As I grow older, in this definitive time in my life, I find my beliefs changing and shifting, even though I thought some were solid. It is obvious to me that I do not like or want to be in this church.

Today, I was approached by a counselor who asked me to give a talk next week. Now, I remember the last time I gave the talk, and through the whole ordeal, I HATED it. Absolutely loathed the whole process. I have a special kind of stage fright that activates when I'm talking to a group that won't respond. Oh, just my luck, that's exactly how sacrament talks are supposed to go.

So I try at first to tell him to let me think about it. I decide to tell him a straight 'No, get someone else.' But as the fates would have it, my dad heard, and scolded me in a very imitating manner ("That is NOT how you answer when you are given an assignment."). So I very hesitantly accepted the answer. And it feels like I signed my own death warrant.

I really don't want to do this. Really don't. I was planning on telling my family after I was 18 and out of the house, but this situation has made me contemplate telling sooner. My hormonal body is making me feel somewhat depressed because of this. I think I'll still lay low, but I'm so fearful.

Any suggestions would be nice. Don't fret, I'm not actually depressed (I think) and you don't need to be too serious. I always find laughter makes truly happy moments.

No, but he'd probably call BS on it or tell me 'the spirit ' will guide me.

You could stand up and talk about how you are grateful for the chance to speak....that it's truly inspired as you've meant to stand up many times....and how you know the church is a bunch of bunk.

I promise you'll never be asked to speak again.

Did he tell you the topic of the talk?

This might make you smile. He's a councilor (or councillor in the British Empire), not a counselor. He's some dude with no experience who got roped into a calling. A counselor actually helps people. :) Thinking of him and his request that way might be of use to you.

(It's my intention to give you a grin, not nitpick your grammar, BTW.)

Cheers,
Saree

I would stand behind the pulpit and call it like it is, a bunch of garbage.

...you could obey your father and speak on the subject of "Plural Marriage in Kirtland and Nauvoo," as detailed on the church's website at

https://www.lds.org/topics/plural-marriage-in-kirtland-and-nauvoo?lang=eng

You could read excerpts such as this one:

"Joseph told associates that an angel appeared to him three times between 1834 and 1842 and commanded him to proceed with plural marriage when he hesitated to move forward. During the third and final appearance, the angel came with a drawn sword, threatening Joseph with destruction unless he went forward and obeyed the commandment fully."

You could read that statement slowly, and in the most sarcastic "Yeah, right" voice you can muster. Maybe repeat the statement for emphasis.

You can also quote this excerpt:

"The first plural marriage in Nauvoo took place when Louisa Beaman and Joseph Smith were sealed in April 1841.19 Joseph married many additional wives and authorized other Latter-day Saints to practice plural marriage."

You can comment on this passage by saying "Brothers and sisters, this is important information because the late President Gordon B. Hinckley said in 1998 that Mormons didn't begin practicing polygamy until they moved west in 1847. So obviously, President Hinckley was wrong on that." After you say that, cast your eyes around the chapel and note the squirming in the pews.

Then quote this passage:

"Most of those sealed to Joseph Smith were between 20 and 40 years of age at the time of their sealing to him. The oldest, Fanny Young, was 56 years old. The youngest was Helen Mar Kimball, daughter of Joseph’s close friends Heber C. and Vilate Murray Kimball, who was sealed to Joseph several months before her 15th birthday."

To draw the congregation in to your speech, ask a 14-year-old girl in the crowd to stand, then say "Brothers and sisters, this beautiful young lady would have been old enough to have the privilege of being married for time and eternity to the prophet Joseph."

Then you can address this statement:

"Marriage at such an age, inappropriate by today’s standards, was legal in that era, and some women married in their mid-teens." You can comment, "Actually, brothers and sisters, this is not correct. Although 14-year-old girls could get married back then, no girl of any age could be married to a man who was already legally married."

Then, tackle this segment:

"The revelation on marriage required that a wife give her consent before her husband could enter into plural marriage.42 Nevertheless, toward the end of the revelation, the Lord said that if the first wife “receive not this law”—the command to practice plural marriage—the husband would be “exempt from the law of Sarah,” presumably the requirement that the husband gain the consent of the first wife before marrying additional women."

You can elaborate on this by saying "So God said that Emma had to give consent for Joseph to take a plural wife, but if she refused, he could do it anyway. So Joseph could say neener neener neener to Emma, and plural marry all the girls he wanted."

You can finish up your talk with this passage:

"Despite claims that Joseph Smith fathered children within plural marriage, genetic testing has so far been negative, though it is possible he fathered two or three children with plural wives."

You can comment: "Brothers and sisters, some evil or misinformed people have alleged that the prophet Joseph did not have sexual relations with any of his plural wives. But the church's essay confirms that he may have fathered two or three children by them. It's wonderful in these latter days to have more accurate, detailed information revealed about our beloved prophet, to rebut the assertions of those who are enemies of the truth. And I say these things in the name of Truth, Justice, and The American Way."

Amen!!!!

I would suggest adding a BY fake beard. And wear running shoes.

Talk about whatever you want. Talk about kindness, generosity, responsibility, or perseverance. I just googled, "church sermon kindness" and came up with a bunch of hits, including this one:

http://www.sermoncentral.com/sermons/express-kindness-melvin-newland-sermon-on-christian-love-32394.asp

There are lots of ideas and quotes in that sermon that you can draw from. Adding some experiences of your own would give a personal touch.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

What you need is to give the most boring talk in the history of giving talks, so they'll never ask you again. So you get up to the pulpit and you proceed to read from the scriptures, stammering, stuttering, stumbling over every other line.

Like I always say sometimes, if you can't entertain them, bore them to death.

I did that last time.

Naturally.

It doesn't seem to have worked.

I agree with the boring talk idea. Hopefully your talk isn't supposed to be very long.

You could just go into LDS.org, find some old talk of Monson's from 1977 or something, and just repeat it from the stand. Who's going to know? And even if they somehow do, what can they do about it? Following a profit is no sin in the church.

Or, give a rehash of Packer's "Young Men Only" speech. Explain how it's helped you in your life. Quote the funniest parts verbatim. Extra points if you can keep a straight face.

Might I add, the topic is on "Making the right choices."

This could open a very tasty can of worms.

The best, or "right" choices are made after becoming familiar with all pertinent evidence, not vague feelings or pressures, and making educated, fully informed decisions based on reality, not myth, legends and fantasy.

Just go to the GA's previous talks from the LDS website, not sure what it's called since I've never looked at it.

Search for "Making the right choices." You'll likely find a dozen talks that you can repeat verbatim and not one person will care.

I hated giving talks in church too. My mother used to say that she helped me give my first "2 and a half minute talk" when I was 5 and I wet my pants. I don't remember that but she always mentioned it as I grew older, not to be cruel.

She had a great way of telling things like that.

pianoforte Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Might I add, the topic is on "Making the right
> choices."

With that topic, I would focus on decision making by using critical thinking skills.

Here are a couple of definitions of critical thinking to help get you started:

— Disciplined thinking that is clear, rational, open-minded, and informed by evidence.

— Critical thinking is that mode of thinking — about any subject, content, or problem — in which the thinker improves the quality of his or her thinking by skillfully analyzing, assessing, and reconstructing it.

I would also mention:

— That praying, studying scripture, seeking counsel from church leaders or waiting for God to answer every question or guide us in all that we do can leave us in limbo...I think "a God" would want his children to learn to think for themselves and make decisions on their own and not seek his approval on every single decision in life.

— Sometimes life can present us with situations where all the choices before us may be right/good and not necessarily bad. It's up to us to make the life we want for ourselves.

Some in the congregation would really appreciate a speech like that...I know I would ;)

How old are you?

It is inconsiderate of your father to force you into this talk when you already said no.

He will probably try and bully you into also going on a mission,so be prepared and plan your exit.

Depending on your age, you can also refuse to go to church.

Making the right choices? Great.

Maybe give a short talk. Talk about the current First Presidency, how none of them served full-time missions and were bothered with earning their own money to go on a mission. Instead they became prophets, seers and revelators and had all the perks of the apostolic office.

In fact President Monson became the corporate sole of the church's assets. I guess if you make the right choice you can become the prophet without having to serve a mission and become filthy rich at the same time and have you picture plastered all over bishop and stake presidents' offices and have all the youth say they know your a true prophet.

I'm glad that President Monson set such a good example for me to follow and has made it possible for no one to feel guilty for being forced to do something they don't want to do such as going on a mission.

End.

EDITED TO ADD:

****O.K. pianoforte****I wrote this out in a hurry:

Today I was asked to give a talk on “Making the Right Choices.”

First, I’m not sure if it was such a good idea by the bishop’s counselor to ask me to give a talk on something that might make him look like he didn’t make the right choice asking me to speak. (laugh)

Second, I’m not sure if having me give a talk on making right choices was the right topic choice for him to assign me. (laugh)

Third, I suppose if you like my talk then you will think I made the right choice to give this talk on “Making Right Choices.”

But if you don’t like my talk, well then, I guess I made the wrong choice on what I decided to talk on with regard to “Making Right Choices.” (laugh)

I think I’ll keep my talk short.

Making the right choice is different for everyone.

Some decide not to go to early morning seminary because it’s the right choice to be on the high school sports team that practices before school since that is important to that person. We never know or should pre-judge whether that is the right or wrong choice. That choice might cause that person to excel and become a positive role model someday for thousands of others – and that’s a good thing.

Some people might look at that as the wrong choice. But then, it’s really nobody’s business to judge what each one of us chose to do, because it is our own personal right to make the choice that is right for us. We are all different.

Some will get a patriarchal blessing that tells them to serve in the military rather than go on a mission. That’s great. Those individuals might decide to follow that course of action and feel it is the right choice for them, while others might think you’re making the wrong choice. Again, it’s really nobody’s business to judge what personal choice we make, because we are all different.

Some members of the church will tell you that you must make this or that decision for your choice to be right. They’ll say that because someone has decided ahead of time on what you should or shouldn’t do. You’re just supposed to do x, y, or z without making a conscious decision not to do x, y or z. Why? Because the pre-determined choice is the right choice.

Well, we all have our free agency to make the right choice for what we perceive is right for us, regardless of what others say. If we pray about our decisions and feel good about them than that’s the right choice.

I suspect that most patriarchal blessings say the same basic thing to all the youth: you were valiant in the pre-existence; you’re lucky to live when the gospel is on the earth; the Lord will have many blessings in store for you if you keep the commandments; you will go on a mission; you will marry in the temple; and probably you’ll raise up a righteous posterity.

Well, that’s all nice. But, what if the choices you make aren’t the exact ones that church leaders say you must or should make when you're 16, 18, 20 or older? For example, go on a full time mission or chose instead to serve in the military?

I think we should look to our leaders and follow their example when our personal choices feel right for us. For example, let’s examine the members of the First Presidency: President Monson, President Eyring and President Uchtdorf.

How many of them went on a full-time mission for the church?

The answer: none of them served full-time missions and none of them were troubled with earning their own money to go on a mission. Their circumstances were different.

What happened to them?

They still became prophets, seers and revelators and with those positions they enjoy all the nice comforts of their apostolic office.

In fact President Monson became the corporate sole of the church's assets. He owns everything according to the articles of incorporation.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is: if you make the right choice that is right for you, you too can become the prophet. You can become the owner of all the church’s real estate and assets. You can become the leader. And, you could get your picture plastered all over bishop and stake presidents' offices and have all the youth say they know you’re a true prophet even though you didn’t go on a mission.

In closing, I'm glad that President Monson set such a good example for me to follow by making the right choice that was right for him. It has made it possible for anyone in the church not to feel guilty for choosing not to do something they believe is the wrong choice for them.

There isn't a one shoe fits all solution to every decision we face in life. We are all different. As long as we pray and feel that our own personal decisions are the right decisions and the right choices – even though they might be different than someone else’s choices – then that’s all that really matters in making the right choice.

And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

End.



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2015 02:51AM by jiminycricket.

That's very interesting none served missions? I looked it up Erying would have graduated HS 1951. There's no reason he didn't other than he wanted to be successful in education instead? Monsoon did a little military thing but never went anywhere instead he was destined to run his father's business. Walks right in to be the manager at like 22. What a life?

I was asked to speak at Sac meeting on my Christmas break home from Ricks in '66. I told tales about water fights in the dorm and other foolishness, and nothing about growing spiritually or any other LDS horseshit....the congregation weren't amused...but Dad and Mom said nothing.

Ron Burr

I was once asked to give a talk on gratitude. I wish i'd kept the talk so I could pass it on to you.

The gist of it was, be grateful. Ask and ye shall receive. Have faith and you'll get what you ask for. Try the scriptures(there are some that tell you just that) and see if you get what you ask for. You should!

There are tons of scriptures that back up all of these ideas. You can get up and do nothing but quote scripture. Nobody can argue with it. I was NEVER asked to speak again.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2015 12:32AM by madalice.

You are under no obligation to entertain anyone. Just get something off the internet and go up there and put your head down and read.

Maybe get this month's ensign and read it. You can't hear it enough, right? I mean, home teachers give that message to the people they visit, who just gave it to the people they visit, and on and on.

Tell them you'll express yourself at the piano instead. Then play something you want.

Read one of the new LDS 'essays' - word for word. Do not look up at the audience, just read the essay and then sit down.

Choose any one:

Mountain Meadows Massacre
http://www.lds.org/topics/mountain-meadows-massacre

Book of Mormon and DNA Studies
https://www.lds.org/topics/book-of-mormon-and-dna-studies

Spalding Manuscript
http://www.lds.org/topics/spaulding-manuscript

First Vision Accounts
http://www.lds.org/topics/first-vision-accounts

Are Mormons Christian?
http://www.lds.org/topics/christians

Book of Mormon Translation
http://www.lds.org/topics/book-of-mormon-translation

Race and the Priesthood
http://www.lds.org/topics/race-and-the-priesthood

Plural Marriage and Families in Early Utah
http://www.lds.org/topics/plural-marriage-and-families-in-early-utah

Plural Marriage in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
https://www.lds.org/topics/plural-marriage-in-the-church-of-jesus-christ-of-latter-day-saints?lang=eng

Plural Marriage in Kirtland and Nauvoo
https://www.lds.org/topics/plural-marriage-in-kirtland-and-nauvoo?lang=eng

The Manifesto and the End of Plural Marriage
https://www.lds.org/topics/the-manifesto-and-the-end-of-plural-marriage?lang=eng

Becoming Like God
https://www.lds.org/topics/becoming-like-god?lang=eng

Book of Abraham
https://www.lds.org/topics/translation-and-historicity-of-the-book-of-abraham?lang=eng

WOW. So many funny great choices and so little time. With these suggestions, you might just look forward to giving this talk and even talk longer than 2.5 minutes!

Good luck. Please return and report.

(a side note, at your age I had a single parent in my life who very seldom gave me directives concerning my life. When I read your father's words, my reaction was interesting - I wanted to find your Dad and scream at him. However, as I thought it through, I guess I overreacted a bit. But still.....man, I find his reaction overbearing. Seems like someone your age should be given the liberty and courtesy to decided if he wants or wants not to give a talk in church. Guess you could conveniently get the stomach flu the hour of the talk?)

Hey, I read your post and just wanted to see if I can help.

I'm a pianist, and I perform regularly. I saw your name (pianoforte) and assumed you may be the same.

I've done it so much that I no longer get quite so nervous (even though I DO get nervous somewhat ... it's not completely gone).

I also speak regularly in front of people.

I just wanted to share one technique that helps me.

Here it is:

I think to myself: "Of all the people in this room right now, I am the most qualified person to be up here doing this."

Sure, it's not always 100% correct (for example, if you're in a competition ... the judges may be more qualified).

But most of the time it works. YOU are the one who has done the preparation. YOU are the one that was asked to present. YOU are the one who was researched and perhaps memorized the material.

Chances are that YOU are the most qualified person in the room. No one else there could stand up right then and there and do a better job.

If you don't feel like that's the case, the make sure you PREPARE so well that it IS the case when the time comes.

Anyway, my two cents ... hope this helps.

Get up, give a short 30 second talk, bow your head and with a prayer - CLOSE the meeting.

You won't be asked again.

I had a girl in a youth group who had such terrible stage fright we got one of two responses if we asked her to speak. She either threw up or fainted.

We also had an adult who thought forcing her to speak would cure her. Once the rest of us stopped helping clean up if she threw up, that woman stopped trying to "cure" her.

Eat something that will upset your stomach and have at it.

You can do this!
Unfortunately, the advice given above doesn't work well if you're a senior in high school trying to get by.

You will be able to leave the church very soon. There are a lot of caring people out there who will help you - but it takes money to live, and minimum wage isn't enough so be prepared.

The right choice is to get through this speech. It doesn't have to be long, you don't have to look up from the podium. You can say a lot of things without referencing "truth" "prophets", like the right choice is to be kind to everyone.
My daughter plays piano, I love the idea of playing a piece that has meaning to you!
Good luck