I am an exmormon but am also the family genealogist. I have always had a genuine interest in history and connections to it through our families. Without a doubt I believe that certain themes repeat and cycle through successive generations in a family and it fascinates me. DNA is powerful stuff. I've spent years researching, compiling, traveling all in the pursuit of an accurate, complete family history.

As much as I try to share with my family the rich lives and lessons of our ancestors (not mormon), they seem to be only interested in NAMES! My father's fantasy is to walk into the temple with thousands of names to show off to fellow temple workers. He does sincerely believe that he is savings souls, but seems completely disinterested in who they were. It comes across as just trying to score points and being seen as mega-faithful.

I worked as a researcher for a SLC firm for a few years and we knew that if it was an LDS client you focused time getting as many names for temple work as possible. For Non-LDS clients the focus was the actual stories, historical context, record sources, etc.

So my Dad has always begged me for "names" and I have repeatedly shared my research. However, he lacks the attention span to actually extract the data, put in the right format and submit the names. He expects me to prepare the names and submit them for temple work. This is awkward for me because a) I resigned my membership many years ago b) I believe temple work which requires temple a recommend is a gimmick of the church to extort tithing c) I refuse to acknowledge the church as an authority on what makes a family when they would deny my same-sex relationship and children (via surrogacy) the dignity and civil rights of a family 4) that the morg's position on same-sex relationships continues to contribute to depression and suicide of young people in families just as it had for me growing up in the church

It is too much internal conflict for my brain to handle. I realize this might make me as bad as Christian bakers who refuse to bake a cake for a gay wedding - but I refuse to participate in magical templework and make-believe sealings of departed families just to make my family appear as rock stars to their Mormon peers - but hey, more power to you if you want to do it.

So a few months ago a tbm in-law of an extended family member, not related to me, contacts me to ask questions about his own genealogy research. I'm always happy to help. He starts asking questions about some of my paternal side and I share with him, as examples of what he could do with his research. I gave him access to my research.

I just learned that this was all a set up. My father had schemed with this kid all along and requested that he contact me to be genealogy buddies all for the purpose of getting NAMES! Over the past months they have been churning out temple work. I'm sure my dad imagines a McDonald-like billboard in the spirit world churning numbers of "millions served" or "saved" in this case.

If they had asked me, yes, they would have had to suffer through a lecture on the hypocrisy of using my research to help them create their huge web of eternally sealed families, while they won't recognize my family as legitimate either in or out of the morg. I still would have given them access though since I believe it is all silly anyway.

So they chose deception. I feel used and like they felt they got one over on me. I hate this about religion, the lying for the greater good. They think they are so clever.

For your own satisfaction, feed them some phony names. Lots of phony names. Then, in a few months, when Mormon relatives have spent countless hours sitting through endowment sessions, break the news to them. My guess is that they will stop using your research for temple work.

(Yes, I sometimes have a vindictive mean streak...)

Suggested names:

U. Bolt

I. Beam

Peter Nibbler

"...feed them some phony names..."

"In the name Jesus Christ, I baptize you for Keyser Soze, who is dead...."


Anyway, assuming you are of Northern European descent, I'd wager that most of those names have already been through BFD, maybe more than once, like George Washington and Adolf Hitler....