Refer to Mormon Stories website. Scroll down to requests for examples of Patriarchal abuse. Over 150 examples. One bishop demanded to know if a girl had an orgasm while being raped, in order to determine her punishment... Many bishops get off on any lurid details of normal dating...
I know of a bishop hugging/trying to kiss my strikingly beautiful young teen niece after her "worthiness interview." She soon became inactive.
I was asked a couple of times when I was a young adult. I wasn't ever asked when I was a minor. But that was in the 60s. I think it is more common to ask now.
ck Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > While I was asked many questions about my > sexuality that I now consider to be inappropriate, > I was never directly asked about masturbation.
ditto for my experiences with several different bishops
I was never a girl, nor do I play one on TV, but my TBM sister- in-law first learned about masturbation from being asked about it in a Youth Worthiness interview.
I was asked by my bishop from ages 14-18 (1992-1996), in rural Utah. In the years prior I was only asked about the law of Chastity, but we lived in CA at that time. For heaven's sake I was still playing with dolls at age 12. I made the bishop squirm a bit by saying, "I thought only boys could do that". He didn't want to explain it to me, just squirmed a bit and moved on. Big douche.
at the last training I attended in a leadership position, bishops were directed to only ask the law of chastity question. They were instructed not to dig or pry into actions.
from the age of 12 until at least 17. I was asked if I masturbated in every interview I had including dance card interviews (4 times a year), if we were doing baptisms for the dead, the 2 interviews a year for goals in mutual. This was in the 1960s to 1970s.
The bishop was my best friend's dad. He knew I didn't even date. My younger sister reminded me a few years ago that after we said "no" he would stare us down waiting for us to fess up. He also asked if I necked and petted. I didn't know what ANY of them were. I just knew they were wrong by how he asked.
The girls who dated, he asked more explicit questions. I wouldn't know this except my older sister and the other girls her age discussed it. I would NEVER have dared to discuss it with anyone but my sisters.
He was a disgusting old sick pervert who thought he was going far in the lds church and he would brag about how wonderful he was in church. He never went any further than bishop.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/08/2015 10:11AM by cl2.
I had no idea what that term meant. I had never heard it. I was not raised in the LDS faith, and it was not used, to my knowledge in the Christian faith I was part of for the first couple of decades of my life.
I was never asked those kinds of questions as a new member or at any other time either by anyone in the LDS Church. I was asked other inappropriate questions, which I shut down, or refused to deal with!
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/08/2015 01:35PM by SusieQ#1.
"Do you live the law of Chastity?" is a question on the temple recommend for youth.
Problem is, most 12 year old girls do not understand what is meant by this question, so that the interviewer then must explain - and of course those explanations allow him to probe for all sorts of details. Stupid cult.
I was questioned about masterbation twice by my bishop in 1981.
I was a new convert, 17 years old, and did not know this man at all! I had been called to have a meeting with him in his home office.
There I sat, alone with him in his home office and he instructed me not to use alcohol or drugs. Then he asked if I had sex, which I denied (I lied of course!). He then specifically brought up masterbation by saying to me, "Do you masterbate?" to which I answered "no", highly embarrassed that this middle aged stranger even broached that subject with me! All I remember from the meeting was that he reiterated that I "shouldn't get into the habit of masterbating".
I left feeling very confused, wondering how he knew, and feeling somewhat violated by this most inappropriate monologue (it wasn't a conversation because I was too shy to say anything other than yes or no, and he did all the talking anyway).
I was summoned to the Bishop's office a few months later, and again, he questioned me, "Do you masterbate?" (as if he had proof that I did) and he again ordered me to not "get into the habit of masterbating".
After the second bishop's meeting, I walked out, knowing I would NEVER return for questioning regarding my private sexual life and thoughts. The bishop violated my privacy and delved into an improper and unseemly area that he had no right to. I have to wonder, did the bishop get sexually aroused when he was asking those questions like that? I think he did. I would raise hell if any adult questioned my kids about sex and masterbating. Weird shit.
I recently told my BF this story, and he found it to be highly inappropriate for an adult male to question whether or not a 17 year old girl masterbates.
Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 01/26/2015 04:52AM by Pink Pilgrim.
As a teenage boy I was never asked the question. I was only asked if I was "being good". One bizarre bishop asked me if "I had a problem with animals". I couldn't even comprehend what that meant. I thought he meant how I got along with animals. I told him that I had an Irish Setter and that I felt like we got along ok. That seemed to befuddle him.
In a worthiness interview for baptisms for the dead, I was asked if I 'touched myself down there' by a bishop I barely knew, having just moved into the ward less than a year earlier. When I looked at him with what I'm sure was a deer-in-the-headlights expression he then helpfully pointed at his crotch to indicate what he meant by 'down there'.
This was in the early to mid 80s in a town north of SLC when I was around 14. I lied because I was afraid of getting in trouble in some way and hated myself for feeling like I had to lie. My already battered self-esteem and feelings of worthiness took a significant hit for lying to the so-called bishop.
Later on in high school, another bishop asked in another worthiness interview if I necked or petted which is at least as inappropriate and abusive. I also lied to him in order to protect my privacy and not become a ward pariah.
Incidentally, I was a bit nonplussed to see a response upthread from a poster who said they were never subjected to this type of child abuse...because they weren't raised in TSCC in the first place and were an adult convert. I admit I can't help but see their reply as a way to subtly minimize others' negative/painful experiences at the hands of TSCC, exonerate TSCC from meaningful responsibility, and dodge the condemnation of an undeniably abusive institutionalized practice by changing the subject to describe how strong and capable they were as an *adult* to stand up to inappropriate personal questions from fellow adult TBMs.
What does that have to say to the rest of us who actually were kids being raised and brainwashed in TSCC, and who were actually subjected to this institutionalized child abuse -- some of us repeatedly?
Thank you for addressing this subject. If I posted what I didn't know about sex here even into my 20s (when the bishop was instructing my gay boyfriend and I on how to get a guy turned on even if he is gay), people would be SHOCKED. I was extremely naïve.
I hadn't a clue what masturbation was. I just knew whatever the bishop was asking me about was bad.
It was my gay boyfriend who told me what masturbation was. Then the bishop assigned me to keep track of my boyfriend's masturbation habits as if we could get him to stop masturbating, we may be able to cure him of "gay."
What the bishops did to us was what I consider a form of sexual abuse. I do believe if my dad knew they were asking us this, he would have come unglued.