Recovery Board
: RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum.
I am starting to see an unusual request to visit me and phone calls have been made. I can't give specifics as because its too obvious. My wife and I are seeing too much activity coming our way by the church. I suspect my family has called my stake to report my change. I have gone by a different name in here but I am changing it just in case.
Any success stories out there on how to handle this?
Any success stories out there on how to handle this?
I'm so sorry. I can't directly advise you, but, myself, I've got a letter to Bishop that is ready to mail if need be. That way you do have documentation in which your request was submitted. Good luck to your family.
What is the purpose of that anyways? To make it look like I wasn't fornicating and that I actually asked to leave?
Sorry if my response was incorrect. Maybe, i just misunderstood what you were saying. Again, sorry.
deb Wrote:
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> Sorry if my response was incorrect. Maybe, i just
> misunderstood what you were saying. Again, sorry.
Don't be sorry. Be surly.
It's the only way to deal with mormons. They don't handle confrontations well, especially when you give them no authority or power over you.
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> Sorry if my response was incorrect. Maybe, i just
> misunderstood what you were saying. Again, sorry.
Don't be sorry. Be surly.
It's the only way to deal with mormons. They don't handle confrontations well, especially when you give them no authority or power over you.
Be an adult.
Set some boundries and stick to them.
You know that the mormons will keep taking as much as you give them, so stop them.
My parents showed up at my place for a visit, and it finally snapped in my mind..."this is my house, my rules." So I had a cooler with dinner. They were mad, but so what? I cannot be responsible or control how other people feel.
Set some boundries and stick to them.
You know that the mormons will keep taking as much as you give them, so stop them.
My parents showed up at my place for a visit, and it finally snapped in my mind..."this is my house, my rules." So I had a cooler with dinner. They were mad, but so what? I cannot be responsible or control how other people feel.
Lather, rinse, repeat. Even if it's within the same conversation.
They will continue to contact you until long past the time they should have given up, because they "know" at some point you won't have plans.
"I'm not interested, leave me alone" might work.
"Here, give this resignation to the bishop" is very likely to work. Even that is not 100% guaranteed to work, but it's about as good a guarantee as you can get.
"I'm not interested, leave me alone" might work.
"Here, give this resignation to the bishop" is very likely to work. Even that is not 100% guaranteed to work, but it's about as good a guarantee as you can get.
This is gutsy, and "in your face" and some say, over the top. But it works!
Only used it once!
NOTICE:
I am under no obligation to:
avoid all loud laughter,
lightmindedness,
evil speaking of the lords anointed
or any other impure or unholy practice
Enter at you own risk
Rachel, My New Name
I put it on the inside of the window in my door then I watched the Mormons (missionaries that were pestering us) that came to my door read it! It was priceless.
For those that have been to the temple, this statement is from The Law of the Gospel, one of the temple covenants. As the temple is so sacred it is not to be discussed, seeing this statement on a door can be quite a shock! And humorous.
It's a HUGE NO NO to discuss or repeat any of the covenants in the temple.
Law of the Gospel: We are required to give unto you the Law of the Gospel as contained in the Holy Scriptures; to give unto you also a charge to avoid all lightmindedness, loud laughter, evil speaking of the Lord's anointed, the taking of the name of God in vain, and every other unholy and impure practice, and to cause you to receive these by covenant.
REST HERE:
http://www.lds4u.com/lesson5/templecovenants.htm
Only used it once!
NOTICE:
I am under no obligation to:
avoid all loud laughter,
lightmindedness,
evil speaking of the lords anointed
or any other impure or unholy practice
Enter at you own risk
Rachel, My New Name
I put it on the inside of the window in my door then I watched the Mormons (missionaries that were pestering us) that came to my door read it! It was priceless.
For those that have been to the temple, this statement is from The Law of the Gospel, one of the temple covenants. As the temple is so sacred it is not to be discussed, seeing this statement on a door can be quite a shock! And humorous.
It's a HUGE NO NO to discuss or repeat any of the covenants in the temple.
Law of the Gospel: We are required to give unto you the Law of the Gospel as contained in the Holy Scriptures; to give unto you also a charge to avoid all lightmindedness, loud laughter, evil speaking of the Lord's anointed, the taking of the name of God in vain, and every other unholy and impure practice, and to cause you to receive these by covenant.
REST HERE:
http://www.lds4u.com/lesson5/templecovenants.htm
That happened to me, too. After my husband and I moved last year, we got a visit from a home teacher in that area's ward. He was really confused when we said we weren't LDS, and said "someone who really loved us" had called to check on us and make sure the ward knew about us. Our response? We sent in our resignation letters the next day and let our family know about it.
Here is my usual advice on this topic FWIW:
REMEMBER FIRST that your sense of boundaries is still warped by your years in TSCC. You have all this unnecessary anxiety that you cannot shake -- I relate so well.
Mormonism is complete bullshit. these people have no power, authority or truth. Your boundaries are yours to manage and own -- you owe TSCC nothing.
OK now after the perspective check, my advice is to just keep SMILING and decline everything, and keep SMILING and provide no information about your position or status.
Examples:
DownLow can we come by for a visit? (smiling) Thanks but we're good, but you're nice for asking, I'll let you know when it's convenient!
Are you available to meet with BP/SP/EQP? (smiling) Not at the moment but we will let you know when we are available, thanks!
DL we have missed you at church and it seems like something is going on, what is it? (smiling) Oh thanks for being concerned but really things are great and we are managing several priorities and it is working out very well for us!
Oh really like what? (smiling) Well mostly family personal matters, no emergencies or anything!
But how is your testimony doing? (smiling) I have always been committed to the truth, you know that!
Well can we help you with anything? (smiling) Thanks for asking, I'll let you know if there is anything, BYE!
You get the idea. Keep smiling. Be happy and friendly. Reveal nothing and agree to nothing. It drives the TBMs wild, but because you are not reacting and hiding out they are not switched into "rescue" or "love-bomb" mode.
If you get love-bombed it is easy to turn this around: "Oh wow, what are you doing?? This casserole is very sweet but SO unnecessary! Isn't there some needy people in the ward who could really use help? We''re FINE!"
IMO if you go into "hiding" they will try to rescue you. If you announce your disaffection or seek "counsel" with the bishop, you will be officially in the system and it really depends on the disposition of local leadership what will happen. Some locals are cool and leave you alone, others are pricks and will get out high pressure tactics and threats. In any case, getting into the "system" means you will be on the list of projects, you will be discussed in PEC and perhaps other meetings, and you will not be able to avoid either confronting TSCC or putting up with the pestering.
REMEMBER FIRST that your sense of boundaries is still warped by your years in TSCC. You have all this unnecessary anxiety that you cannot shake -- I relate so well.
Mormonism is complete bullshit. these people have no power, authority or truth. Your boundaries are yours to manage and own -- you owe TSCC nothing.
OK now after the perspective check, my advice is to just keep SMILING and decline everything, and keep SMILING and provide no information about your position or status.
Examples:
DownLow can we come by for a visit? (smiling) Thanks but we're good, but you're nice for asking, I'll let you know when it's convenient!
Are you available to meet with BP/SP/EQP? (smiling) Not at the moment but we will let you know when we are available, thanks!
DL we have missed you at church and it seems like something is going on, what is it? (smiling) Oh thanks for being concerned but really things are great and we are managing several priorities and it is working out very well for us!
Oh really like what? (smiling) Well mostly family personal matters, no emergencies or anything!
But how is your testimony doing? (smiling) I have always been committed to the truth, you know that!
Well can we help you with anything? (smiling) Thanks for asking, I'll let you know if there is anything, BYE!
You get the idea. Keep smiling. Be happy and friendly. Reveal nothing and agree to nothing. It drives the TBMs wild, but because you are not reacting and hiding out they are not switched into "rescue" or "love-bomb" mode.
If you get love-bombed it is easy to turn this around: "Oh wow, what are you doing?? This casserole is very sweet but SO unnecessary! Isn't there some needy people in the ward who could really use help? We''re FINE!"
IMO if you go into "hiding" they will try to rescue you. If you announce your disaffection or seek "counsel" with the bishop, you will be officially in the system and it really depends on the disposition of local leadership what will happen. Some locals are cool and leave you alone, others are pricks and will get out high pressure tactics and threats. In any case, getting into the "system" means you will be on the list of projects, you will be discussed in PEC and perhaps other meetings, and you will not be able to avoid either confronting TSCC or putting up with the pestering.
My family reported me when I moved away from home.
They really don't give up, or take the hint. One time, some of the elders quorum showed up at my place so while my roommate answered the door and told them I wasn't home, I hid behind the curtains in the front window with my back to them.
Think they got the hint? No. They came back repeatedly over the next few months on a weekly basis.
They really don't give up, or take the hint. One time, some of the elders quorum showed up at my place so while my roommate answered the door and told them I wasn't home, I hid behind the curtains in the front window with my back to them.
Think they got the hint? No. They came back repeatedly over the next few months on a weekly basis.
The letter in my PO Box promoted my resignation within that week.
what did your family "report" to the church?
People can only "hang" you with the rope that you give them. If you're around those with a propensity for hanging you, DON'T GIVE THEM ANY ROPE.
Information is usually the rope. Give them none.
Like just about every other BIC on this board, I've had major boundary issues. It helped when I started seeing missionaries and TBM visitors as the salespeople that they are. And, I don't want or need what they're selling. Period.
However you would handle a telephone solicitation or door-to-door person, do that. You've handled this before. They're no different...well maybe a REALLY persistent salesperson.
Information is usually the rope. Give them none.
Like just about every other BIC on this board, I've had major boundary issues. It helped when I started seeing missionaries and TBM visitors as the salespeople that they are. And, I don't want or need what they're selling. Period.
However you would handle a telephone solicitation or door-to-door person, do that. You've handled this before. They're no different...well maybe a REALLY persistent salesperson.