Posted by:
Alpiner
(
)
Date: January 11, 2015 02:36PM
From the last point to the first...
For your work relationships, maintain them as work relationships. Don't get offended if they talk about church, and don't try to preach to them. If anyone asks, state you left the church.
I work with a group of strong believers (including one current bishopric member and a former bishop). They're all good people. They all know I'm out of the church. I don't walk away or make faces if they talk about the church, no more than they do if I chat to a non-LDS coworker about wine or beer.
Do not publish a big announcement to your work colleagues. Keep things professional. For the most part, this is an overblown fear.
As far as relationships with people in the church, be honest without being confrontational. Tell them you had moral differences (or whatever the case may be) with early church leadership. Don't be intentionally vitriolic -- saying JS was a rampant sexual abuser and BY was a racist, while true, will not endear you to them.
Don't shun them. Also, don't cease communication and then wonder why nobody is talking to you. I chuckle a little bit when I read about people being 'shunned,' when all they've done is stopped communicating. In many of those cases, the person doing the 'shunning' doesn't even know if you want to be contacted (and people complain about being contacted, too -- can't have everything, I guess).
Maintain a relationship, I suppose, is how I'd put it. My wife and I have not attended in well over a year, but we still chat with the neighbors and get invites to the neighborhood events. Even some cookies at Christmas! That is, in large part, because we've made an effort to remain integrated at the level we wish with the community at large.
With your family, I have little advice to offer. My wife left about six months after I did. Her family remains TBM -- she's the 'black sheep' (the one out of seven kids to break away). Focus on your immediate family first, as that should be the priority.
You have to ensure that *they* are comfortable talking to you about your departure. See my top point about making unnecessarily vitriolic statements. You have to make your way of life attractive (ie, not embittered and angry) if you want them to join you. So to that end, give them a safe place to land, as it were, when they begin to question.
Hope this helps.