This isn't rational at all. Everything about me should want her to quit mormonism. She has been opening up little by little to the point of acknowledging there are serious problems and wanting to work out what that means for her faith/testimony. She has said she wants to read some of the information I have referred her to, although she hasn't done so yet.

She just might catch on to what mo'ism is all about and I'm scared. Why?

I'm not expecting anyone to know anything about the inner workings of my psyche. Just putting it out there.

Has anyone else felt this way?

You might feel threatened about how she will change and if your relationship will break down without the church to prop it up and keep it from changing in uncomfortable ways.

You're afraid she'll want out of the marriage too. That she'll want to go explore the world without Mormonism and leave you behind. Did that thought cross your mind when you learned the truth?

It's a completely rational fear. And you should talk to your wife about it. Being open and honest is the only way to go if you want to grow your relationship into a new space where Mormonism isn't.

This was my fear when I realized the church was false and then when my husband finally left. I worried the church was the only thing that bound us. What a silly fear, we are closer than ever. But I think it is a rational worry and I think you need to communicate about this worry of yours. When I came clean to my husband about my fears he was able to reassure me that his love for me was deep.

A neverMo's humble input.

Maybe in part it's the thought of total freedom from the church that scares you. You've mentally distanced, but if DW finds truth as well, that's going to be a huge life change if she chooses to leave.

So far this has been your own personal journey. Maybe you feel some anxiety about having to have all the answers for your DW.

Maybe some concern is knowing she'll go through what you went through, or worse, and you don't know how to protect her from those hurts.

As you said we can't know your psyche, but I'm just putting this out there.

Never had that fear myself. My marriage was WORSE because of Mormonism. We talked divorce often but the religious fear we had kept us together. A marriage based in fear of the after life is not a good marriage.

So you would think without the foundation of religion keeping us together we would quickly divorce after she came to the realization Mormonism is a sham like I did?

WRONG!

We've never been happier or stronger in our marriage since we left Mormonism. :)

Don't give too much air-play to your worry; as others said, talk to her.

I had that fear for about two days. I wish it would come back!

Seriously, though - for me, fear came from wondering if maybe my husband would be even more angry by it all than I was. Maybe I could see the truth because I was strong enough to take it. Maybe he would feel terrible about himself and maybe that would lead to a depression that would be unbearably hard for him and us and our kids. I think that was my fear. But like I said, it didn't last long. Unfortunately, he's feeling more reassured than ever of the correctness of the path in the church.

My condolences.

I've thought this way to some extent...mostly because my wife is a very social person, but almost all of her social interaction comes from church activity. I'm afraid she'd get extremely depressed if she couldn't replace that interaction elsewhere. I still wish that she'd accept that it's all bullshit, stop teaching our kids bullshit, stop praying f*($ing 10 times a day and claiming any random thought that pops into her head as revelation, stop wasting time on callings, etc...

I don't understand why you people can't separate TSCC from God, and faith, and prayer, and love, and family. TSCC does not own these things; in fact TSCC proved to be in direct opposition to these things.

Chump's wive could still pray. Jefecito's wife doesn't need to convert directly to Atheism. Leaving the cult was such a shock to me, that I decided to keep my faith in God and Christ, for a while, until I digested all that information about Joseph Smith's multiple crimes. One step at a time. Don't bite off more than you can chew.

Joseph Smith and the Mormons blaspheme Christ, saying that JS will be on His right hand at the Judgment, that JS is as great as Christ, that Christ and God are polygamists, that "unconditional love is anti-Christ," and so on. Mormons believe that God was once just like them. They believe they will become Gods someday. If that isn't blasphemy, I don't know what is.

Just focus on Joseph Smith's lies. This is a tiny but very loud and obnoxious cult you are dealing with. Tiny! Less than 1% of the population! God and Christianity are completely different issues. In most Christian churches, it doesn't matter if both spouses agree or not, or if your attendance drops, or even if you leave. Right now, your wife is struggling to break free.

You hate facing the shunning, and her reaction to the shunning. I don't blame you. It is awful. But staying in the cult is 100% worse. You will become closer than ever--and happier than ever!

Once we got the church out of the middle of our marriage, it got better.

WE got to make all of our own decisions about our relationship. Our idea of a night out is relaxing and fun. Their idea of a night out was a temple session. Sitting across the room from each other in weird outfits did nothing for our marriage.

Any change can be scary. I would try to pinpoint exactly what your worries are and share them with your wife.

Probably just uncertainty. Right now, you know what she believes and how she is likely to behave. If that goes away, you have no way of knowing what she is going to replace it with. There is a full range of possibilities, with no real way of predicting an outcome.