By the authority of the Prophet Tammy Monsoon (Is he still alive? I haven't been keeping up), I order all of you to give me 10% of your earnings! In all seriousness, is Boyd Sphincter Boy still alive? I haven't been on here for several months. Moved from Arizona to Florida to try to get as far away from the Satanic Moron Temples as I could (especially since they were building one in Tucson.) I've only once had missionaries come to the house and ask for Brother and Sister Smith. They found us! LOL! My wife answered the door and said no one by that name lives here. I would have let them in, offered them a beer. How is everyone?

Please pigsinzen! Some of us are trying to have a serious in-depth discussion and your light heartedness is extremely distracting and offensive. Did you learn nothing in the temple?

However, since you asked Dallin is delirious over the last chopping, I mean love court for Dehlin. Boyd is confused and said he didn't even know Dehlin had a problem with masturbation, and Tammy is nodding and smiling so everyone will know he's still "got it."

I sincerely apologize for potentially promoting loud laughter. I shall whip myself in shame. Fortunately for me I never got far enough to go to the temple except to be baptized in the name of dead people, most of whom were probably made up.

Never been to the temple! This will not do.

Let me help you. Imagine yourself in a white room and you are wrapped in yards and yards of white fabric. Now, throw your hands in the air and murmur "pay lay ale, pay lay ale, pay me the money."
Close your eyes and see the upside down pentagrams on the wall and go "huh?" then pantomime slitting your throat with one hand while you disembowel yourself with the other and all the while you hear Elohim's voice saying "Won't someone tell me what's going on?" and he keeps saying that over and over pleading with someone, anyone, to "return and report" until finally Lucifer tells him what' going on.

There. Consider yourself endowed. Oh, your new name is Janet. I know you're male, but today there was a very elderly temple worker giving out the names, so you're Janet. Sorry. God doesn't make mistakes.

And now in closing, I am sending you a virtual feel up, I mean, anointing with oil.

Now move along and make way for the next group of the overly endowed.