Dear Erisophia, I real your post about Wicca, etc. I personally still believe in my understanding of God, but that's just me. You must follow the path you wish! The biggest thing and biggest benefit you will find if you do NOT join the LDS scam is this:

You can focus on being AUTHENTICALLY You! Sorry for the caps, but there is real liberation and freedom in that. I am nearly 60, and in no way a wise old crone, but I have lived through a lot of stuff (as we all do by that age!) and when I tell you that the right and absolute *duty* to yourself to be who you really are will never happen in the Mormon church. Want to be disrespected and told what to do by the Priesthood Hierarchy and Relief Society puppets? Join the church.

Cheers to you for understanding so early that this church is a big fraud and makes so many people miserable. Run away now!

Thank you so much. I texted the elders and no reply, but the online sisters who were speaking to me replied and just asked if they could still call me tomorrow. I'm just going to ignore their call and hope they get the message.

Good job. I just wanted to add that you MUST keep this up. The tactic is sometimes to IGNORE your message. So you might want to prepare yourself to say NO twenty more times in a row. That is the important thing to remember, don't give in. They may continue to call you for awhile. It's OK to say no 20 times in a row if they ignore your subtle message. Don't let them wear you down if they continue to call and call and show up at your house. Keep saying no.

We are rooting for you!

Online sisters? There are now missionaries you can chat with online? I wish they had that when I was a missionary.

WTG, Erisophia!

Don't feel bad. Most of us have been stalked and pestered to death by the Mormons. They do not take "no" for an answer, unless you repeat the word "NO" at least 30 times! Maybe you could keep a chart, and put a star on it, each time you say "No." Mormons are relentless!

They will try to make you feel guilty and obligated to them. REAL friendships require no obligations. You don't have to agree to pay them 10% of your income for life. You don't even have to give them any reason or excuse. If you want, you could offer your friendship on YOUR terms, but I'm 99% sure that they will not be your true friends unless you join their cult.

It's plain and simple. They will not let you go nicely, or graciously, or politely. Mormonism is a CULT, that's why. Cults make it very, very hard to leave. Thank goodness you are merely investigating, and have not been baptized yet. It was worse for us who were born into the cult.

((hugs)) I hope you find real friends, soon. Are you in school? Could you make friends where you work? There are lots of places to volunteer, and meet people--places that are up-beat, that will appreciate your contribution, who will thank you, who will not put unreasonable physical and monetary demands on you, who will not give you a hard time if you don't attend every time they tell you to. Volunteer means volunteer of your own free choice.
You will feel a sense of relief, once you have told them "No". They may try to dodge you, and not give you the chance to say, "No", but e-mail and leave voice messages, if you must. Don't say, "I want to talk to you...." Say, "I don't want any contact with Mormonism. I will never join."

Breeze knows what she's talking about.

Seriously, many of us have had to screw up our courage and say no at least 30 times.

No exaggeration.

Once you've rid your life of Mormons you have a valuable skill forever after of ridding yourself of every annoying pushy person you'll ever meet.

It would be awesome if you let them see you putting the stickers on the chart as you said no.... :)

What's the difference between a pit bull and a Morg Mishie?

A pit bull eventually lets go.

Another bit of advice I can give you, being a reformed people pleaser my own self, is …resist the urge to explain yourself. DON’T give them any explanations.

That opens a door for them to tell you why you don’t have to worry …this … and you don’t have to worry …that …

I got myself in no end of trouble rationalizing why to people when asked …why? Just say no, thank you. Then next time …no thank you again.

Rinse, lather, repeat …as much as necessary. Less is more.

You can do it!

When I was investigating commencing August 2005, I was told how

Awesome I am
Amazing I am
A privilege to know
How I was the reason/purpose for her mission (said by deluded recruit missionary of middle age).

I would get the most incredible welcome at the entrance to the chapel,a pat on the back, handshake from the Ward Missionary each week I turned up.

I was even told how handsome I am. lol

I mean the whole thing really was over the top.

So around 6-8 months in and I show a few Black Investigators the Negreoes Less valiant stuff and the Book of Mormon colour changing Lamanites verses and suddenly the Ward Missionary welcomes come to an end and instead he gives me a Kicking against the Pricks sermon and then seem to ignore me! lol

The Love bombing really is so fake and though I saw other potential recruits being blatantly falsely friendshipped for recruitment, I didn't realise the extent to how it was similarly being done to me to include someone who I thought was a genuine friend and not just a love bomber. Turns out she was worser and more fake than the others.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/13/2015 02:45PM by Zeezromp.

I wish I had seen this post before posting myself. I am in the same boat, but I was somehow made an investigator even though I never agreed to it. The pushiness has begun and I am ready to get them away from my door and life.

I would just like to repeat the excellent advice given by torturednevermo,i.e. resist the urge to explain anything. They are trying to force their way into your life and you owe them exactly NOTHING.
Don't give them a chance to exploit your natural desire to explain yourself, for exploit it they surely will

Sometimes it helps to have a thorough explanation of things so… :)~

My advice on why to avoid some conversations - (from a reformed people-pleaser). Also known as ‘don’t explain yourself’.

I have found ‘explaining thyself’ to be the most dysfunctional mistake a ‘people-pleaser’ can make. Both examples below fail because of an intrinsic lack of self -esteem residing in the people-pleasing individual. People-pleasing is a self-esteem issue. We place too much value on wanting other people to like or approve of us.

1.

Sometimes we explain our truthful reason for not wanting to do something. If the other person is an effective debater, you risk having your position out argued. Now you have allowed yourself to be argued out of your truth (rightly OR wrongly), and you feel kind of stupid after (you hate that feeling), so away you go with them to be baptised. A simple no avoids this risk.

2.

Sometimes we make up excuses thinking that this will work. I need to walk the dog, or the car has no gas, or I am busy right now. However, then the person just offers to help you walk the dog, give you a ride, or offers to do this all at another time …and they have eliminated your excuse. Now, if you insist ‘no’, you are exposed as a liar who was just making excuses. You can’t have that, because you have low self-esteem and need approval from others. So, now you say yes to avoid being exposed as a liar, and off you go to get baptised. A simple no avoids this risk.



These are some examples of why a people pleaser doesn’t explain her or his self, or make excuses …because it usually just ends up in an epic fail. Other people can use the above techniques with various degrees of success, but not a people-pleaser. You have to keep it uncomplicated with a simple ‘no’, and leave it at that. Anything else is a disaster. You don’t ever have to give someone a reason for saying no …other than (if you really must) that you don’t want to. (Why …I don’t want to …but why …cause I don’t want to …but I don’t understand why …because I said I don’t want to.) Even simpler is to just say no, and excuse your self and shut the door …or leave.

People –pleasing is a self-esteem thing. Sometimes it can be so acute that even without excuses or explanations or no’s, a person can just be commanded to do things by another persuasive person. In these extreme cases, then you need to hide under the bed when they come. Don’t even answer the door, or the phone. Otherwise you will become a Mormon.

I hope this helps understand why you don’t explain yourself. Best wishes, you can do this. My heart goes out to people-pleasers everywhere.

Erisophia - if they are calling/texting your cell phone, you should be able to set it to auto-reject their calls.