Nope. They never quit but i guess that means i can't either. Just ignoring them will not work i realized it just won't. What am i supposed to do? Just hide from them my whole life while they do whatever they please? Unchecked and unchallenged? F#ckin hell how powerful can one man and his voice become, i have no idea but things are f#cked and i don't like people trampling over my boundaries like i am some nobody. And this will never stop, history has proven that it won't for probably the rest of my d@mn life.

I am going to play some cards and blow off some steam. Have a good friday night.

Anger can be healthy. Once you identify your Mormon adversaries as such, and come up with boundaries for them, and learn how to deal with them assertively, you won't have to think about it so much.

Imagine how I must feel, having the Mormons harass my children and grandchildren! Imagine how those posters feel when the cult gets its hooks into a beloved spouse! I would go ballistic, if the Mormon cult destroyed a valued relationship, like that.

Another poster had a thread about this, and he said that we are probably helpless in obliterating the cult, in this generation. Especially, the LDS, Inc. cult as a wealthy business is here to stay. However, he would never give up the battle against the Mormon cult--on a personal and family level. Maybe that's all we can do right now, when we are healing, when we are struggling to keep Mormonism from tearing our families apart.

If each one of us flushes Mormonism out of our life, that can add up to a ton of members lost. I get great satisfaction out of seeing entire families resign together! Save the children!

You WILL be able to separate yourself from Mormonism. It takes concentrated effort, like you are putting into getting well, right now. None of us like Mormons trampling over our boundaries, like we are nobody. All boundaries need maintaining, and adjusting. You can't put up a wall, and have it never fall down, because life and nature and people will tear it down. Keep building it and repairing it, and moving it, when you need to. The maintenance of an established boundary is much less work than building it was.

You don't think so now, but soon you will be able to ignore the Mormons more and more. You will reach a point where you don't care what the crazy weird ones think of you.

A lot of ex-Mormons people have to move away from Utah and the Moridor. A lot of ex-Mormons, like me, have had to completely cut off all contact with toxic Mormons. I'm much happier without having to deal with my physically abusive ex-husband, my crook nephew who stole money from the family, and former fake friends in our ward, who shunned me and threatened me, and told malicious lies about me in front of my children.

"GONE!"

My favorite line in "Christmas Vacation". Griswold closes the front door on the screaming neighbor and the crazed squirrel and all the chaos. "Gone!"

I thought about it today i am going to have to completely cut off from all toxic mormon family members that affect me in anyway if i really want to get truly better. This does take a sh#tload of concentration to break free of all things and live a somewhat normal life without crazy ideals and death oaths that the people around you have taken. Their world is just too bizarre for the badass and that is the bottom line.

And the battle will have to take place on the ground. Mormonism is an ideal in the mind and is not a religion. Break the ideal and break the morg even if it takes forever. If you do not think you are in an absolute war mentally with this then you are deluding yourself and they will never respect you and keep knocking on your f#cking door every two weeks. They are breaking the law of the badass by knocking on my door over and over and disrespecting me that is all i know and i am getting meaner and meaner in my mind each time, which might be a good thing.

If you choose to be. Freedom from Mormonism has several facets. Eventually, you can be totally free in your mind. It is detachment and it is mental. Many people experience the five stages of grief after leaving Mormonism: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. How long these stages last (and they do not come in order) is very individual.

Hatred is an early stage, a normal reaction to the realization that one has been cheated out of time and money. You would be a robot not to feel anger that our righteous desire to draw closer to the Lord was exploited to support a real estate empire. Understanding the depth of historical misrepresentation can further inflame anger. Anger, like love, is a very intense form of attachment and for many, it is such a strong feeling it must be expressed and expressed until the emotion is gone.

In time we realize Mormonism is taking yet something else from you--your entitlement to a peaceful, happy life free of the burning anger from the lies and injustice. People have recovered from terrible injustices and time is an ally.

What makes recovery so much harder is the loss of family and friends. We think we are angry because of the injustice, but the truth is that more than our time and money has been stolen. Some have lost the attention and unconditional love of parents and siblings. We were entitled to that love and it was hijacked.

I firmly believe that the answer is to recenter your life around yourself and give yourself the love you deserved and did not get. Give yourself the authentic life you want and take the time to find the personality within you that was denied individuation as a teenager. It is still there! Once you find YOU and begin to reconstitute yourself, you will have an identity other than "ex-Mormon."

Ex-Mormon is an excellent starting place, much better than "Mormon" but the journey is within you. Some people are so frightened of finding out who they are. This is because of the terrible repeated conditioning we heard in Fast Meeting where people get up and say, "I shudder to think of who I would be without this church." The idea that you are a monster who is reigned in only by the grace of the LDS church is ridiculous. Yet you will see people looking at you as if they expect you to grow horns any minute.

You joined the LDS to live a better life. That's still inside you. Or you were raised to believe you were specially entitled to the better life, which was holding onto the iron rod.

The better life is inside you and you will create it through self-discovery. It is the most exciting journey of your life and who knows what talents and interests lie hidden inside you! Bon Voyage!

Best


Kathleen

Thanks kathleen.

But how do you detach without ripping your mind apart?

Badassadam1 Wrote:
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> But how do you detach without ripping your mind
> apart?


Will it really rip your mind apart? I struggled with this too. The dichotomy between Mormonism and absolute non-Mormonism is like the great gulf of Lehi's dream. I've learned just recently from comments on this board that Mormonism is a culturally ingrained part of my being that it will never completely go away. I'm beginning to be okay with that. The cognitive dissonance I've experienced all my life is also still with me. But that is something that has greatly diminished through my study over the last several years. Teachings and doctrines of the church that didn't jibe with my rational thinking gradually fell away once I made the decision to resign. My mind became more and more settled rather than being torn apart. What tore my mind apart was trying so hard to make the church align with rational thought. That effort made me crazy and now I'm moving past all of that dissonance. My mind is becoming whole and enlightened. Don't fight against what has happened because of the church. Just let it go. It's a hard thing to do because of anger and resentment, but letting go is vital to your mental health.

First of all you have to be firm.

Your home is your home. The one place you have the right and duty to yourself to feel comfortable. If you do not want anyone from the church coming over. And if they do anyway do not let them in. If they do come in and you at any time feel uncomfortable ask them to leave stand up shake their hands and thank them for coming. Show them to the door.

if they call on the phone take a nod from the church and be politely rude: IE "thank you for calling however I have no interest in anything you have to say. I am going to go now because I have better things to do. Bubb bye now" Then hang up don't let them respond.

Branch out and be comfortable in your own skin....remembering a good defense is always a strong offence.

Such as they have invited you to a Preisthood activity Saying that they love you and miss you...Tell them Thank you no but you are invited to my beer party next week. Bring a six pack

or show up to activitys THAT THEY HAVE INSISTED YOU COME TO BRING PASSSALONG CARDS FROM A ANOTHER CHURCH

When asked if they can stop over tell them only if they bring the wife ...yep cause she has a great figure.

Oh Change you phone and don't give it to the Ward clerk.

Good Luck

Well i didn't answer the door today when somebody knocked which was a first. My neighbor said it looked like someone from the church. I swear mormons only care on sundays.

You'll be free of mormonism in time but it takes that--time. Sometimes it takes as long to recover as you were in it. Converts who were in for ten years might need at least that long to recover.

It's like opening the oven to check the cake. If you keep the door open, it takes longer to cook. Let it rest at 350 degrees without opening the oven to check it so often.

Hmmm that oven analogy might be useful and it kind of makes sense to me.

I don't really want to still be recovering when i am in my sixties you know.

I know I have to figure out how to not let it trigger my PTSD when my daughter is around. So back to the therapist. He seems to be able to target exactly why I'm feeling like I do and he gives me back my focus and my strength.

NEVER would I want to be one again. I will forever want my daughter in my life. I can beat them at their own game and I know I can. I've done it before.

You'll figure out how to deal with mormonism. For sure, don't marry someone mormon so you don't have a mormon spouse or mormon children. That will be a good start. When you are capable financially, move away from TBM family (aren't you across the street) even if it is just across town so you don't have to see them all the time. Just baby steps help. I think until you can move away from living by family, you'll be on your way. You just have to be patient with yourself until you can make that move. I'm one of the luckier ones in one way. Most of my family is out. I have a disabled brother who still goes and it is good for him. They treat him well as he lives in my parents' home and ward. My sister who is still mormon I no longer speak to. But, of course, my daughter just had to be the ONLY mormon of my parents' greandchildren and great-grandchildren. Yep, the ONLY ONE. Lucky me. I'll figure this out. I know I will. And so will you. I know you will. Be patient with yourself.

Your daughter is still very young, Cl2.

She has a long time to come around. With so many of your family already out, especially you her mother ... it may even be inevitable that she will.

That would be my hope for her anyway. :)

I think when someone reaches their thirties they start to figure it out.

Even if she never leaves the church. On the way home from the airport with her father, she told him what she found wrong with the temple. I can't stop smiling. She went through the temple just before she left for Alaska--like days before--at the end of February. So she said that the temple is nothing like the church. The prayer circle made it feel cultish she said to him. She said she felt like she could discuss it with him because he had been through the temple and would understand. At this moment, I can't remember what else bothered her, but IT BOTHERED HER A LOT. I told him, "I thought you weren't even supposed to discuss it with others who had been through the temple while outside it." It is obviously bothering her. At least she didn't buy into it and here she is talking to an apostate about it, an atheist.

She spent a lot of time in here with me watching "My Fair Lady" while I have been working. Things will be okay. I feel happier than I have felt in a long time.

She also told him that when she went to Adam on whatever with her "friend"--the guy I know she should marry--she told her dad that it was ridiculous and other stuff about her church history tours.

I don't know if she'll ever leave. She gets too much positive feedback from her mormon mothers, especially "Ronda," a 62 year old woman. Better she is in Alaska so she can be away from mormons more.

I really feel a lot more lighthearted than I have felt in months and months. Things WILL BE okay.

That is very good news.

She's a bright, articulate young woman. The best hope for her is she's already figuring it out. And time is on her side.

Thanks for sharing. That's the equivalent of a 'praise report.'

:)

Yes it still bothers me that the temple is nothing like the church. That was the biggest factor of me saying see ya later.

I actually had to move to another state to feel free.
One of the best things I ever did.

I may have to move but not sure where. Don't want to go from mormonville to another mormonville. Like i did from arizona to idaho. And i want to get my neck surgery done before i move as well.

Yes, that said, it depends where you live and family being members.
Intellectually, yes, it will become a chapter of your life, with good and bad memories. Part of your journey.