I almost feel like I need to warn my Mormon friends that any attempt to flood my phone with this written effluvia will open them up to harsh and extensive verbal abuse. Mormons, you stay out of my face, I'll stay out of yours.
Step 1.) Look up "Science Saved My Soul" on YouTube. Step 2.) Post link to video on your friend's testimony self-masturbatory slurp fest. Step 3.) Count down the time it takes that self-righteous bird to unfriend you.
Honestly as I read this I felt nostalgia for a simpler time. That was me once, and life was easier. I would not return to a foolish innocence, if granted the opportunity, but I do miss, sometimes, the surety that I had then.
… And then sometimes I gag at the surety I had then. But I guess, if I were done working through my issues, I wouldn't be here.