Endowed exmos, did any of you know about the ceremony prior to going through the temple? Did any of you read, research, or look up the temple ceremony prior to being endowed? If so, was it weirder or what you expected it to be? Share your story!

NO I DID not know anything, except it had to do with garments and some promises.

I went into sort of a shock mode after the first sign and penalty (I was 'endowed' before they removed all the suicidal stuff), and I sort of didn't take it in much after that. It was all so weird I don't think I thought about it very much at all. I was married straight after being endowed. That was strange too.

My (now) ex-husband was mad at me because I didn't cry, he did! All I could think of was how overwhelmed I felt! Little did I know that was the beginning of feeling 20 years of being totally overwhelmed by everything.

First of all, the temple is billed as such a tremendous "spiritual" experience, that it is only natural to expect to witness some kind of divine manifestation in the process.

Second, I had a goofy aunt that let it slip that secret handshakes were involved. I was about 11 at the time that she made that disclosure. In reaction I thought: There is NO way that the utterly sublime temple experience would include anything as LAME and STUPID as secret handshakes.

About 8 years later, I was being temple *endowed* prior to a full time MORmON mission. MUCH TO MY CHAGRIN, Not only was there really STUPID LAME secret handshakes, but I was touched inappropriately in private area, and there were threats made on my life in a very explicit and gory fashion.

Blame me, that I did not have the personal fortitude to walk out right then and tell my parents to shove their STUPID HOAKY LAME MORmON religion right up the place where one piece temple garments always tried to migrate to.

Blame me, that I actually went on a full time mission after that harrowing experience that should have been an EPIC WAKE UP CALL and attempted to sell that insane MORmON BS to others.

Blame me, that I actually converted some people to the insane MORmON BS.

Blame me, that I actually went back to a Hell house MORmON temple even after my extreme misgivings about the INSANE CRAP that went on in there.

I must have been a real MORmON at the time, but thankfully not anymore !!!! I will be stridently repenting of that sin for the rest of my life, now that I know better!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTDKUmI-NOE

I think if any of us ever have the opportunity for input to someone who will be going through the temple for the first time, we should point out:

- that their so-called "temple preparation class" prepared them for nothing and that it was all bullshit,

- that they will be give a time and "opportunity" to back out, but that it is given in a snarky and leading way so as to place max amount of embarrassment on the person, and

- that they are actually free to walk out at any time they come to a realization that the ceremony is a cult indoctrination.

I have a grand child who will be going through in a couple of short years. I see problems on the horizon. I believe that he may well be gay, and that he will go on a mission. I believe that they will want him to have only limited access to me beforehand. I will have to help him figure this out in some way in advance, and I hope to advise him that he can and should feel free to just get up and leave at whatever point it becomes too uncomfortable.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/03/2015 08:00AM by cludgie.

No. No one in SLC would talk about it. I asked my grandmother, but she said that god would strike her dead if she told me. I also knew nothing about being "washed and anointed" until I experienced it when called on my mission in 1960.

Here's what I wrote about my "preparation" for the endowment:

The bishop didn’t say much about what I could expect, just that I would receive my “endowment,” wherein I would be endowed with power from on high to exercise my priesthood in righteousness and teach the gospel. The stake president, one level higher than the bishop in the church hierarchy, was a lot more forthcoming.

“Don’t worry if the experience seems odd or troubling the first time,” he said. I honestly hadn’t contemplated the possibility that it might be anything but a spiritual high. But then I had no idea what went on in the temple.

“First you’ll be taken to a dressing room where you’ll change into a ‘shield,’ which is a thin covering like a poncho. But don’t worry; you won’t be completely naked.”

OK, now I was starting to worry. Shield? Naked? What did it mean?

“Then a temple worker will anoint your body with oil and water and pronounce certain blessings on you.”

My head was spinning at this point.

“Then you’ll be clothed in your priesthood garments.” Garments I knew about. These were the special underwear that “endowed” Mormons wore: basically a scoop-necked t-shirt and knee-length shorts with special markings in them.

“Then you’ll watch a film that describes the creation of the world and the Fall of Adam. You’ll be given signs and tokens by which you’ll be able to return to the presence of the Savior.”

He must have sensed that I was a little panicked.

“Like I said, it’s not that big of a deal. You get used to it.”

I had no idea what was going to happen. I knew that I'd be receiving garments at some point, but that's all I knew.

Nope. No one even gave a slight hint, like, "It's going to seem creepy and very cultish, but it's okay, because all the other grownups have done it."

No clue. My parents were inactive and I had no other Mormon relatives nearby.

I went after the '91 changes and before the changes to the washing and anointing in 2006-ish. So I didn't have to mime slitting my throat, but I still had to go through the naked touching.

I'd like to say it was a turning point. In retrospect, it seemed completely pointless -- everything else in my life with regards to the church seemed to have a fairly pragmatic purpose up until then.

No, but because it's usually attached to a mission call for guys and marriage for girls, you feel like you're already in a "no-turning-back-now" mode...something I think they count on.

Still, I can't believe I didn't run like the wind from the church after my first exposure to the multiple warnings of cultish crazydom that the temple endowment process provides.

I didn't have a clue what was going to happen except I had been hearing this endowment word all my life and so I looked it up in the dictionary as I had rarely heard the word used in regular society except in reference to certain body parts.

The dictionary was no help at all since it referred to things like "An endowment is a gift. It might be money given to an institution like a college. Or, an endowment might be a natural gift, say of a physical attribute or a talent. If you lack the endowment of musical talent, you could play the tambourine."

Reading those things was not helpful, so off I went to the temple expecting to see Jesus after all the hushed talk in somber tones whenever the temple was mentioned.

If the gift that was to be bestowed upon me was confusion, then I left there well endowed, but still with no ability to play the tambourine or enlargement of body parts.

I was onky told that they will dress me in G's and that I will be washed and annointed at a certain point before I go and receive the Endowment itself. And that it isn't a big deal.
Then I found myself naked under a shieldponcho with open sides and scaeed to death that a priesthoodholder will see me naked and wash and anoint me.
It helped a little that it was an elderly lady, who awaited me. But it was still worse and traumatic that she touched on my naked flesh and private parts. Later I webt trough as proxy and did it 50 times in a row. I never get used to it. But there was nobody else, who wanted to do it.
Nowadays as they don't have the shieldponcho anymore and changed it it's not longer a fleshy thing. I bet it scares the young ones way less than it did a decade or so ago.
But to that time my thought was really: "When now a guy show up to "wash and anoint me" I will scream Cult and run away." Well, I should have done it no matter what. But this preceremony was the initial seed to doubt it. A few weeks before I went out to the "field".

I knew abso-freakin-lutely NOTHING! Nada. Zilch!

There was no way to "look it up" in the mid 70s. I'd seen my mom ironing her pleated robe and apron and of course, I'd seen my parents parading around in the undies with their asses sticking out.

But I didn't even have my own temple clothes, I had to rent when I got there, so I hadn't even seen them up close, knew nothing about the sash and veil or anything. I had visions of the "washing and anointing" being some super sperchul thing where they wash your feet as Jesus did and anoint your head (kind of like they do now). I'd heard that your escort would be with you at all times, so naturally I was shocked when they took us from the chapel while our escorts waited there, told us to strip naked and put a little open poncho on and go stand in line so some old bags could touch us all over and put our undies on us.

Then we got in the endowment room while I was holding some fabric bag full of stuff. At least my mother was sitting by me then. I didn't know the men and women sat on different sides. I wondered what the significance of going to the temple with your husband was when you weren't with him. Then the movie started and it was quite beautiful--the creation part.

Then all of the sudden, "Oh, look, it's "Big Guy" Carlson! But now he's an angel runner for God. Then it was all like WTF??? Put the robe on this shoulder--tie the sash on this side--oops, our bad, put the robe on the other shoulder and tie the sash on the other side--here's a secret token but don't sell it for money--what? a Protestant preacher in the temple?--Oh, look, it's Satan. Now everybody do what Satan tells you to do--now all together, everybody pretend to slit your throat, have your heart ripped out and be disemboweled--remember, you promised you'd let someone do that before you would tell them those secret handshakes and passwords--now say put your hands up and say "pay lay ale," cause that's the true way to pray but never pray like that unless you're here dressed in this garb--now women veil your faces because remember, you're not worthy enough to hear a prayer with your face uncovered--oh, we're almost done. Yay. But let us lecture you at the veil--see these slits in the veil? Isn't it cool that they match your undies. Now Jeezus will stick his hands through them and you cuddle up to him in some really weird embrace and tell him everything you learned today. Good! You made it--you followed the path to the Celestial Room. Wasn't that worth it--look at the pretty chandelier. Aren't you glad you got to see that?--Well, it's over now go change and enjoy those super special undies and come back again soon. We know you're dying to."

All I could think about on the way home is how much I didn't want to go back in 2 weeks when I got married.

Perfect description, NormaRae, and so funny. I went through in '78, and I wasn't prepped at all either. The naked poncho time was traumatic for me and I never ever did initiatorys again! I never really liked going to the temple after that, but was afraid to tell anyone that since I kept trying but failing to assimilate into the Morg Collective for the next 30 years.

I had a great convert friend who took me into her bedroom and told me what to expect and gave me some garments to try on. Thanks to her it wasn't 100% creepy, just 90% creepy.

My ex Mormon mom told me about the secret handshakes.... I didn't believe her. Other than that, I had no idea. I was told I would be given a new name, and the ceremony was "nothing new that I hadn't heard before"

My TBM relatives made sure I knew almost everything the week before I went through the temple. They told me that everything was symbolic, that some of the meanings of different aspects of the temple were open to interpretation, and that the ceremony had recently changed to clear up some vague wording (this was at the beginning of 1991). So I went in totally inoculated. If I had gone in cold, I probably would have left the church much sooner.

I wa BIC, raised in a very active family in a small western town full of mormons but in WA. I took the temple prep class, looked through a book about the temple written by Packer (I think), and asked questions. I got the same vague answers regardless of the source; spiritual place, only place on earth where jesus still walks the earth. I went through in the late 80's and was shocked by what happened. The doctrine was nothing new, but the whole oath, token and penalty was too much. Only went back once and that just verified what I saw the first time.

I knew zero, zilch. This was 1974 right before my mission. I actually drove to the temple by myself and checked in all alone. I did meet up with family after the washing and anointing.

The whole time during the ceremony I kept on saying to myself, "How did I get it all wrong?!" I was so baffled that the temple ceremony had NOTHING to do with the church I knew and loved. It didn't make any sense to me. I kept on waiting for the big spiritual moment and it never happened, so I blamed my self. (But honestly, it's hard to feel spiritual while mocking slitting your throat and bowels...)

Now, looking back, I'm glad I had those experiences of blafflement because they NEVER went away and made it easier for me to leave the church. I never once had a temple experience that felt rewarding or gratifying.

My weirdest experience was doing sealings on the way home from my mission in the London Temple. The woman across from me was very elderly, but sweet. I was 21. With each sealing, she smiled at me like WE were getting married and it just creeped me out to no end. I kept on thinking, "This is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong!"

I knew nothing except that you "receive your endowments", whatever the hell that meant, and you wore garments after going to the temple. Nobody ever mentioned the secret handshakes and passwords, the ridiculous clown outfits that you fiddle with endlessly, the super creepy culty prayer circle, the poncho nakedness...nothing was mentioned except how wonderful and spiritual the temple was.

It was weird as f#ck and totally creeped me out. I only ever went 3-5 times total in my life. I hated it.

Some have expressed shock at the nude "washing and anointing" portion before the endowment.

However, I don't recall much of a reaction since once a week in our SLC Granite High School gym class we all swam completely naked in the indoor pool for the entire period. As a result, being naked in front of other males was a common part of growing up in Utah. One of my buddies on the swim team told me that one time the girls swim team, who were required to wear swimsuits, came in unexpectedly. The girls were very embarrassed, but the guys just stood there without covering themselves and thought it was funny as hell.

I sometimes read postings that individuals don't believe this happened in "Mormon Country", but any male who attended high school there in the late 1950's knows this is true.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/03/2015 12:12PM by Templar.

Yes -- I had read an account of the endowment ceremonies included in a book about Mormonism. This was in 1969.

I don't think there was any info I would have known about. I don't look at the temple stuff on line now either. I've seen it. Don't want to see it again.

I knew nothing about the endowment. It was bizarre, though I was relieved it wasn't an orgy. If someone is keeping a secret from you, it usually isn't a good secret, so the whole idea bothered me. I walked out feeling relieved, mostly about having it over with. I only went back a few times. I never got more comfortable with it. I think my discomfort increased.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/03/2015 11:44AM by cl2.

Sounds like something that would (rightly) be illegal now.

Also in the camp where I had zero clue what was about to happen. the Temple Preparation classes did nothing to prepare you for the craziness.
My TBM father gave me no hints.

I did the pre-1990 ceremony, so I experienced the throat slashing sh!t, the 5 points of fellowship, etc.

I just thought the whole thing was the weirdest thing I had ever participated in. I was shocked all the adults I had known in the church went to do this stuff regularly, and said how wonderful it was.

I just kept looking at my Dad, with all the robes and stuff on and the overwhelming thoughts that I remember are,
"How can you keep a straight face?"
"Do you know how ridiculous you look?"
"What has this to do with our religion?"

My kids are still in the church, my Ex makes sure of that. However, since the temple video and ceremony is now on the internet and available to download from various Torrent sites, I made sure we spent an evening watching it together. With me making fun, participating in light mindedness and loud laughter, and selling my signs and tokens the whole way through.

I called the experience inoculation.

I knew nothing.

I think this is why they want the kids endowed very young. They don't have the courage to walk out.

If that same event happened to me now, i'd be walking at the first sign of crazy. What do you mean take ALL of my clothes off and put on this square of fabric? OH hell no! You will not be putting your hands under that piece of fabric.

And what in the hell do you think I am? Crazy? I will not be slitting my throat or gutting myself over this clown show. Nobody else will be doing it for me either.

Sorry honey, wedding is off. Why didn't YOU tell me this was going to be how my wedding day is??? Unless you apologize and we get the hell out of here and go have a REAL wedding that our friends and siblings can come to, this marriage is off!

As it was, I was barely 18. I was far from home, didn't have any money or a vehicle. It was my wedding day, and there was a 300 people reception in just a few hours. I didn't have that kind of courage then.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/03/2015 02:14PM by madalice.

I went through the temple prep classes TWICE - and didn't learn about any of the shiz that went on in there until I went thru myself.

I had no idea what I was walking into, and the whole thing wasn't what I expected at all. I was really disappointed by my new name, which was especially weird and kind of creepy because it's my MIL's first name. I was shocked by the washing and anointing (this was when they still did naked touching), but I tried not to think about it too much. I went through the Salt Lake temple, so it was the live ceremony, and I had kind of a hard time following what was going on. I didn't understand why Satan featured so prominently.

I actually don't have a memory of the handshakes from the first time I went through. I don't know why that is. My first memory of the handshakes is from months later, in the Provo temple. I always thought those were weird, and I thought the movie was weird, and I thought the whole moving clothes around and untying and retying was all weird. But I kept telling myself that if I just kept going to the temple, I would eventually understand all the deeper meanings behind everything. That didn't happen, obviously.

Add me to the list. Knew nothing. Had the urge to leave when given the opportunity but didn't, with dad sitting next to me as my escort.

Escorts in the temple. Kolobian or Ziller or {name goes here} should write something on this.

I went to the temple after the 1990 changes but before the 2005 initiatory changes.

I did the typical temple prep class so I didn't know much. The teacher did spill some beans about various body parts being washed and anointed in the last temple prep class. I started freaking out because I thought that men would be touching me while naked. I talked to my mom about it. She reassured me that it would be women with no men around and that I would wear the poncho/shield. Having spent time living in Europe, I wasn't particularly shy when scantily clad around other women.

When I did the initiatory, the old lady kept her hands strictly on the side of my body. She didn't get anywhere near my loins so it wasn't particularly traumatic for me.

The main reason I was endowed was so that I could attend my younger sister's wedding. I had graduated from college so my bishop and SP were ok with letting me go. I was the oldest daughter who didn't really have desires to get married so I was a disappointment to my TBM mother. I didn't want to be excluded from my sister's wedding so I got endowed. Honestly, I wish I never went to my sister's wedding because my mother treated me like crap the entire day. She made me feel guilty for not being the first of her children to get married (I was 24) and treated me like my very presence ruined my sister's wedding. It was the worst day of my life.

I received my endowments in 1988, a couple of years before they changed the penalties. I knew absolutely nothing about the endowment ceremony beforehand, other than you would start wearing garments after it. I went through for mine the day before our wedding and was surprised that I could not sit next to my future husband. My mom and my future mother-in-law were my escorts. They did allow hubby to officiate at the veil and learn my new name...which he thoroughly hates. That's about all I remember about it. I think I was in some sort of shock by it all, causing me to block most of it from my memory...especially anything regarding the washing and anointing. It wasn't until the session before our wedding the following day that I started having some WTF moments similar to NormaRae's above: ""Oh, look, it's "Big Guy" Carlson!..." Lol.