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Posted by: ultra ( )
Date: January 26, 2015 05:57PM
Not on my watch! ( A Bishop Rood Story)

The Closing hymn and prayer had just been said and the congregation was starting to file out to head to Sunday School.

A couple of the teachers were busily starting too take down the sacrament when one of the boys tried to carry to many trays back to the preparation room and dropped one sending bread scattering all over the floor.

Sister Smithmeyer, who had given a speech on the 'Tender Mercies of the Lord' was walking by at that exact moment while leaving the stand and immediately went down to help the poor teacher pick up the bread from the floor.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!?!" Bishop Rood yelled out in shock and anger.
"I'm picking up bread and helping.." Sister Smithmeyer began.

"YOU ARE STEADYING THE ARC IS WHAT YOU ARE DOING!!!" Rood screamed.

"What?" Sister Smithmeyer said weakly.

"Preparation and take down of the sacrament is a PRIESTHOOD DUTY! You don't have the priesthood...so you get your polished red fingernails off THAT bread NOW!"

"You are being kind of Rude..you know that!"

"I AM MAKING SURE THE CHURCH STAYS PURE!!!!!" Rood screamed back.

(Meanwhile Elohim was sitting back in his lounge chair watching some football when Rood's screaming tantrum ascended up to him.)

"Hmmm..." He did a quick rewind to see what was happening currently, kind of irritated about missing the game.

Elohim was shocked as well at this behavior he was seeing and saw that he had NO choice but to act to curb this awful behavior he was seeing.

NOT ON MY WATCH! Elohim brought an immediate stop to this horrible behavior being committed by one of his TRUE church members by

Sending down a bolt of lightening and instantly killing Sister Smithmeyer.

Everyone around Sister Smithmeyer stared in stunned amazement.

"Wow, I guess the Lord is serious about women not participating in any priesthood functions." Bishop Rood said under his breath. "All I was planning to do was to tell her to stop being such an uppity woman and to repent."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/26/2015 06:00PM by ultra.

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Posted by: moose ( )
Date: January 26, 2015 06:07PM
Instant gold! (n/t)


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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: January 26, 2015 06:10PM
Re: Not on my watch! ( A Bishop Rood Story)

Where was Jehovah?

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Posted by: ultra ( )
Date: January 26, 2015 06:12PM
Re: Not on my watch! ( A Bishop Rood Story)

Eating Tacos?

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 26, 2015 06:14PM
Re: Not on my watch! ( A Bishop Rood Story)

Jesus!

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Posted by: poopstone ( )
Date: January 26, 2015 09:18PM
Re: Not on my watch! ( A Bishop Rood Story)

great post! what a laugh! This must be a veiled reference to Kate Kelly and her presumption to think she needs something more for celestial salvation?

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Posted by: Tikbalang ( )
Date: January 27, 2015 12:19AM
Re: Not on my watch! ( A Bishop Rood Story)

Poor Bishop Rood....how does he sleep nights thinking about Sister Smithmeyer doing all those Washings and Annointings in the Temple....somehow, those aren't Priesthood Duties ?????

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