My guess is that the bishopric will keep trying to fill the calling. The bishop might have to stand at the pulpit and call the ward to repentance. Or, when he asks someone to fill the calling, he may have to lay on the "I've been inspired to extend this calling to you" even thicker than usual. He might even have to shed a few tears to prove his inspiration in order to get someone to take the calling.
I have to admit I fell for this once. I was asked to take a YW calling that I did not want. I'd already had that particular calling once before. I was terrible at it and was miserable for the entire two years that I had it. When the bishop asked me if I would take the calling, I told him I needed a week to think about it. He then called me twice during the week to say that the holy ghost made it clear to him that I was supposed to accept the calling, blah, blah, blah. He even got choked up.
Against my better judgement, I accepted the calling. The YW president later called me to say how happy she was that I had agreed to the calling. She said, "I never thought we would fill this calling. You were the fourth person the bishop had to ask". So much for inspiration. I was completely miserable in that calling until I was released two years later. Lesson learned.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/27/2015 10:17PM by want2bx.
I once refused a calling. They wanted me in Scouts, and I told them I could not in good conscience be affiliated with that organization. (This was near the end of my marriage when my gay husband and I were still trying to make things work.) They looked at me like I was crazy, but accepted my refusal.
A few years ago, there was a noticeable gap in the release and sustaining of a Bishopric Counselor. I found out later it was because the first two guys offered it had turned it down.
I refused a calling as a Primary teacher. I was suffering from severe depression at the time and could barely leave the house for work. So much for "an inspired calling".
I turned down callings if they didn't work for me. I didn't care what anyone thought.
When my daughter was about 10, they called me to young women's. I turned it down because I wasn't going to spend my evenings with everyones kids but my own. I also turned down any and all primary callings because i'm not good with little kids. I turned down a calling to be ward chorister because I know zip about music. I refused to teach any class that had out of control kids in it.
I also told the sp I wouldn't support my husband in any calling that took him away from home on evenings and weekends. The only exception was when our boys were in scouts. DH was the scout leader the whole time.
Very smart for DH to be the leader instead of trusting your boys' lives to someone who just had to have some kind of calling (instead of actually choosing to work with youth and actually knowing/liking wilderness)
Wow madalice, you have balls. I bow down to you. Towards the end I was incredibly frustrated with my calling, I hated it. I was also annoyed/angry at all the time dh's calling took away from the family (his was very demanding). I wish I could go back and take a stand. At the time I felt I had to support his service in the church (he was doing the lords work after all), and I had to do my duty too.
What happens is the poor shmuck already in the calling stays in the calling forever, or until they finally coerce someone else into fulfilling it. Sometimes that other person already has several callings but is the only person who will do it. Sometimes the person they call sucks at it and won't do the calling, so others are left to piece it together. And then sometimes the calling just goes unfulfilled.
Can you tell I've been in a ward that has problems with fillng callings? I'm friends with a member and she told me the other day the members are becoming really strained and burnt out.
I think I was able to say no for a couple of reasons.
First,i'd been away from the church from age 21 to 36. During that time I had a lot of therapy. I'd learned to stop being a co-dependent door mat. I wasn't about to go back into that mode with anyone. I was viewed as stubborn and rebellious by mormon men. Some actually told me they were afraid of me. There was one guy who told his wife she couldn't associate with me. All because I had the ability to say no. People seemed to either really like me,or really hate me.
I lived 30 miles away from the town the church was in. There were no mormons in my town. I had a lot of friends in the town I lived in, and I didn't care what the Sunday crowd thought of me.
Also, my husband (we'd been married a year) was a new convert. I didn't want us getting all caught up in a life of nothing but church. I wanted him to know he could say no if he wanted to. We were left alone, mostly because we lived so far away from the people in the ward.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/28/2015 01:31AM by madalice.
I refused a calling as a Primary teacher once because I had to work alternating Sundays as a nurse. The bishop told me I should quit that job, since LDS members were not supposed to work on Sunday. Living in Utah- I said "good luck then if a family member of yours gets sick on Sunday!"
It was one reason I left- they don't care about you as a person, they're just desperate and will say anything to get you to accept callings.