While reflecting on another post, I realized I was an asshole on my mission at times. To be fair, the cultural differences I had with almost all my comps (all latin except for three transfers) were tough at times, but I was a self righteous little prick. I sincerely regret this, and wish I could do it over. Well, not over, because I wouldn't do it again, but I wish I was less of an asshole.

Apart from the obvious (not wanting to repeat it) what do you regret from your time on the mish?

Not staying in touch with some of the nice people I met (not missionaries). As soon as I got home, they were all in my rearview window...some deserved better.

...for two main reasons. First, my father was a know-it-all who liked to think he was the smartest man on earth, and his attitude rubbed off on me and my siblings. Second, I was from the "mission field," as opposed to being from the Mormon corridor. My parents didn't raise me to go on a mission, and I wasn't intimidated into going, like so many of the BIC guys were. So I thought I was just a little bit superior.

Third, I was raised to work hard and take on responsibilities from a very young age. Throughout my childhood and my life in general, I was always picked by someone or other to be a leader over something, even though I didn't feel like that was my persona. I guess I just have a certain look, or give off a certain vibe which causes people to mistakenly believe that I'm more capable of doing things or running things than the average person. So that situation probably made me seem like a jerk too.

I was also pretty much a rule-following straight arrow, so I guess that contributed to my jerkiness too. I had problems with a couple of my early missionary companions because I was too straight arrow, too take-charge, and too condemning of less-than-expected performance. But about halfway through my mission, I had mellowed out and matured, and I was easier to get along with later on. So in that regard, maybe my mission experience was good for helping me mature and get along better with people.

The two things I regret most about my mission, other than being a jerk at times: first, I regret just knocking on peoples' doors and bothering them about religion. It's such a stupid, annoying thing to do. I mean, nobody likes it when JWS knock on your door, so we Mormons should have realized that nobody liked us either. Most Australians are so laid back and satisfied with their lot in life already. I feel bad for spending two years trying to turn otherwise happy people into obedient cult followers.

My other big regret is not doing more sightseeing etc. For instance, my last four months, I lived less than an hour from a national park with rainforests and spectacular waterfalls, and I didn't see it.

I regret that I didn't do more fun things than I did. I always had that idea of letting down the MP or worse, God. But, there were times I did things and it really never bothered me.

Went to movies once in a while. I had comps who weren't workers from time to time. So, I'd make a deal that if we tracked 4 hours today, we'd go see a movie or go back to the apartment and take a nap. On several occasions, the missionary apartments were owned by non-members who let us have access to their living areas. Odd. Anyway, I could watch TV, play music, read good books (non-religious).

I guess in the Mormon world I would just have described a terrible missionary. If that's the case, then I'm happy with it. We still got production. Several baptisms here and there but, I always felt like I was preying on the emotionally vulnerable people. I mean, we never baptized anyone who was wealthy or had made it in life. It was always some poor soul who had lost the lottery of life somewhere in their past. OTOH, sometimes we'd make friends with wealthy members who'd buy us passes to the gym. We'd play racquetball, soak in the sauna, and lift weights once or twice a week.

Trust me, all of the above was not worth two years of my life but, it made it bearable and at least palatable.

Cake

Jesus, I am so insanely jealous of your experience. I followed every rule, and clashed hard with comps who didn't want to do so. I worked my ass off just about every day, and days I didnt I was wracked with guilt. What I wouldn't give to have tried to have fun once in awhile.

If I had been your comp during the first half of my mission, you would have been able to force your will and walk all over me. You'd have loved it.

But if we had been comps during my last 8 months out? It would have been hell for you. You'd have been crying in frustration. I would have flipped you off every single day and then laughed in your face. The MP was very smart not to pair me with a hard@$$ during that period. Even the APs didn't mess with me then.

peter - do you know if anyone from your mission has left the church? Because if even my very worst companion called me, told me she was an exmo and wanted to reconnected, I swear - all would be forgiven and I'd be grateful for another exmo friend. I'd be totally willing to start over.

You did the best you could at the time with what you knew. Now that you know better, you are doing better. That's a great thing and most good people are willing to cut people some slack when they see other good people starting over.

No companions of mine. I know a couple guys who have, but they were guys I liked. I really didn't ever clash with anyone but comps. I made friends easily.

I do have a comp (probably my favorite) who is pretty inactive, but still sadly quite the momo sheep. I'm not sure why he won't look any further. Probably just scared.

I agree that if anyone approaches me and says, "hey, I'm Exmo too!" I would instantly see them in a different light.