the stories and realize what I would have to do to re-up (currently excommunicated), and the royal pain in the rear the LDS church was while I was a member.
If you do decide to go back, you'll have to: 1) Sit through meetings where they leave out inconvenient details about their doctrine and history 2) Pay 10% of your gross income to the church 3) Never expect any accounting for how they spend the money 4) Participate in the suppression of LGBT people 5) Participate in the suppression of women 6) Clean buildings for a corporation with an estimated income of $5 billion 7) Spend 3 hours each week in mind-numbingly boring meetings, rehashing topics you've heard over and over 8) Not do anything fun on Sundays 9) Give up alcohol & coffee (if you drink them) and stop smoking (which you should do anyway) 10) Accept "callings" that take large amounts of time 11) Participate in the indoctrination of children (especially your own) 12) Be a home/visiting teacher, visiting people out of obligation 13) Have home and/or visiting teachers, visiting you out of obligation 14) Attend temple sessions, where you watch the SAME video time after time before practicing heavenly handshakes 15) Wear uncomfortable 1800's style underwear 16) Sing praises to a man who slept with other men's wives and 14 year old girls (thanks Invisible Green Potato) 17) Try to DEFEND that man 18) Suppress your sexuality to 1800's standards 19) Look to a group of old men for answers about what YOU think 20) Make friends that you only see at church who may seem to like you but will drop you immediately if you question the orthodoxy 21) If you're unmarried, get married in the temple with a one-size-fits-all 20 minute ritual that completely ignores your individuality 22) If you're unmarried, get married in a temple that doesn't allow non-Mormons (or even "unworthy" Mormons) to enter, even if that person is your PARENT 23) Give up large parts of this life in hope of an unproven next life 24) Teach your kids, if they happen to be girls, that their purpose in life is to submit to the will of their husband and raise children, whether or not this interests them 25) Teach your kids, if they happen to be gay, that they're expected to live a lonely, loveless life, since this is what God wants for them (and pray they don't kill themselves) 26) Use your parental love to try to force your children to follow the path you think is right, and possibly withhold love when children make wrong choices 27) Try to justify the church's past history of racism by pretending that an all-loving God didn't WANT black people to have the priesthood or go to the highest heaven 28) Adjust your priorities so that the Mormon church comes before your spouse and children
And, worst:
29) Pretend you enjoy all of the above.
Remind me what the pros are?
Edited 12 time(s). Last edit at 02/12/2015 12:45PM by Xyandro.
I never paid tithing on gross. I always paid on taxable instead. Maybe that's why I lost the spirit and kicked myself out of the church?!? (That or looking at the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. Either one.)
Assess the issues, the problems, the feelings that cause you to want to return to the LDS church and then address them. Do some work on yourself. Then, if you still want to return...
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/11/2015 06:01PM by bordergirl.
You want to reenlist in the army of he-who-cons-men? Yeah, verily even Joseph Smith Junior the treasure seeker for The Lord?
I mean I get that people join for diverse reasons not involving Moroni 10: 3-5 but when you realize the guy that founded all of this was a convicted con man AND a sexual predator how could you even remotely listen to praises to the man?
It's NOT that the church whitewashes the history. It's the history. Whitewashed or not. You've heard, "it's not the crime, it's the cover-up?" This isn't that. The cover-up is irrelevant. The cover-up is BECAUSE of the crime.
A cover-up's eclipsing the crime is when the crime is something that should have been confessed, and dealt with, but the crime itself isn't huge. This is GM not providing full data on its ignition problems. The ignition problems were bad, and should have been reported; but GM still makes cars and trucks that run despite some ignition problems.
The LDS situation is dealing with fraud. For the church to be truthful about JS, really truthful, not whitewash, is for the public to say, "What restoration? How can I believe this guy had anything to do with God?" They should go on and ask themselves, should they really believe a guy that tells them he found golden plates, but they can't look--because they'll die if they do!--anyway. Wasn't looking in a mirror and repeating "I believe in Mary Worth!" only fun in, like, third grade?
Avoiding church because it is a "pain" is not a very good reason... this is why so many Mormons think we are all just a bunch of lazy sinners.
I recommend avoiding church because it is a demonstrable fraud with zero transparency or financial accountability that holds as one of it's core tenants of salvation to be mandatory "donations" of both time and money as well as unquestioning obedience to those in power.
That I miss. Also, I miss the culture and being part of something larger than I. Don't laugh!
What I don't miss are the priesthood leaders. I used to avoid them like the plague. When active, I used to arrive late and leave early just for this reason.
I was exec after leaving the church for 9 months. Yes, they excommunicate inactive members. Odd, isn't it?
In all honesty, if you would consider returning to the Mormon church because you miss the culture and being part of something that is larger than you are ---
Why on earth are you not getting those things on your own? The world is full of groups who meet together --- many even have potlucks and parties and all sorts of other things that are at the very least, as good as what the Mormon church now does.
The world is full of immensely worthwhile activities that desperately need *your* help. Do you really think that what Mormons do in their religion is larger than:
Feeding the hungry, Helping the sick, Helping the elderly, Helping the orphans, Helping the poor, Fighting for justice, Working for international understanding, And so on and on and on.
TSCC does so painfully little of these things. But you can, every day, if you like. Join some groups who actually do some good. Give them your time and energy. Money, too, if you have any extra. I guarantee that you will find yourself swept up in something larger than you are.
And you will find a culture of friendship and companionship that is actually based on reality. Not on lies and deceit and greed.
"currently excommunicated" WOW congradutions, I just stopped going, and they forgot about me, or perhaps they are scared of me, because I know all their little dirty secrets, closet drinkers, womanizers, morning coffee at McDonald's supersized. I would love for them to call me to come to a meeting about my inactive condition, but they are so fearful of what I will tell about them to the their peers in their intervention cult meeting. Oh the blessings of living I a small town with big windows. They did try to crucify me at first but that back fired really bad all over them, and now they just run when they see me, it is very amusing to me now. If I would say boo to one of them now they would mess in their temple garments. "excommunicated" you are my hero. But please do not return to the cult of fools, it would be like a dog eating his own vomit. Just walk away proudly down the street knowing you are a free man, and you been freed from a life of endless bondage to a pack of imbeciles.
Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 02/11/2015 06:47PM by zenith.
What is it you want? self healing, community and acceptance? Where else can you find what you are looking for?
The Mormon church is a mix of a works righteousness system of paying too much to the top 15. (Imagine sucking sound of a drain as 10% disappears)
I have liked to read and listen to others that live in other philosophy and faith systems and also those that complain about those groups.
Today I am listening to a radio program about the book of Hebrews called the White Horse Inn. (protestant outlook), sio much more cheerful than the Mormon church.
I have concluded that for all beliefs that are not scientifically established, emotion forms the initial belief patterns. Then once the belief is formed, the person will look for evidence to support their belief that they have already established. And with, for example, a TBM, their single greatest "evidence" is often seen as the emotion (believed to be the "Holy Ghost") that established the belief in the first place. And so it is a closed feedback loop.
This is not unique to the LDS church, though. It is true for ALL beliefs that are not scientifically established.
The emotion that formed the initial belief patterns might be any "feel good" experience in the life of the believer-- even if from something as simple as a good family experience. A "feel good" emotion came first, then the belief was formed, then the person looked for reasons to sustain or justify the belief, and the initial emotion is usually one of the chief pieces of "evidence" to sustain or justify it. And they will ignore all contrary evidence presented.
This cycle also creates a utopian view inside of the believer of the things being believed. In the case of a TBM, they form a self-established utopian view of the "divine" mission and authority of the church.
And remember, they will ignore all contrary evidence to the decisions they have already made.
Until...
...What typically breaks the cycle is the occurrence of an observed or perceived behavior of any authority figure inside of their utopian belief structure who "behaves badly" in their estimation.
In the case of a TBM, this would be either a bishop, or a stake president, or some other authority that was observed to "behave badly" in comparison to the esteem that authority had previously been held to in the TBM's mind.
This causes an abrupt disruption in the loop, which in turn creates dissonance in the mind of the believer for them that is often sufficient for them to consider other evidence.
And once other evidence is considered, their belief structure is often altered or replaced with another one.
But, if the alternate belief structure is likewise not scientifically established, they will simply enter a new loop with a new religious belief structure, and the cycle repeats.
I really like your post but would add that it's not always a person who first cracks the belief. For me it was reality not lining up with the belief system.
why would you want to return ? it's the most negative church I've been to. I've been to many churches, they were all praise jesus worthy. the Mormon church just wasted most of the worship time worrying about masturbation and tithing and joe smith, and who does what calling.
I was x'd and went back. Trust me, you don't want to do that.
They will have you go back through your excommunication and re-live and re-hash all that old garbage that you've long gotten over. They want you to go back in time and feel like a piece of shit for the rest of your life. THEY can't get over your past, and will NEVER forgive, or let you forget it either.
The high side is that you'll NEVER be called to anything above a teacher.
They still want your money, time, energy, and want you to kiss their butts for the rest of your life. You'll always be looked down upon by your leaders. There will always be gossip about you. Your spouse and children will also be considered second class.
It just killed the leaders that I was married to a convert who was an excellent leader and a high tithe payer. They constantly hinted around that he could unload me and do better. They didn't know that he resented giving them money and wasn't the least bit interested in marrying someone younger than me that wanted a pack of kids. He's not real big on kids. lol.
We left the church together. Best thing we ever did. Once we learned the truth, it was easy to leave. The truth is that the church has huge credibility problems from the very very beginning. Do your homework, and you won't be second guessing yourself.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/12/2015 12:47AM by madalice.
madalice Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > They will have you go back through your excommunication and re-live and re-hash all that old garbage that you've long gotten over. They want you to go back in time and feel like a piece of shit for the rest of your life.
There's no real forgiveness in the Mormon church. An excommunication (along with the accompanying reason) is on your permanent church record. Everyone in your ward knows your business.
To contrast, in Catholicism you make confessions anonymously. You see the priest only as a shadowy figure, and that is how he sees you. You can drive 20 miles or more and make your confession in a completely different church if you wish. Follow the priest's directions for penance (usually saying a series of prayers,) and you're done. Forgiven. No one else in your parish will have any idea of what you've confessed unless you choose to tell them. They all go to confession as well, so it's no big deal.
While I have had some serious issues with Catholicism, at least the church understands the concept of true forgiveness. They are not out to shame your average parishioner.
Inside of 15 minutes, you'll remember why you don't want to do that anymore. Note that you are free to walk out and leave slam in the middle of Sacrament meeting.
Until you internally make a decision for yourself, the mormons could also "talk you back into it", just as well as we might be able to "talk you out of it".
Why should we talk you out of it?
What exactly do you believe or disbelieve? (Doesn't make any difference to me unless you are still paying money or going to pay money to support the sexist, racist, anti-gay machinations of the institution otherwise known as TSCC.) You need to work this out for yourself, otherwise you will always be a target for cults.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/12/2015 01:29PM by WinksWinks.