All right, this is hard for me. I posted before about how I met a girl who after sleeping with me, told me that she was about to join the church. I told her very generally about how I had converted to it and than left. (she joined anyway). This is a woman in her late 20s (close to my age) and is divorced (from a bad marriage) and has tow young sons. Well since she joined we have continued to see each other on and off. I try and tell her that I do not think she fits in because she is a working single mother among other things. We still have sex and I have seen her drunk (with her nevermo family) and drinks coffee.
Strangley when she is with me, she seems very receptive to the things I tell her, like that she will not like wearing garments, says she didn't know that her family couldn't see her get married in the temple (that shocked her), and has even asked how she could resign. But on face book she still posts all of the usual TBM/pro church stuff.
I am mad that I finally found someone that I really like and care fore and just my luck she joins Mormonism. My take on it is that she got pulled into by friends and missionaries (like I did) but is seeing a lot of the intrusive things about Mormonism (like I did) and is caught up in cognitive dissonance (like I was).
Can anyone give me there opinion on what they think is going on here and share your thoughts please. Thanks. BTW she loves to wear sleav less shirts and shirts that show her cleavage and I tell her that she looks great in them! She has not been through the Temple yet, I am telling her about that and she seems somewhat receptive. I think the fact that she is trying to give her two sons a good/moral up brining might have something to do with this also. Thanks everyone.

Do the kids know what you do to (with) <alternate word inserted) their mother at night? Do they know she drinks alcohol and *gasp!* coffee? I'm guessing not...?

Walking both sides of the street, it looks like to me, if that's the case.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/22/2015 05:05PM by csuprovograd.

He is not "doing" anything to her.

When two consenting adults decide to make the beast with two backs it's their own business.

Sorry to butt in here but…

… the beast with two backs ?

Never heard that one before. Kind of like it, very gothic.
I may have found a replacement for ‘ bumping uglies ‘.

...but cannot replace!

;^D

Where did I put that fleshlight...??



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/22/2015 07:10PM by moose.

Of course moose, what was I thinking? Thanks for setting me straight.

Well …not in the way you think I mean straight, but … dang, why is this so hard … I mean … not hard like how you think I meant hard, but… oh bother, I’m just gonna relieve myself from this conversation. Wait, I didn’t mean that either … oh hell … noooooo. :/

Nothing like a good straight man....I mean....

Ah, hell! I see where you ran into difficulty.

Old Will Shakespear speak, that is.

Ah, now that makes it even more interesting. Thanks for clarifying that!

Sweaty snugglebunnies.

Why would anyone feel they needed to tell their young sons the details of their private life?

"...she is trying to give her two sons a good/moral up bringing..."

You might show her this:

http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-0115-zuckerman-secular-parenting-20150115-story.html

It might help her understand that you don't need to raise kids in a religion for them to have a good/moral upbringing.

You can only give it some time and see what happens.
Watch carefully how she responds when local leaders make demands on her time and money.
You'd think a single working mother of two would have very little to spare of either.

Her enchantment with Mormonism may be short lived. But if she becomes more involved she may end up trying to suck you back in.
Therefore, think twice before you enter a marriage with her.

My thoughts:
Her behavior doesn't seem to fall in line with what her church expects of her.
She will soon discover that she can't have both her private life and her new church. They are incompatible, especially when her church considers her weeknight activities to be a sin next to murdering children.

If she keeps it up she'll find herself in a room full of men asking her about all the things she has done in the bedroom with you before they pass judgment on her (likely dis-fellowship).

Smith and his disgusting ways seem to really hit home with women.

Plural Marriage in Kirtland and Nauvoo
https://www.lds.org/topics/plural-marriage-in-kirtland-and-nauvoo?lang=eng

More info
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1438886,1438886#msg-1438886

http://mormonthink.com/essays-plural-marriage-in-kirtland-and-nauvoo.htm

How can a real church come from such a disgusting individual?

Then maybe show her the rock in the hat stuff and some background on the rest of the Smith family. It is no wonder that Emma's family didn't want her to get involved with them!

I would also show her the Bio board. This "church" is not something that helps people, it hurts them. Here is a recent one, would she want this for her son? http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?3,1485972,1485972#msg-1485972

And there is always this nice punchlist from Richard
http://www.exmormon.org/tract2.htm

Let us know how we can help :)

For the most part, I would practice watchful waiting. Back off of the comments and let her see things for herself. I would set parameters for her, i.e. you will not ever reconvert, get married or sealed in the temple, tithe, tolerate church visitors to your home, or whatever other boundaries you wish to set.

If pressed, I would bring up Joseph Smith's polygamy. A lot of nevermos would be seriously put off by this. Compare it to Warren Jeff's antics. I would mention that you have higher standards than to accept someone like that as a religious "prophet."

To me it's kind of strange that new converts and ex members should be concentrating on trivia such as garments and church intrusiveness when all the stuff about the church being a pack of lies made up by a lecherous charlatan is out there on the church website for all to see. Am I missing something here?

Original Poster,

YOU need to decide YOUR limits too. What are your boundaries?
If she should decide to "get in line" and go sexless and start pressuring you to be LDS and get married..then what?

Do yourself a fave and decide now and tell her that if she chooses to a place that you might not join her.

RMM

personally, I would tell her if she joins, you are not interested any longer. At least, I could not date someone who was interested in joining or who joined Mormonism.

Chances are quite high she'd leave it (church), if she really cares about pursuing the relationship with you.

She wants a moral upbringing for her sons? She should begin with her own behavior!

She seems like she is pretty open minded and would be open to learning the truth about Mormonism. If she does, I can almost guaranty you will be able to de-convert her.

Have her read the following in this particular order:

http://packham.n4m.org/tract.htm
http://cesletter.com/
http://www.mormonthink.com/
http://www.utlm.org/onlinebooks/changecontents.htm

youtube the temple ceremony

Good luck!

There are probably deeper issues for her about life, love, relationships, beliefs, and etc. She's been through a lot already. I'm not necessarily saying to abandon ship, but is this what you really want? She seems to have a real desire to fit in somewhere and is trying to find herself. Are you a phase for her, too?

As a guy, you're in your dating prime. There are a lot of women in their late twenty and early thirties who are looking for relationships with normal guys their age. Stay with her if you love her and see her as your ideal partner, and work through this Mormon issue together, but don't stay with her just because you finally found someone.

She's a project.... or as my nephew called one of his former girl-friends, she's a math book. Open her up and she's loaded with problems.

If she agrees with your views, and she agrees with the churches views, she'll agree with the next person or cause that talks to her. She's an accident looking for a place to happen.

It sounds like you thrive on solving other's problems. If you're young, I'd suggest you follow "Been There,too" recommendation and look for someone your age and is seeking a normal relationship.