned that several members had told him the water tasted funny and he wanted us to run the water before filling the cups. He said the water was getting stale during the week in the pipes and we needed to flush the stale out and use fresh water. Stale water was not the problem, just flat Sprite.

It is still funny 40 years later.

themaster Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> One Sunday in the fridge was a bottle of flat
> Sprite. I filled specific cups with the flat
> Sprite instead of water so I would know who drank
> it. It was so freaky funny watching their faces as
> that flat Sprite hit their taste buds.
>
> During PH meeting the bishop mentioned that
> several members had told him the water tasted
> funny and he wanted us to run the water before
> filling the cups. He said the water was getting
> stale during the week in the pipes and we needed
> to flush the stale out and use fresh water. Stale
> water was not the problem, just flat Sprite.
>
> It is still funny 40 years later.


I pissed myself. Funny sh!t!!!

As far as using flat sprite for sacrament:

"2 For, behold, I say unto you, that it mattereth not what ye
shall eat or what ye shall drink when ye partake of the
sacrament, if it so be that ye do it with an eye single to my
glory—remembering unto the Father my body which was laid down
for you, and my blood which was shed for the remission of your
sins."
--D&C 27:2

So flat sprite is OK to use.

I remember once the boys only filled the cups up with enough water to barely cover the bottom of the tiny cups. I knew they were going to do this and watched as each member drizzled a few drops of water in their mouth. I was laughing so freaking hard I was crying and nearly wet myself! Good times. Good times.

We would fill one cup with 7-Up. That way you could watch the tray be passed along down the pew without incident, then all the sudden, the lucky ward member would go into a coughing fit as they were not ready for the carbonation to hit their throat.

Also, my friend and I were decent artists, so as priests, we'd sit up there behind the sacrament table and sketch people in the ward with word balloons saying all sorts of crap. The goal was to make the other guy laugh out loud during the meeting.

Once, we priests decided to have a contest to see who dared to break the bread into the smallest pieces. We really got into it, and it seemed to take forever. The sacrament hymn was long finished and the three of us were still up there breaking bread like crazy. When we finished, the trays were mounded high with nothing but crumbs. It took an iron will to say the prayer without bursting into laughter. We got some dirty looks, but no one said anything.

I was a new teacher and our building had the sacrament prep room at the other end of the building away from the chapel. This meant the trays had to be filled then loaded on a cart, pushed down the hall into the chapel, and down the aisle to the sacrament table. I was not very quick at filling all those little plastic cups so I could hear the prelude music playing as I started down the hall. I was nervous that I was so far behind, I picked up the pace and was going at a bit of a jog when I started down the aisle in the chapel. I had no concept of Newton's First Law of Motion so when I brought the cart to a halt in front of the sacrament table, the three water trays on top of the cart continued on and into the front of the table. Twisted metal, flying plastic cups, water soaking the sacrament tablecloth and bread and carpet... all in front of the entire ward. Good times

My idea for a Baptist prank is to replace the grape juice with cranberry, pomegranate, or maybe grape koolaid. Pomegranate is Biblical (sort of). I'm 67. One of these days, I just might do it.

We had an incident when the priesthood boys who passed the sacrament put vodka in the cups instead of water. THe bishop (being up front) was served first and nearly choked. Lots of trouble followed.

I heard that "other" religion is using low-cal wafers now. They're called "I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus."

Washing up liquid in one of the sacrament cups caused an unsuspecting older sister to scream out loud and the mother of all inquisitions from the bishop.

When I was a young deacon, the first counselor in the bishopric was subbing as the teacher in deacons quorum. As part of the lesson he told us a story about how when he was 14 years old, he had put salt in the sacrament water.

We learned two lessons from this story. First that even if we were rebellious, sinful teenagers, we could still expect to grow up and hold high positions in the church. Secondly, we learned that we didn't need to worry about being struck dead for making light of priesthood ordinances because clearly god was no longer enforcing that punishment as he had in Old Testament times.

I don't think those were the lessons that the bishopric member had intended for us to learn from his story.

Can't stop laughing.

OMG...there are some great ones on here.

Dafydd if I had been drinking I would have done a spit take. That was great!

Mine was embarrassing at the time. I was just made a priest, and it was my first time. I was suppose to sit where I didn't have to pray but another priest took that spot. So it was up to me to say the prayer over the water. Little did I know that my dad had told my best friend who was sitting next to me to count how many times I started over. I guess my dad knew me too well.

I was so nervous and started and messed up, then messed up again, finally as I am starting my fifth try I look over and see my buddy holding up fingers of how many I had done. And again I messed up, then he moved finger to 5. I started laughing into the microphone. And my buddy kept counting.

It took me 7 tries to say the prayer right on the first time. UGH I hated doing that lol.

And now I and my buddy are in the same boat, it's nice to have a friend on the journey.

There were three teachers in my ward who would do things just to see if people noticed.

One time they sat up there on the stand like three monkeys with their hands positioned. One sat with his hands over his eyes, another had his hands over his ears and the third had his hands over his mouth.

Eventually one of the counselors on the stand would go over and tell them to knock it off when they started to notice people snickering.

When I was a priest, we had a bunch of real screw-ups as teachers. They would prepare various problem trays, and we would try to catch them before they were passed to the congregation.

1. One Sunday, as I started to break the bread, I found a dead mouse under the bread. That tray immediately went under the bench.

2. Another Sunday, I picked up a slice of bread, and there was a loud <<crack>>. I had set off a loaded mousetrap on my fingers.....it was funny later, but it hurt like heck at the time. After the meeting, the BP came over to find what the sound had been.....he was given the mousetrap....all of the teachers were interrogated.

No. I am afraid that I was far too serious!

Dallin Oaks' brother in-law was my priest quorum adviser. So, no. No shenanigans!

Nevermo question. So teenage boys prepare the sacrament? What rocket scientist came up with that plan?

Yup we did. I always washed my hands thoroughly before touching the bread, but I couldn't vouch for the other boys.

Ron Burr

On F&T Sunday's we'd gorge ourselves on bread. And I felt not one wee bit of guilt about that either.

Ron Burr

Of course in southern (liquor stores closed on sundays) episcopal churches the parish drunks fight to clean up after communion for the responsibility of guzzling the left over communion wine from the chalice. Backwash and all.

A religion that offers sacraments to everyone is everyone's church.

Mormonism is a miscarriage of Christianity.

Did Jesus refuse to feed anybody?

Did he say YOU are better than you!

Was he a judge?

Mormonism has no clue what sacrament is. It is not a people's church. The bread and water is just that.

M@t

One of my friends brought some Christmas themed cookie cuttersshapes and cut some small Christmas trees/snowflakes/stocking shapes etc from a slice of bread and left these unbroken when blessing the bread.

There were few smiles from the congregation as the increment was livened up for once and even when the Bishop was informed later, he laughed and just told us not to do it again.