On my mission (Italy, 1969-1971) I was able to avoid the mission rule to own a bike through all but one city. When I got to Milan, my last city, I lived in a district of 6 missionaries, and I was the only one without a bike. But the Milanese were a bike-riding lot, and the city mostly flat, so I bought a bike and had at it. I ended up on a high note riding my Legnano all over town and really enjoying it.

The city had some huge-ass intersections/junctions, and one of them required you to hit the pedals as soon as the light changed and then high-tail it as fast as you could go to get across before all the lights went red and you got hit by some tram. The intersection was a cobbled junction of 5 or 6 different roads with corresponding tram tracks, bus lanes, speeding Alfas, etc. But one day I got to the other side and was down near the church "Santa Maria delle Grazie" (where Da Vinci's "Last Supper" is) before discovering that my comp was not there and nowhere to be seen. I turned around and went back and found him and other by-standers around his bike. He was obviously in a lot of pain. The pedestrian had been knocked silly and was being helped up from the ground.

(Insertion of unuseable, completely useless knowledge: My comp looked just like James Coburn, and the girls and women loved him.)

Turns out dear comp was humping it through the intersection, got to the other side probably going in excess of 30-35KPH, and a guy stepped out in front of him. My comp's last words to the pedestrian were apparently (by his own report), "Watch out, you mothaaaaahhh!!" He hit the brakes and then hit the man, flew in the air, and came down on the handle bar post right onto his Bulbous Crotch Region, but not his testicles. In fact, he came down on "it." You know,... His "thing." His "deal," as we safely called it back then.

When he felt he could make it back home, we slowly pedaled back. He took some aspirin and put a bag of frozen veg or something on it, and we took the day off. The next day he wanted to show me the damage. I protested, but he insisted. My brain is now scarred somewhat and I can't get the image out of my head. I really feared for him and wondered if he'd ever be able to get married and have kids. I suppose if I were to say "red and blue bratwurst leaking blood," ye might also become the proper receptacles of the vision. Did we go to the doctor as we should have? No. Goddammit, faith in Jebus was our weapon! Even for all things penile.

EPILOGUE: Great news!! He healed up and now is an old man like me with grand kids. See how the Lord protects missionaries? I know the church is true. I leave this with you in the Holy Name of Cheese and Rice.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/25/2014 11:47AM by cludgie.

Wow Cludgie! You chose this of all days to post this anecdote.Coincidences abound.

On a Christmas afternoon last century, I was doing my stint in Emergency as a lowly intern.The triage nurse's diagnosis for my next patient was ,to say the least- not well clarified.

When I asked the gentlemen the reason for his attendance he flung back the covering sheet to display the sight you so graphically described. I sought to establish the mechanism of this major injury."I was giving my wife an extra Christmas present."

The urologist on call,attended with his Christmas guest, a visiting urologist who happened to be a gorgeous Swedish female, adding somewhat to the poor man's discomfort.They took him to theatre and attended to the haemorrhage,successfully restoring his potency ,which was seriously threatened.

Your comp was VERY fortunate. Must have been the garmies.

I shouldn't want a wife who was built such as to cause injury like that.

I half way regret reading that story.

So what did you guys do with the bag of frozen vegetables?

JosephWantsU4APlaything Wrote:
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> So what did you guys do with the bag of frozen
> vegetables?


Probably ate them along with the red and blue bratwurst. Sorry cludgie, just trading favors for favors. I'm sad to say that we now probably all have images in our head.

BTW, I came here for the bike part, not the missionary part... well, maybe the crotch region had something to do with it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/25/2014 04:00PM by moremany.

cludgie Wrote:
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> He hit the brakes
> and then hit the man, flew in the air, and came
> down on the handle bar post right onto his Bulbous
> Crotch Region, but not his testicles. In fact, he
> came down on "it." You know,... His "thing." His
> "deal," as we safely called it back then.

Yes, Peter was crucified upside-down.

That was a big deal.

Pics or it never happened... :-))