I've noticed that as many of us unpack Mormonism and make a transition out, the 'should I resign' discussion comes up all the time.

Here's the reality:

1) The church is not true. Resigning sends a clear message that you stand with reality. It also sends a clear message that you refuse to be associated with a fraudulent, racist, sexist, homophobic, lying cult. You are better off!

2) But, WHAT IF? What if I come to discover that the church is true? Spoiler alert*** The church is NOT true yesterday, today, and forever. This is a fact, based upon original sources. You may still have lingering doubts about your exit from TSCC. Well, I say DOUBT THOSE DOUBTS! You are better off!

3) If I resign, it will offend family and friends. Um, you no longer believing offended them. And if they remain TBM, that will never change. Resigning does not send a new message. At best, it makes the message crystal clear. You are better off!

4) Let's say you decide to resign and then, for whatever reason, you want to climb back into the fraudulent box of the Morg and rededicate your life as a Morgbot. You will be hailed as a 'Prodigal' who has returned! EVERYONE will HAPPILY welcome you back into the 'fold' with open arms. A re-baptism will bring joy to all! They will love you more and you will be doing Firesides and hailed as a hero among TBMs. See, you are better off!

If you do not resign, you are not better off.

Just some of my thoughts today.

What do you all think?

Have you resigned?

exodus Wrote:
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> Have you resigned?

The sad thing is, no, I have not... I want to so bad.

If you have read any of my posts, you may gather that I am closely related to a very high up GA. This has complicated it for me for reasons that if I get into, will disclose my identity and that would not be good right now.

If I was in any other situation, I would have resigned years ago.

I'm with you... I don't have "Mormon royalty" in my lines, but my family and friendships would suffer if I resigned right now (#3 on your list). I think that although people know that I'm "out", they may still have hopes to bring me back. I do plan to resign within the next 5-6 years though. I figure the dust will be settled by then.

Although not resigned, are you public with your family? With your high-up GA relative? Just curious if you don't mind sharing...

exodus Wrote:
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> I'm with you... I don't have "Mormon royalty" in
> my lines, but my family and friendships would
> suffer if I resigned right now (#3 on your list).
> I think that although people know that I'm "out",
> they may still have hopes to bring me back. I do
> plan to resign within the next 5-6 years though.
> I figure the dust will be settled by then.
>
> Although not resigned, are you public with your
> family? With your high-up GA relative? Just
> curious if you don't mind sharing...


Yeah, I understand. Unfortunately, it's never as simple as my silly list in the OP.

Yes, I'm public with all of my closest family and friends. And the 'high-up GA' talked with me regularly about my disaffection, at first. But, now, he is just trying to make sure I never become a 'public liability' to him and TSCC...

> Yes, I'm public with all of my closest family and
> friends. And the 'high-up GA' talked with me
> regularly about my disaffection, at first. But,
> now, he is just trying to make sure I never become
> a 'public liability' to him and TSCC...

Cool... do what is right for your family, which is what it sounds like you're doing. It would be interesting for you to go public though :).

exodus Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> > Yes, I'm public with all of my closest family
> and
> > friends. And the 'high-up GA' talked with me
> > regularly about my disaffection, at first.
> But,
> > now, he is just trying to make sure I never
> become
> > a 'public liability' to him and TSCC...
>
> Cool... do what is right for your family, which is
> what it sounds like you're doing. It would be
> interesting for you to go public though :).

Thanks! I'm not sure how interesting it would be. But, in all honesty, I'm waiting for a future time when it would damage TSCC. Maybe it's silly of me, but, I want to hurt them as hard as I can. (The church, not my family and friends) TSCC hurt me badly.

I will tell you this. There is a high probability that this close family member of mine will be The President of LD$ inc., in my lifetime. That would be the time for me to make a loud exit!

For what it is worth, you have my full support. I'd love for the lid to be blown off of TSCC in my lifetime - which I think is feasible as I've got several more decades in me (hopefully at least :)).

exodus Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> For what it is worth, you have my full support.
> I'd love for the lid to be blown off of TSCC in my
> lifetime - which I think is feasible as I've got
> several more decades in me (hopefully at least
> :)).


Thank you! I agree! As an exMo who is part of current 'Mormon royalty' and ancestors who go back to Joseph Smith, I would love to see TSCC fail. I'm in my early 30s, so I have time to see it fail. Oh how I want it to! Until then, at least we have RfM to vent on!

Maybe someday I'll resign, but for now I just can't be bothered. Besides, if I resigned, I couldn't fantasize about all the fun ways to get exed.

Please, you will never get excommunicated.
It took YEARS for them to get around to excommunicating Kate Kelly. Someone who had been in NATIONWIDE read articles multiple times over a year. Who are you?? What are you doing to get excomunicated? You're doing nothing to warrant excommunication.They don't care about you man. just resign.

Actually, I'd assume that there is a publicity line which, when crossed, makes it harder for them to ex you. It's SO public, SO much attention... bad attention, since you would make more sense than they do... that they sort of mumble and bumble for a while before talking themselves into it.

So you could get exed if you would be, say, an example for the ward or something. They're thinking, "to keep him on the rolls to make numbers look good or ex him to keep others in line? eenie-meenie-miney-mo..."
Maybe I'm off on this but... Anyway have fun.

I have written my letter! Sending it this week.

When you do, please, announce it on a new thread so we can celebrate with you.

Okay, I will. :) It will be nice to feel the support because I won't be getting it anywhere else.

Awesome !! congrats !

The good news is, if you go back, you'll be red flagged for those top jobs! It's a wonderful thing.

You'll never ever have to worry about being president of anything. You'll most certainly never be a bishop. You'll never be seen as quite as good as everyone else. It's a great thing. You'll have more time and less guilt then you ever did the first time around.

I would say your assessment is generally correct. If you have ever rocked the boat in any sort of meaningful way, at minimum you will always be viewed with suspicion, even when deemed fully worthy once again.

However, a lot depends on how desperate a person's ward/branch is to fill callings - particularly if the person is a man who lives outside the Morridor where it can get particularly difficult to fill key ;eadership positions. So I wouldn't totally discount the possibility, however remote and unlikely it may appear...

One of BY's daughters was on the founding board of directors of the SL Unitarian Chuch back in the 1890s. SWK's oldest son, SHK, left Mormonism, and founded the Utah ACLU chapter, which probably gave ETB a stroke.

Don't let being related to a GA intimidate you. They're just guys who have to lie for a living. They are not magic.

I shan't resign, thus depriving my tbms daughter of the opportunity to dead-dunk me a year after I die.

But I have the benefit of enjoying visitors from la iglesia mormona, because I get a kick out of twisting their long-tailed testimonies.

My own thoughts. Your mileage WILL vary!

Resign. Later, a relative "dead dunks" you. You're considered a member. But, you're dead. Who cares? You certainly won't!

Don't resign. You're a member when you die. But, you're dead. Who cares? You certainly won't!

What matters is now, this life! After you're dead, it's moot. You make your statement now by resigning. There is nothing after death.

Okay, it's your turn to deal.

Lying for love, got it.

Resigning is about the person resigning, nobody else. If you do not resign in order to curry favor, those people have control over you. Letting others manipulate you makes you worse off.

I resigned a few years after discovering that resignation existed. At first, I was afraid of losing family. However, I've come to realise and accept that being mormon should not be a condition of familial love.

I basically decided that if my family was willing to dump me so easily, then perhaps it's for the best. I don't want to waste any more time making myself unhappy, just to please people who may not truly love me.

So far, things are strained but we're working on creating a better relationship.

There ARE benefits to NOT resigning.

I would strongly state the utter corruption and fraud of MORmON leaders. This would greatly offend my total @$$ hole MORmON male parent. He would tell me that I needed to go in and see the bishop and get ex communicated. Its impossible to say how insulting that really is in my family. If a person gets killed then they have *merely* lost their life. If they get ex commed then they have lost their soul, and even IF they get re instated they will be tainted for ever, they will be a second class citizen FOREVER! It severely irritated my male parent that there was no way to initiate some formal disciplinary action on me, as I made it very clear to him that I despised his foul POS MORmON cult religion. He was extremely peed off about the matter. Then he dropped dead, which was actually one the best things he ever did! I am certain that the aggravation that was caused by my retaining my membership while also having utter contempt for his beloved MORmON religion cut several years off of his foul miserable life.

I resigned in 2014
My father is a bishop in his current ward.
I know for a fact that my father would bring it up if he knew that I resigned. Tithing settlement has come and gone and he has not said a word.

Come on people. Resign. Your family will never know.

wouldn't jump through their hoops. After my daughter gave me a lecture on Christmas Eve 4 years ago, I decided to resign to draw a line in the sand that I WAS NEVER GOING BACK. My ex resigned with me. I've said before that my never mo boyfriend sent me all my e-mails where I said I'd never resign. He was concerned about how I would react emotionally.

One of the best things I ever did. It was as if a load had been lifted off my shoulders.

It is a personal decision for everyone.

P.S. Could someone post the link for the e-mail and the brief e-mail to resign? My son wants to resign.

I just remembered that my daughter has even stated that she gets a lot more mileage in Mormonism having a heathen family. She enjoys the notoriety.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/08/2015 10:18AM by cl2.

I went many years without resigning. I was pushed out of my family for criticizing false Mormon doctrine and history. You don't have to resign to be disinherited. Eventually I resigned anyway, because I despise Mormonism and wanted to make a statement. Mormonism does not stand with me. I repudiate it.

Don,it was your family's loss in disinheriting you. From what you have said on this site, you are better off without them. We are your family on RfM and we love you.

Your camaraderie is life-enhancing and humane. Despite my occasional rants and bluster, I am as weak and needy as anyone else in this mortal coil.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/08/2015 04:17PM by donbagley.

"There is a high probability that this close family member of mine will be The President of LD$ inc., in my lifetime."

General question for you, TWA:

Assuming that your relative is one of the 15 or 70, every single day that person is insulted, ridiculed, and mocked mercilessly here on RFM and elsewhere. No doubt I personally have done it any number of times.

How does this constant disrespect towards one of your close relatives make you feel? As one who has no familial connection at all to Mormon royalty, I can't imagine what that might be like.

Trust me, you don't want to try to belong in a group that marginalizes you, socially. That really undermines your self-esteem. Mormon society is based on popularity, and popularity is based on how many people you are able to convert, how high your callings are, how much money you have, how many false-friends you have, how many children you have around you, how often you sing, speak, perform, teach in front of a group, how much service you do.

If you resign, then return, that is worse than being a "convert."
Converts are never treated the same as BIC Mormons.
If you're divorced, you're marginalized.
If you are single
It you're a couple with no children, or only one child
If you're ethnic, dark skinned, and/or dark-eyed, you're marginalized.
If you're "poor" and unable to pay much tithing.
If you're sick and unable to fill a calling.
If you attend sacrament meeting only twice a month
If you don't go to the temple regularly.
If you ask questions in class, or challenge any "doctrine."

My list is getting too long, and it is sickening. Being marginalized, snubbed, abused, and shunned is NOT FUN--and that's what happens if you say or do anything contrary to the confining little Mormon stereotype. Who wants that?

Thewhyalumnus is right about one thing. The Mormons were offended by my questions and lack of faith, long before I resigned.

The Mormons never treated me as a "hero". Of course, I'm only a woman....

Once you leave, you never want to go back! I attended a of missionary homecoming. I was a stranger in the ward, and when I didn't take the sacrament, the Mormons next to me started questioning me during the sacrament. I said, "I thought we weren't supposed to talk."

I hate going to funerals and being preached at.

Just the feeling of the place, the mood of despair and hopelessness, and the smell gives me the creeps. Why would one ever go back?

thewhyalumnus Wrote:
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> If you do not resign, you are not better off.

If I resign I will crush my wife's hopes that in the afterlife I will see the light. Hope is a terrible thing to crush. If she chose LDS Inc. over me she would divorce me and crush my hopes she would ever see the light.