Talked to a cousin of mine who just got home from his mission and it brought back to me how much of a complete weirdo I was when I got home from my mission/

It is so embarrassing now to think about at all the completely stupid, ridiculous, and embarrassing things I did that I thought were totally normal and appropriate.

Some examples:

I once ended a date with a prayer in the car. (I cringe when thinking about it).

2 weeks after coming home some friends took me on a trip to lake powell. There were girls there, 1 of them was talking to me on the beach at night and I thought I'd show her how spiritual I was by pulling out the BoM and telling her that I needed to read for at least 15 minutes every day and that she should read with me. She played along but I'm sure thought I was insane.

The first girl I dated regularly (about a month after getting home) was not a good fit for me at all. However, I automatically considered marrying her and told myself that the lord led her to me.

It took me a solid year to stop being so weird, 15 years later and I still get a kick of embarrassment thinking about how weird I was.

Anyone else come back home a total idiot?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/27/2015 12:37PM by brucermalarky.

I went straight from Mexico City to BYU to register, and was taken to a dance at the Wilkinson Center by my last senior comp and I made a big deal about not being able to talk to females, much less dance, because I hadn't yet been released.

What a goon I was...

I did have one date at the Y end with prayer. This fine young lady had enthusiastically lead me into a satisfying dry humping session, and then had been assailed with guilt...

So we prayed. That was less satisfying.

"Oh Lard!"

"Oh Gawd!"

"Oh My Heavens!"

Sounds like praying to me...

~Breedum

The only thing I carried over was shaking everyones hand when I met them. Non-mormons and women seemed a little confused by it.

Other than that, it felt good to not have to follow the misionary routine. I had no trouble dropping that.

The last island I served on was Jamaice and my parents flew there to pick me up...they had never done a trip like that in their entire marriage. I wasn't released yet, but my Bro. in law, who was my stake president, told me to swim, have fun, etc....just be careful....no devil is in the water stuff.

In France, you greet and leave everyone with handshake or a cheek kiss (bisous). You only do the cheek kiss if you know them well, and missionaries weren't allowed. We were used to shaking everyone's hands when you met them and when you left.

You just reminded me of a date (one of the worst I've ever been on) I had with a guy just off his mission. His brother lined us up. He thought I'd snap his brother out of his after mission weirdness.

He asked me to particpiate in a prayer at the end of the date. I went along with it just because I wanted to get the date over with.

I stole the paper off the seat that had my phone number and address on it. His brother asked me later if he could have my number again as his brother had lost it. I said no.

My weirdo phase was right before my mission when I tried to convert my friends and acted like I was about to embark on some solemn adventure.

By the time I got back I was so disillusioned that I told the stake president to meet me that tonight to release me. He gave me some bullshit interview and then told me that I had been a great missionary. I told him he didn't even know me (he didn't) and he looked shocked.

I didn't even want to talk about my mission.

Within two weeks of my release in the middle of August, 1962, I started my freshman year at BYU and lived in Helaman Halls.

Needless to say, I fit right in with all the other weirdo's.

I read your post and thought, hey I was just getting back back from my mission and enrolling in BYU in 82 also, didn't live in Helaman (but did for one year before the mission) and then I saw it was 62, not 82, and then I thought "thank you for making me feel young again, even if it was for just a few minutes."

:-)

You are very welcome.

One of my friends returned from his mission recently, and he was definitely very weird and different. I was worried he'd be like that forever, but after a couple of weeks he returned back to normal.

My worst experience with this was when I was taking a public speaking course in college while preparing to go on my mission. One of the assignments was to give a speech that was motivational. I gave a the speech on the evils of tobacco, caffeine, alcohol, and the fact that everyone who uses them only does so as a way of fitting in with the wrong types of people. At the time, I noticed blank stares from all of the other people in class, but saw that as a sign that they were not capable of feeling the spirit. I can't help but cringe looking back on that.

I have this theory that returned missionaries should never marry the first or second person they date after their missions. RM's tend to latch on to the first available option and if they lock themselves in before realizing they have options it can lead to a horrible situation...

I have this theory that no one should ever marry without living together for at least 12 months first.

SO your theory works with mine just fine. ;-)

Although my mission was exhausting I always stretched the rules and were mostly "grey" - but I tried to stay somehow authentic. So I wasnt that weird in this way and had no problem to interact propperly with the oppodite gender - but what really fucked me off in the beginning was my 24/7 shadow and what made me totally mad and fucked me off when I come home was the lack of a 24/7 shadow. Also the same with this planned trough day. It took for me like forever to readjust myself to a working daily schedule.

However I was one of those who actually never spoke the native language for this 18 months and I really ended up with missing words. I am still more familiar with gospel stuff in my mission language than in my native language. I felt superdumb and like an idiot especially when I was with nonmember folks.

When I got home for my mission I went to my first stake dance and met a newly-converted girl from the singles ward. I danced with her and it felt so good to hold a girl, since I hadn't held one in years. I got a huge, uncontrollable woody. I was super embarrassed. I had to stop dancing with her because I was sure she could tell. I think she did now and she wanted to continue dancing anyway.

I had to leave the dance because I felt so uncomfortable. What a weirdo.

I heard once that a returned missionary is someone who can only talk about the church but think only about girls. That was me.

Granted, he grew up a lot and was much more responsible.

But he had been a happy-go-lucky, chatterbox of a kid before, and after he came home, he was - and has remained - solemn and says very little. He promptly married one of the first girls he dated, in the temple, of course, and the marriage is apparently still happy, after more than a decade. But I still miss the sunny-natured boy we sent on a mission.

One of his closest friends acted REALLY weird after he got home. This boy had been outgoing and very popular before his mission. After he got home, at least, at first, he acted like he was cringing whenever anybody said anything to him. He eventually grew out of this, but like our son, he was never quite the same again.

wow these posts are interesting...

Some come home way different than how they were when they left and some may stay this "new" way for a long time...


...and TBMs are just fine w/this...their beloved "church" basically rearranging their kids' personalities and it all is so "spiritual".


It's just another form of abuse heaped onto the TBM kids by their parents

I was as odd as a three dollar bill when I got home.

I cringe when I think back to those times. The year following my mission was easily the worst of my life. It took me a good 12 months to unfuck myself. Probably took another 4-5 years after that before I could have considered myself to be somewhat normal again.

I returned from my mission around twenty years ago and so have been thinking about it lately. I guess when I returned I was kind of weirdo now that I think about it.

On the evening of my return my home ward was having some sort of ward picnic or something and so my parents thought it would be a great idea to go to it with them so all the ward members could welcome me back.

But, I told them that I had just spent two years doing nothing but church activities and I didn’t want to spend my first evening back just going to another one. At the time, I really just wanted to go out see what had changed in the Utah town I grew up in and see some old friends.

However, from my parents perspective they thought that it was pretty weird!

Needless to say I went inactive pretty quickly after I returned. My church attendance started falling in tandem with my growing realization that the promise that the girls would be falling all over a RM was exaggerated at best!

I remember feeling very lonely at first because I didn't have a companion. I also remember being so shy when talking to girls that my whole face turned red.

I grew out of it after about a year. Still crazy to think my mission left me so socially backward. I was outgoing and normal before my mission, but all the rejection and brain washing in Sweden had a heavy impact on my self esteem.

Yeah, weird! I recall speaking in church and complaining that I had gone frrom doing the most important work in the world (mission) to stacking boxes at Cutter Labs. Turns out stacking boxes was more important.

A larger question is, Upon leaving the church as adults-Did the church leave you strange, and how much weirdness is left? How much is just you? I still feel at a disadvantage sometimes socially because of my background. Anyone else?

RM behavior...

When I was new to BYU, one of the guys I dated invited me over for dinner. It turned out it was me and his 5 other RM roommates. Being comfortable around men, I talked and laughed with them over dinner... The next night I dropped off a pie as a thank you-the pie was from Marie Calendars, in the box with the big logo...

A few days later, my date showed up at my place with an old mission companion. We were talking and the guy said, "I heard you bake great pies!" My date was busted. I wanted to say, "Not unless my name is Marie Calendar." I knew I had to break up, immediately. =(

> Some examples:
>
> I once ended a date with a prayer in the car. (I
> cringe when thinking about it).

Oh that took me back!! I had completely forgotten about a day I had with this RM about a million years ago until I read this!
After our date, I was dropping him off at his place (he didn't have a car)when he invited me in to read scriptures before I head home....Really?! You'd think he might have been trying to get me to come in so he could "bust a move" or something, but he was SERIOUS, he really want to read the scriptures together!
Needless to say, I didn't go in, but I sure had a good laugh on the way home!

So don't cringe over it to much, you surely weren't the only one!