Posted by:
Breeze
(
)
Date: December 28, 2014 06:03AM
I sympathize with you.
Shunning is awful--but not even close to how awful it was being a Mormon slave. Rejection by all your Mormon friends at once can be crazy-making. You think something might be wrong with you. Also, you feel intensely lonely--even though you have plenty of non-Mormon friends and family who love you.
You have gained valuable insights about your own victimization. Now that you can identify manipulators, you will be less likely to be manipulated. Try not to be afraid of making new friends. Not all groups are as nasty as the Mormons.
Instead of giving money to charities, do hands-on in person charity work. You will meet the nicest people on the planet, while you are helping others. I especially have enjoyed volunteering in the schools. You probably have your own favorite charities, already.
As for friends--stop judging them! Mormonism has taught you to judge others, and this is just one of many Mormon traits you will have to get rid of. If you enjoy their company, it is OK to pay. If your friends cross the boundary, and ask for money, or order the most expensive items on the menu, or want you to take them on trips, then you can start to question their motives. Personally, if I don't like someone, no amount of money will buy my friendship.
Get rid of the Mormon idea that a person's worth is measured by their popularity. This is the old "every-member-a-missionary" mindset. The more friends a Mormon can convert, the more valuable that person is as a human being and as a cult member.
Mormons also give you a false idea that friendships can be "instant." In the real world, bonding takes time, so be patient. I'm very skeptical of people who become too close too quickly. I always suspect they're trying to sell me something.
Having money can be problematic. Maybe you need to forget about money, and just enjoy what you friends give back to you in time, attention, conversation, listening, playing, laughing, making the world brighter. Mormon "friends" were never able to do that for me.