or be in the CK with them. I never fit in in mormonism. I can't believe I put up with the treatment I got. Three of my siblings left in their teens. My nieces and nephews left in their teens. I stayed because I believed. Now, I look back and wonder why I would put up with this behavior.
We are always told that we need the milk before the meat. But when do we learn the meat? Is that in the temple? Is the gender inequality and male privilege apparent in the temple ceremony* and sealing ceremony the 'meat' that I will get? If I am required to only partake of the 'milk', will I come to a time where I be so spiritually malnourished that I move beyond the church's ability to spiritually uplift me?
*women are covenant with their husbands but the men covenant with God, women can become priestesses while their husband becomes a God, etc. and don't mention the Second Anointing...
OK, I am telling on myself. I took the Joe Smith story very seriously, especially the first vision thing. Tried it personally, many times at an early age. God never answered me. I could not figure out why. Many years later I finally figured out that what had NOT happened really was the answer.
another big question: WHAT THE HELL WOULD THESE STUPID SECRET HANDSHAKES.... AND PRETENDING TO CUT MY OWN THROAT REALLY HAVE TO DO WITH CHRISTIANITY ?
Why would they need my husband's PERMISSION for me to be baptized if we were "only separated, and not divorced?" I've been old enough to vote for nearly two decades. What does HIS opinion have to do with MY life now??
Why didn't I have the self-confidence to realize earlier that I really did know more than my loser leaders? Why defer to the judgment of close-minded bigots? Why defer to a lay bishop who knew nothing about church history?
Question 1: Why did the proverbial dog always eat Joseph Smith's homework? People didn't catch on to this? I remember several of us asking about this when I was in early morning seminary in Palmdale, CA, back in the mid-1960's. This, I think, is a hard question for many to swallow, but Mormons keep doing it despite the gag reflex.
Question 2: Why is the Book of Mormon so poorly written and contains no Mormon doctrine, yet is considered the "fullness of the Gospel?" I was always confused.
Question 3: The bait-and-switch was real obvious. How did I tolerate this as both a member and a missionary? How do so many people tolerate and even support this institutional lying? I felt so guilty but kept slogging onward.
So many questions. I can't take all day, but I could.
I asked it and it scared the poop out of me so I pretended I didn't ask. My question was why of all the religions in the world that there have ever been, is my religion the right one?
I agree with Madalice and th^s - why did i allow people to continually treat me with contempt and then go back for more, and call it god's church.
why were the leaders so BAD at leading (i did ask that question to myself) when they were called by god, thus should have been good for the position?
Didn't i think it odd, that i knew,as a teen, that if the missionaries came and told me this cock and bull story about gold plates, and first visions, i wouldn't believe them so i was glad i was a child-member. Didn't that say something???
why did i take opinions of border crossing guards and house wives as worth anything?
why did it STILL take 10 yrs from when my testimony got huge holes in it to when i left??????
At least i'm asking the questions now. Better late than never!