I'm wondering about those who know that tssc is not the truth, yet continue to stay. Why don't you just leave? Stop going, change your phone number, etc. Is it really a dangerous thing to do?

A lot of marriages are on life support after one spouse finds the truth. If you take years to find that truth, you might want to give your spouse a good bit of time to figure it out too.

The church isn't important enough to many, and isn't even worth fighting over. Family relationships have a much higher priority, and sitting through a few meetings is worth it.

Some people in small Utah communities have to fear for their livlihood. Their customer base is all Mormon, and would shun them in a flash.

We all walk different paths and have different priorities. There is room here for everyone.

Thank you for that. I do not support LDS Inc. at all directly. I do not want to lose a loving wife because of them. They can rot in Hell even with my wife believing they hold the keys to her heaven.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/10/2015 07:57PM by Elder Berry.

You stated it very well. That would I imagine, apply to anyone living and working in the southern Alberta Moridor too. The level of distrust and scorn would be tough to endure.

Ron Burr

I was not trying to offend anyone. I was just curious. The cycle has begun in my home. My husband does not see what I see. I want to be prepared for what may come.

I can understand the familiarity factor, I am a convert and I'm finding it hard to break completely free. For example, we had missionaries over for dinner tonight. I asked questions instead of them asking. I almost felt sorry for them. My kids don't know that I have made a decision to leave. My husband tells me to wait it out. I want to do what's best for my family, but life is also very very short. Too short to do anything you don't want to do. Especially if you have already spent most of it living a very restricted lifestyle. Personally, I just don't want to waste another moment.

What does your husband mean by "Wait it out."? What does the "it" refer to? Serious question.

I just recently started going back. My 8 year old wants to be baptized. I stopped going, making excuses of being sick etc. In July, after our primary teacher praised good ol Chris Columbus. I've had my doubts about the legitimacy of the church, but have mostly kept them to myself. Afraid to voice my concerns. I've just recently voiced them to my husband. He believes the church is true. He said to continue to pray about it. We are fairly new in this ward and I don't think anyone would really miss us. It's just my kids. I'm not sure how to ease them into it without completely doubting me and my actions.

what? so you still haven't left??

It's not that easy for everyone to just leave. It's an individual process that we must handle in the manner that is best for each of us.

It's not always that easy for everyone. Sometimes the consequences of choosing to leave aren't worth it.

For example, if you're like me, and took it seriously. It's more or less a long process, to accept and adjust to the fact that you've been in a cult.

For some of us, it isn't "safe" to leave at this time. Sometimes someone in the church holds a position outside the church of authority over people and have been known to hold grudges or use what authority they have to add roadblocks or hostile environments for those that they have authority over that have left the church rather than just those that are inactive, and still are a target for "reactivation".

While the person that is being discriminated against by the LDS person in authority due to their decision to end their relationship with the LDS church may have avenues to address this harassment, the process can take a significant amount a time, the degree of harassment can be subjective and while they may in the end be found to have been correct in their assertion that they were specifically discriminated against due to their religious affiliation, or more specifically, their lack of a religious affiliation with a particular denomination, the opportunities that they have already been passed over for may no longer be available.

For me, having a uber LDS medical provider that is the only one in my area that treats my particular medical issue and knowing that in the past he has created extra hoops for a specific person that has left the church (to marry a same sex partner) in order for them to continue to receive the standard of care required for them to receive, it would be incredibly stupid of me to leave the church at this time.

Wow. That is simply a situation I couldn't tolerate. It's one thing to live an unAmerican life--no freedom of religion, living like a Saudi or a Taliban--for the sake of one's family; but an a-hole doctor, who took the Hippocratic oathe, is forcing you not to have the benefit of the very first amendment to the Constitution? Jeez. I'd find a way out. My forebears didn't fight the Revolutionary War so I could be forced into a religion by my service provider whom I PAY!

Leaving IS dangerous for some people.

But beside that point, here's a thought: Why don't THEY just leave? Why don't the people who insist on institutionalized lying (the GAs) leave, and let the church be led by people who are honest?

The Big 15 think THEY are the church. But perhaps, in reality, the body of the congregation could claim that title more accurately.


It would be vastly difficult, but it's possible the church could be reformed and renewed. Maybe not, but you can't blame people for trying.

In order for the inmates to take over the asylum there'd have to be some doctrine, some reason for existence. What would you pick, the restored gospel? Right now, it's authoritarianism, straight up--like an MLM. The objective of an MLM is to make someone rich, not to get essentials oils into the hands of a desperate public. The oil itself is nearly worthless, being overpriced and shilled by friends and neighbors is its only purpose.

LDS is same thing. Take away the authority, especially at the top, and what have you got?

To me nothing is worth staying in a cult that robs you of your soul, nothing, not family, not jobs, nothing! That's me. Like is just too short to lose your soul over some slimy child molester.

My TBM son-in-law and my daughter never went back to the temple, after their wedding day. I suspect they stopped paying tithing. My daughter is an atheist, but my SIL won't talk about church around our apostate family, but I suspect he doesn't believe, either. They lived away from the Morridor, and avoided callings. He had to work on Sundays, and hated the social activities. My daughter was homesick and liked the instant Mormon friends. But, when they moved back to Utah, they became active in their ward, and have been going to the temple for his siblings' weddings, and the weddings of Mormon friends.

Last week, my SIL came in the door with gifts for everyone (mine was a new i-phone) and announced that he was offered a new, higher-paying job--on the recommendation of some Mormons in his ward. "See--it does pay to go to church!"

The Mormons will own him and his wife and his children for life.

Yep. And this is exactly what it pays. This is the problem the Romans had with the Jews and early Christians. The Romans emphsized the point that you don't "believe" in the pantheon of gods, they exist so you can demonstrate your loyalty to the Empire, and then the Empire benefits you. It's all temporal. The Jews had this idea of religion being about the integrity of the self and belief, and it didn't express loyalty to the body politic at all. It claimed some higher authority. The Romans did not get it. Mormons do, though.

You are getting a lot of reasons. Mostly from people that see a personal risk not worth action.

There are also several people, some posters on RfM, who have taken that risk, and paid a price and advanced the discussion of the abuses and deceptions of Mormonism. Challenged authority. Stopped the BIC to BIC cycle in their immediate bloodline.

Oftentimes the heroes of causes and wars are not the ones who make it out alive to enjoy the parade and praise.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/11/2015 04:25AM by gentlestrength.

My DH was terribly upset when I left, but he has become inactive, and has been exposed to a lot of different views, and can see the church in a whole new light. I'm not sure he will ever resign, but I don't think he will go back to being active, either.

He has learned to see it through more critical lenses.

FatPanda, if you cant leave for one reason or another, but dont believe the church is in anyway true, there is an intermediate step you can take

learn to say 'No'

No, I wont clean toilets, No, I wont teach a class of 3 year olds, No, I wont spend 1 hour every night reading the book of Mormon....... and, maybe most importantly... No, I wont give you 10% of my income

call it what you like, New order Mormon, Jack Mormon, once you discover the power of this word, then your life will get better, without all the hassle of being shunned and gossiped about

it's important to remember that indoctrination took an expanse of time. Leaving is a process and it can't usually happen in an instant. Leaving takes time as does recovery.

I think staying in the church when you don't believe is not a black or white choice for a lot of people. My husband still attends but does not pay tithing, wear Gs or go to the temple. He is an extrovert and has a really hard time being alone. He does not believe the church is true. Luckily we live in an area where he hasn't been pressured to be more active. If push comes to shove he will be completely out.

Marriage, family, job security, social acceptance, fear of living in the real world, fear of being yourself.

That's from I've seen living in Utah.

This is John Dehlin's response:

"I feel like Mormonism is my heritage," he told KUER Tuesday. "It's my culture, it's my tribe, it's my identity. I don't believe my Mormonism can be taken from me by a process like this. Mormonism is bigger than the LDS Church... I still claim the title 'Mormon.'"

Reference:
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865621576/Mormon-Stories-founder-Dehlins-spread-of-false-concepts-results-in-excommunication-from-LDS.html?pg=3

This is true for many, especially those living in highly Mormon populated areas.

The power of your tribe; culture, identity, heritage is more important than the actual theology.
I think this is true for many in most religions.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/12/2015 12:52PM by SusieQ#1.