I've recently left the church on my own accord. I had been questioning my faith for some time for a variety of reasons. I decided to do some personal research about JS and the foundation of the church. I was very disappointed in my findings. Like many, I came to the realization that I no longer had a testimony and decided to resign. I'm at peace and happy with my decision.My family is very supportive. However, I am also working for the church and must hold a current temple recommend to continue working. I have had a few meetings with my former bishop and he knows where I stand and has been very gracious. He has also been contacted by the church to inquire about my current standing to maintain employment. I realize that I must find new employment and have been exploring my options. But, I kind of feel overwhelmed as the life that I've known for so long is crumbling before me. I feel like a pretender at my employment, but don't want to disclose my true beliefs. I would like to find new employment and move on. My former bishop counseled me to tell my employer before he has to report it to headquarters and they learn about my defection from him. However, I fear that the repercussions could be swift. Just looking for some feedback as I navigate through this tricky situation. Thanks!

the way you have sought truth. Very much admire you. Has not been easy for you, I'm sure, but you have been scholastically honest with yourself. Now you must face the next step.....separation from Church employment. Kind of sucks, but not your fault....

I can easily imagine that tscc is concerned, and they Don't want 'non-believers' along their ride.

I suggest U have a chat with Ms Tanner of ULHM (if you're close to SLC), she might have some ideas.

I also guess that tscc has many church-specific tasks & employees, and using those skills probably a HUGE challenge...

Best of Luck from ALL OF US!

p.s.: We hope it's worth it for You to 'be yourself', no matter the externals...

Thanks for your encouraging words. It is definitely worth being true to myself. It feels toxic if you're living something you know not to be true. That is why I need to move on.

I'm thinking of Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs." You have deficiency needs of shelter, food, and safety that have to be met. They are under threat by an evil corporation that would rather hurt people than accept honest disbelief. When these needs are met, you'll be able to fully explore your being needs. It's interesting how the church plays on your legitimate needs to instill discomfort and depression.

The overwhelming you feel is natural. How fucked up is it that a religious organization would fire you for not conforming to their faith litmus test? Do they seriously think that everyone who has a TR has a testimony and follows Mormonism's bizarre commands?

I wish you the very best with the job search. Hopefully, you'll be able to soon tell the church where they can shove your temple recommend. The Boner.

Thank you. I am looking forward to starting fresh doing something else.

Quietly go about your business of finding another more suitable job and get out as soon as you can.

Don't trust the bish or anyone on the job.

That has been my "gut" feeling ever since I knew I no longer had a testimony and would have to find alternate employment. I've worked in the organization for over 14 years. I know how certain people react to dissenters and others who have different beliefs. I have seen it first-hand.

I'm not American, but I would have thought that if they fire the OP, it would be a clear-cut case of discrimination on religious grounds. It certainly would be in France where I live.

Why not in the US?

Tom in Paris

Tom, in the normal working world yes, but the church has exceptions. I could even tell you the specific paragraphs in the contract, but I have all my papers in the basement; it has something to do with the church being an "ideological employer" - I don't remember the exact wording - and thus for the particular nature and purpose of the job, the church - or the legal entity representing the church in a given country - has the right hire only members with a TR and has the right to terminate them if they lose it and are unable to regain it within an agreed time (I knew of some cases, while I was working there).

Is this true in Europe?

Consider, he falls and hits his head and after no longer believes. He argues the fall did something and it is a disability. Could the church get rid of an employee that disbelieved on grounds of disability?

My case in point is the chap in history that whilst mining put and tamping spike through his head and it drastically altered his character through a brain injury. Under such circumstance he has a disability, surely that overrides the contract?

Just testing the boundaries.

lostboy, how I understand your situation! I also lost my testimony (if I ever had a real one) while working for the church (not at COB in SLC). But for fear, lack of self-confidence and need to support my family (spouse was often unemployed or not well paid) I faked as much as possible to keep the job for years! I felt so bad!

I did my job well and was appreciated by my superiors, but it drove me sick and totally messed up my wellbeing and damaged the relationship with my spouse who is TBM. Eventually the work relationship was rescinded by mutual consent. But things would have been much much better had I looked for a new job right away, in spite of the difficulties.

So my advice is: look for a new job IMMEDIATELY. You cannot keep the job without a TR, it is in the contract.

I don't know if you have to support a family, if you are in your own country or if you moved somewhere else to work for the church (I did), what your position is and if with your skills you can find another job in the "normal" world. It might be difficult to find a new job if you have the church in your CV, I think it is a problem in my case. So don't fake it any longer, it will only make you depressed, and as you get older, it will get even harder to get a new job. Better now than later.

I hope you have strength, self-confidence and good skill. I wish you good luck. Just don't do as I did!

You did this in a country with hefty employee protection rights, where the LDS church has often been forced to allow the non believers to keep their jobs, and people were not fired for no longer believing. Could you not have stayed? Or was it just too stressful?

Yes. Of course I signed a non-disclosure so I actually cannot say much. Spouse thinks I deserved it, because I was barely active. I keep repeating that my job kept us afloat when we had difficult times with spouse's job. Was I dishonest? In a way yes, I know. But I always did my duty at work, and was never threatened with termination because of my minimal church attendance. Were they nice with me for some reasons?!? I don't know, my "sin" was probably not so bad. Employees who have been unfaithful to their spouses, for example, have been terminated less mercifully. But it is true they couldn't simply fire me. It happened during one of the many consolidations, many positions were cancelled and eventually we came to an agreement to mutually rescind the contract.

I have lost a lot. After many years I had a good pay for my position, enough annual leave and a certain flexibility in working hours. The job per se was good, our team was great, I wouldn't have wanted to work in any other department, we were the best, but it was the church I couldn't stand anymore. For a long time I went to work with stomach pains.

On the other end, though some challenges have increased and I can forget to find another job at that same level, it has been an enormous release. Not completely out, because of TBM spouse, but no more churh meetings, no more garments, no more dress code, and finally honest again.

Thank you so much for the advice. I sincerely appreciate it. Thanks for sharing your experience. I am feeling many of the feelings that you've mentioned. It's toxic for me. I am usually very positive and high-energy, but this is beginning to wear on me in a variety of ways.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/02/2017 01:05PM by lostboy.

I wouldn't tell your employer anything. Just keep on with the job hunt so that you have something in place when things go south at work. Good luck to you.

Thank you very much. I appreciate the advice

Thanks for the advice. That is my plan. In speaking with my former bishop, I started having second thoughts thinking it might work out to my benefit if there is some empathy and being able to use people as professional references. But, once I "come out" with this news, I may be looked at as a sickness that needs to be "cured" immediately. My manager has been working with me during my entire career with the church. I feel we're really close. But, I don't know for sure how he would react to this news. More importantly, how would his up-line react?

There's lots of jobs out there, especially pink collar. If your in Utah it's a "right to work state", meaning, without being too crass, they can fire you at any time for no reason. There are no unions. So welcome to the world of the underemployed. I've spent years there and it can be very depressing if your think your more qualified than opening boxes at Target.

You'll have those cherished experiences of getting called into the office and told your getting a 25 cent raise above minimum wage (if you work really really hard for a year, and wear your "flair" of course) and the boss looking at you confused as to why your not jumping up and down with glee, lol!

But if your stress level is high and your getting coached near everyday, you aren't getting paid enough and can find more money, then yes it's time to leave the COB. But otherwise why disrupt things? The world is hard and it could get much worse.

We all admire your choice. It might be difficult, considering Utah. Will you be required to sign a non-disclosure? We might want to pump you for questions.

When I worked at the COB, I didn't need a TR, but then I was a teenager fresh out of high school. Several posters here have given the best advice and that is to lay low and look for other work. I agree it can be worse,so you need to carefully weigh your options.

a different employer is in your future.

I've often wondered about those who work in Confidential Records, and what instructions they're given for reading people's resignation letters.

They must have machines equipped with optical character readers, and other robots that stuff envelopes with our discharge papers. Real humans wouldn't last.

Employers are not allowed to discriminate based on religious belief (or lack thereof). Unfortunately, churches have been exempted from that requirement (for no good legal reason, of course). That includes the LDS church as an employer. It can not hire you if you're not a TR-holding member, it can fire you if you're not a TR-holding member.

So, yeah...intensely look for other work, and even though I decry dishonesty, don't tell them you no longer believe. Because doing so would almost guarantee you won't get a decent referral from them, and might seriously hurt your chances of getting ANY job in Utah if any mormons are involved in the hiring decisions.

And good luck.

http://churchlawgroup.com/resources/blog/religious-discrimination-can-a-church-hirefire-someone-based-on-religious-beliefs/

My ex-wife thought it would be "fantastic" if I were employed by the Church. She was constantly trolling the LDS Employment website hoping for my (her?) dream job.

I felt it was enough dealing with the Church on a "take it or leave it" basis. I couldn't imagine having my livelihood tied to the whims of a bishop who decided I wasn't "faithful enough."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/01/2017 12:07PM by idleswell.

"Mr Lostboy, we've heard some concerning things from your former bishop".

"Oh yeah, that. I was having trouble doubting my doubts, but I'm all better now. Total believer. My testimony is stronger than ever. Joseph Smith was a true prophet, blah, blah."

A lady from my old ward in Germany was translating for the church. She lost her faith and still translated for Genral Confernece and things like that but she stopped paying tithing and attending the temple and attending church on her own without her translator job. Once the top found out that she didn't believe anymore they fired her. She was very surprised and shocked no matter what she believed she loved her job and still translated correclty. This sad storry has a happy ending she did find a new job that she likes even better and pays better too. I am not sugar couting it, it was hard for her.

...Dennis & Rauni Higley's:

http://exmormon.org/d6/drupal/whylft50

We lost our employment when we left the church. It was rough waters for a little while but amazingly it has been all uphill since and we are 1000% better than when we left. Don't let fear and threats worry you too much, it is a better job market these days than ten years ago and once the initial disruption happens you will be much happier and in a more stable environment than a place based on a lie.