Oh yes the fear is real! And it's so stupid, but that's a result of indoctrination and brainwashing for sooooo long. Plus TBMs definitely treat us a certain way if they were to see that stuff in our shopping carts and that doesn't feel good.
It's real for me cause I live in the same town as my TBM parents and a TBM sibling and therefore shop at the same stores. I have not resigned yet, so I'm even 'supposed' to be in their ward. And somehow everyone in their Ward knows me and of my 'status'. So yes, I have that anxiety about what someone might see me buying, but I am really trying to get over it (not easy). Otherwise I just do my shopping on a Sunday when I know I won't run into any of them. :-)
LOL,yes, just yesterday on my way home from work. I was in the store and had a bottle of wine (bad day) and coffee. Who comes around the corner but the RS President. I have not been to church in a year and even though she lives 1 block away, I have not seen her for the same amount of time. We said niceties and she told me how good I looked and rested. She then talked about how tired she was and the ward issues. She kept looking at my cart. I then took the coffee and wine and put them on top of everything as her eyes got big.. I said it is all right. Ever since I left, I have been less tired, more healthy, and financially blessed. I told her I pay over 10% of my income to community projects and volunteer on a regular basis. Life is good. I invited her to come by and walked away. I heard her mind explode. I an sooo glad I am out. I gave them way too much control.
When I first started to turn away, yes I worried that someone might see the ice tea or beer in my shopping cart so I would drive across town for those purchases. I have often times encountered ward members at the store and was even felt up by a Stake Counselor to see if I was wearing my magic undies.
Now, I don't give a rat's ass anymore and beer is the first thing that goes into my cart. I sometimes hope I see an old wardie so I can show off my status of being a sinner.
Time has a way of erasing the guilt that used to control my actions and thoughts.
sunbeep Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > and was even felt up by > a Stake Counselor to see if I was wearing my magic > undies.
do these fuckers know no shame? Gawd help me...that just pisses me right off! I can't wait until some TBM from tscc tries to pat me on the shoulder and/or back trying to feel for the presence/absence of jeezus jammies. That is not going to end well for them...
I was at a restaurant the other day w/ my wife. We both had alcoholic beverages at the beginning of our meal. When low and behold our former SP and another venerable Mormon couple sat diagonally to us. They would not have sat there had they known we were there, but my wife was in the bathroom when they were seated, and my back was to them. When she came back, they all recognized her. Those two couples didn't say a word to each other their entire meal...only very hushed whispers. I am an apostate, and they view me as the devil himself. I ruined their get together, and for that I am so grateful to Jesus for directing them to my path. I drank a few, and then I asked for coffee really loud. I said, "Ummm um..that coffee is so good, do you guys brew your own? Love it." The couples left early and exited quickly. Bwhahahahahaha. I bear testimony of the power of the apostate in touching the lives of Mormons. Power in the apostate.
I seriously do not care if they see coffee, beer or what ever in my shopping cart because I am not a Mormon and there is nothing wrong with having those things. Besides, I have always taken some pleasure in shocking people in that way.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/08/2016 04:23PM by bona dea.
I've got to admit, when we first left and I was buying beer down the street, the fear is real. I told myself over and over that I didn't care if people saw me, but when my home teacher walked in and saw me walking out with a case of beer I almost had a panic attack.
It really does fade over time though. Last time I was in th egrocery store with a case of beer in my cart a mormon neighbor came up and started talking to me, he kept his eyes away form the cart after seeing it but I could tell he was super uncomfortable. I was all good though.
I remember buying condoms for the first time. lol That was a trip. I felt like I darted in and out as quick as possible trying to remain undetected. I think I even hummed my own spy thriller music in my head.
I no longer feel the shame and guilt for buying what I want. I drink tea in front of TBM's all the time. In fact I feel no shame in it at all. Or any action.
To combat this, I always notice a moron before they novice me, and drop some no-nose type cramp in their style-cast/ cart/ buggy: rubbers, alcohol, health food, etc... just to stave off any useless discussions or queries.
It makes them - not me - paranoid!
Some now are rumoured to use shipping/shopping channels, delivery services and grow their own gardens.
I don't live close enough to the Morridor for that to be of any concern to me.
Maybe you could stare back at what's in their cart? Or just not give a hoot. I didn't feel like anyone was overly concerned with my shopping preferences when in Mormon country on vacation.
It may be a case of paranoia, over just exercising common sense.
Amyjo Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Maybe you could stare back at what's in their > cart? Or just not give a hoot.
I typically go with the second option, but the first one does present the opportunity for some fun. Such as:
"Oh, I see you have pork chops, hamburger, and pot roast. I guess that whole "only eat meat sparingly in times of winter" thing from the WoW doesn't matter to you, huh?"
I felt that fear quite a bit at first, and I still feel a tinge of it now and again. I once did something intentionally to help myself get over it.
Soon after I stopped believing and resigned 8 years ago I was at a dinner meeting for my work. There were about 25 people in the room, including some Mormons who were my friends back then, and they still are friends to this day. Drinks were being served, and the person sitting next to me was having a beer. I thought for a moment how I wouldn’t mind having a beer myself, but I quickly dismissed the thought because of who else was in the room. At that moment I saw how much power the religion had over me. It was difficult and uncomfortable, but I ordered a beer and set it right out in front of me. I only drank a portion of it, and I felt awkward the whole time, but I also felt a sense of personal victory.
Would I recommend this to others? Not necessarily. It is just what I felt I needed to do at the time to help with my recovery.
I once (drunk-)shopped one late evening in Provo. It was fine until my cart (pulling) bumped into a pyramid of (stacked too high) 2 litre soda, causing one off to fall from the stack and spew. OOPS
Everything was fine, again, until exiting the store. Again, pulling the cart, I got through the opening doors but my cart didn't quite make it (it is wider!). The buggy knocked the glass door off it's tracks and began the process to cause a big crash! The manager was entering the store and caught the door. I said 'thanks', thinking WOW! (That Was Fun) Wsheww.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/08/2016 08:04PM by moremany.
I never cared what any Mormons might have thought about what I was buying. Shortly after I had resigned, I did see someone I recognized from RS, and when she saw I was buying coffee, she grabbed her children and walked fast in the opposite direction so the evil apostate wouldn't corrupt them. I personally thought it was hilarious, as I finished my shopping trip.
Now, there is a missionary apartment in the neighborhood, so sometimes I see them shopping on their P-day at the Trader Joe's in the area, and there have been times when I was buying wine. I didn't care if they even noticed, since to them, I'm just a non-Mormon out shopping.
The whole point is that we should all look out for our overall health and well being. The LDS obsession with the WoW, I truly believe, interferes with members taking their overall health into their own hands. Like if they don't drink or smoke, then they think they are healthy.
When i quit the garments, and needed to buy undies, I was looking over my shoulder the whole time, hoping not to see one of my neighbors. It felt ridiculous!
I never had a problem with this, even when I was TBM if I was doing shopping for somebody else and had tea/coffee or whatever in the cart, I'd secretly hope I'd see someone from church in the supermarket......when I did it was so funny to see the look on their face....and of course I never said I was shopping for a neighbour, I'd just carry on chatting as normal. Lol
Friends of my ex wife and I had a child who attended a school at a fundamentalist Baptist church... they had a talk with the principal about being seen in grocery store with beer in the buggy(shopping cart for non-Southerners). They pulled kid out of that school and sent him to Catholic school, where the PTA fund raiser is a keg at the Church/School fair :)
This reminds me of a couple jokes
How do you tell the difference between an Episcopalian and a Baptist( or Mormon)....The Episcopalian will talk to you in the liquor store.
Episcopalians.. wherever 2 or 3 are gathered there is also a fifth
When I first left the church, the RSP worked in the Bakery at Costco.
Every time I was there she would come over and walk up and down the aisles with me as I shopped. It was extremely annoying. She most certainly was monitoring what was going in my cart. It's amazing what your grocery cart can say about you.
I decided I didn't care what she thought about my purchases. I wasn't going to drive extra miles to another Costco, and I wasn't going to hide anything.
I bought a case of wine, a huge bag of coffee, some underwear for hubby, one of those giant bottles of Grey Goose Vodka, and all the usual things. She had a look on her face that was priceless. I gave no explanations for anything I bought. I figured if she was going to be so nosey i'd give her something that was interesting to talk about at PEC meeting the next day. I'm pretty sure they've all decided that hubby and I have a BIG drinking problem.
She never walked through the grocery aisles with me after that. I guess she got her info.
Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 09/09/2016 11:59AM by madalice.