Is a reading of the will of a parent generally done after a funeral or when/how?
In our case, we were not planning on going to the funeral - because it would be too far and expensive for us (single parent family), plus stressful with all the TBM aspects.
The TBM parent who already passed earlier indicated that the house and all in it should be equally divided among all children. But I get the feeling chances are high that we will be minimally included in whatever the outcome is, being exmos and all.
Anyone have experience with this, and how it should be done? What should we expect in terms of the TBM parent's will? And what are our rights?
My family never had a "reading of the will." I would contact the executor of your parent's estate (which will probably be an older child/son or a lawyer) and request a copy of the will. It may also be on file with your parent's attorney, should s/he have one. You may wish to consult a lawyer once you have the will in hand.
Reading of the wills happens in movies. Whomever is appointed the personal representative/executor, files the will, asks for the letters of appointment and gives the notices to creditors. At that point the will will be public and you can get a copy.
If no one else has filed and you want to be the PR/E, you can file while they are all at the funeral. (The court will grant the apointment in the will, unless there is some good reason to do otherwise.
You can find out how the property is currently titled by looking it up online in many places nowadays. If one of the children took on helping your dad, their name may have been added to the title with rights of survivorship, in which case it will belong to that person.
What she said. "Reading of the will" is only done in Hollywood. The executor of the will or lawyer is supposed to make copies and mail them to everybody involved.
My TBM (I think, but I wondered lots about that in his final years) Dad had no mention of the LDS Church in his will. He had given mightily to the cult during his life, but his will was all about his sons.
My older sister is executor of the will. I was asked, but I was in the midst of a separation/divorce, as was my younger brother, who was also asked. My sister staged a war and tore the family apart. She didn't give any of us copies of the will. I had never seen it. I asked the lawyer who drew up the trust actually and they wouldn't give me a copy. When talking to my over the top TBM aunt one day, who happened to be our realtor (selling our father's farm), she told me to look at such and such a page of the will. I told her I didn't have a copy and had been refused a copy. She asked what other siblings didn't have copies (all of us) and she mailed us all a copy that day.
This sister is the only TBM in the whole lot of us.
It was actually more important to me to get a copy of the will in terms of I was also my parents' child and my sister wanted to pretend I wasn't.
I ended up getting my share of the proceeds from the farm. Not much of anything else. She squandered a lot of money and there will come a time when we have to take care of our disabled brothers because the money ran out. I chose not to fight her. It wasn't worth it. Then the lawyers get the money. I needed to mourn my parents. The copy of their will is a cherished possession. I don't know why. My aunt also sent me copies of their death certificates, etc.
Things have calmed down. There was a point I was even afraid to go to my parents' home (my brother lives there), but I went and cleaned it for him before Christmas from top to bottom, and I took a painting of my mother's that everyone else had basically tossed aside.
*I did talk to several lawyers and also a cousin who was dealing with some of the same issues. We both decided not to pursue legal action. Her family was dealing with millions, not just a few hundred thousand. She has a lot of experience in these things and even she determined the cost to fight her siblings legally was too much.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/20/2015 12:06AM by cl2.
You are entitled to copy of the will or trust if you are a beneficiary. If you believe property is not being dispersed per the will, it is easy to file a Lis Pendens (on real property) that will put a hold on the sale until it is cleared up.
If it's enough money it's worth a lawyer. Shouldn't be that involved. The executor or successor trustee is obligated to follow the terms of the will or trust. They don't have the right to decide to give it all to the church or divide it any way they see fit.
You have some legal recourse when it comes to personal property if it's subject to equal division. But that is where most family fights start and it can get so ridiculous that it's just not worth it.
When my TBM parents pass on, I don't think the property will actually end up being divided equally amongst siblings, as we've been told it will be.
I think what will happen is that my TBM siblings will have a TBM family member move in, and in doing so, I (exmo) won't have access to the proceeds from the home as it will be many, many more years before it gets divided up.
That's just a guess but what I'm sensing may happen. If they do that, instead of splitting it as was supposed to happen, I will no longer to speak to any of them.
It's not a requirement to divide property equally amongst kids - but that's what one of my TBM parents' wishes is. The other TBM parent however is likely to be swayed to give the inheritance to whomever is the most TBM of the kids. Automatically excluding me (the evil exmo)
The estate doesn't have to be divided equally. I have a close relative who has one TBM daughter who has done some terrible, mean things to her mother because this relative of mine (her mother) left their father for another woman several decades ago. I suggested that the mother divide the estate up in to equal portions based on the number of her surviving kids. Then at the reading of the will, the will will state that the portion that would have otherwise gone to this one daughter, goes to the gay and lesbian (whatever it's called) foundation. Then the rest of her kids get their own portions for themselves. I don't know if she'll follow through with that. But that's what the little brat (married and has her own kids now and won't allow her mother a grand parent relationship with her kids) deserves.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/21/2015 01:48AM by azsteve.
If your family is old time "English" like one side of mine I would be a little worried that that it wont be divided fairly. There is that "Norman" tradition of giving everything to the eldest son. If an estate is broken up it is disgrace. It is not to be given to daughters. Funny how patriarchal tradition can go on and on for millenia even across the pond in America.