Another 1/4 or so *pretended* to want to remain friends for a while (a few years in some cases), but when it became clear I was never going back, they bailed as well.
Mine neither...and i thought that i was actually quite close to very many of them essentially having grown up together in the same Ward over the years.
I left just after my mission when i was in Young Adults.
Never had even 1 single "friend" want to talk about it or call me to say they missed me.
Looking back it became obvious that the entirety of Mormonism is a total contrivance and you only have "value" to them as long as you are a member of their "club".
Goes for many family members as well as many of us have also painfully found out.
Three, but I don't even express my true feelings about Christianity & spirituality to them because I know they wouldn't appreciate it. But they (one in particular) feel it's fine to talk about their religiosity all the time.
But then again, maybe it's because I never really talked openly about religion to people when I was a member, either, but other people are comfortable with it. It's just that now, I'm really not comfortable with it and cringe at it because I disagree but will not say anything.
Oh, and actually it's down to 2 members who are friends because one of the friends left the church recently! Woo-hoo! And I had absolutely nothing to do with it.
And I was nice, and left quietly, not wanting to make waves. In those days, I didn't say anything bad about Mormonism. I said it all in my letter of resignation, which the bishop read--and who knows who else.
I didn't have any real friends in our Utah ward, in the first place, except for other divorced and single people. Three of us lived in three adjacent houses, and were a great support to each other. They got married, and moved away, and are still TBM. Even without anyone resigning, Mormons lose contact with friends who are not in their ward, because the ward keeps them so busy.
My cousin moved into a bigger house, in the same neighborhood, and her daughter was crying about it. She would still be in the same school with all her friends, and she still lived close to them. "But, we won't be in the same ward, anymore, and we won't be best friends, anymore." She was right.
Fair weather friends, is right. (As long as I would play the piano and organ, and supervise and feed their kids at my house, and bring them casseroles when they were sick.) Think about it: were your Mormon "friendships" all one-sided?
I've had for 30 or more years. They are both TBM. I met them both at different jobs I've had. We've had a few issues over the years and ended up agreeing to disagree.
Most of the neighbors I get along with, too. The last bishop's wife always comes to me to discuss things about her kids like when her son left on his mission in July, she came directly to talk to me the next morning as she said she knew I wouldn't say, "But it is such a blessing," but would commiserate with her over her son being gone.
I've been inactive over 20 years and I was a single mom for a long time who kept to herself. In all these years, there have been good and bad, but I've even made a really good friend of one of the Mormons who moved in after I left. We have to be careful about running into each other because we talk for hours.
One sent me an invitation to some party-plan sales party. Other than that, nothing. I didn't mind or notice though; I had moved away from the ward and made no effort to stay in touch with anyone myself. I suspect there were at least two or three who would have stayed friends had I tried to meet them halfway, but I'll never know for sure. I left the church at the same time I was divorcing my gay husband, so I don't think I was being shunned so much as people were just uncomfortable with the situation.
I've grown apart from almost all of my extended family. Again, I'm not being shunned so much as we just don't have much in common anymore, and it's just easier to live our own lives our own way now.
No one, really. One family keeps in touch after we moved from their ward- our sons were best friends as kids.
Friends I made at work as a nurse, however, are still friends. We went through a lot together, and always had each other's backs. Different religions, no one cared.
There are a few people, TBM'S, who are still my friends. They are people who I have known for many years. Anyone who rejects or shuns me was never a close friend anyway. There are people who are willing to look beyond religion. In my case, though, I haven't resigned yet. I am open and verbal about being a non believer. Maybe they just think there's still hope, but I doubt it.
I still keep in contact with several Mormons: friends and relatives; I moved out of the area so I don't run into most of them, or they live in a different state. I've remained friendly with the same upbeat attitude. I like having a variety of friends. Religion is never an issue. Relationships are about a lot more than a belief system.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2015 09:21PM by SusieQ#1.
I never was the kind of person who make friends just because I share the same believes with someone. Friendship is more than that. I choose friends because I like their charakter. And those I have chose me by charakter although I'm a true weirdo. And I know that these few but elected friends will stuck with me no matter what will happen.
All of them. Because the few who stuck with me were the only ones who were really friends. And all these years later we are still friends. One is coming out to the Southease to visit me from Utah in April. She's still a temple attending TBM even though she is a genuine Christian person.
Oh there were many who I THOUGHT were friends but really were just brainwashed cultists. It was nice to get the chance to find out.