I just remembered for the first time since it happened and it's a mindfuck!!

It is very blurry for me, much like the porn I was about to watch.

I figured out I was 6 years old. I went over to my friends house. A couple of my friends were already there. I just remember seeing them on the stairs giggling. One friend was thrusting on the stairs. Next memory is staring at maybe a 12' by 12' tv with a black and white negative of penetrating sex. If you added penis and vagina and vigorous movement it looked like a video of this. (SFW)

http://wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com/blogs/drishtikone/files/afterimage-negative-woman-jpg_002600.jpg

Right now I just recall emotions of fear, excitement, and adrenaline. I think I was too young to understand and apparently didn't think twice upon it despite my very TBM upbringing.

Suddenly I find myself developing an apparently deep seeded and perverse interest in photo negative porn. ;)

I know all my friends were a couple of years older than me. My parents later told me a large part of why they moved was because they thought they were a bad influence. Can't argue with that now.

What was your first encounter with porn and what was it like?

I can't remember a singular very first time, but I remember when I first had nudey mags and looking at them was a very intense, awesome feeling. Contrary to popular belief porn never turned me into a rapist, child molester, or even a horrible homosexual. It was all just good, clean, coming of age fun. Porn and masturbation were such a wonderful part of my youth.

My very first was when I was 10 or 11. I was in a chat room with a friend there with me. We were pretending to be older and some woman decided to send a picture. We didn't know it was a nude until we opened it - right as my mom came in the room! She wasn't thrilled, but let it go because it was obvious we weren't expecting it. I managed to save the picture my emailing it to myself. I had it for a few years until I deleted it after feeling guilty shortly after EFY.

My other notable experience, roughly around the same time:

There was this... wasteland? I guess in the woods near my house behind a roller rink. It had a pond that had a barrel in it (the kind that oil comes in) and scraps of concrete along with a huge pile of dirt. The location has since been turned into a small housing development.

Anywho, I was wondering around and found a magazine. It had been torn apart really well, but I glanced through. I tore a single picture out, stashed it in my pocket, then went home to... "examine" it. I kept it around for a month or so.

Edit: now that I think about it, I'm not entirely certain which of these events took place first.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/07/2015 01:49AM by koolman2.

My first memory of porn is a picture I found from a magazine when I was about 10 or 11...I'm not sure at all where it came from, but I remember it very vividly. It was a line of young men (maybe 10 or 12 of them) with erections standing in front of an older woman who was examining them.

I hid the picture in my bedroom and looked at it many times before becoming afraid somebody else (parents?) would find it and so I destroyed it. However...that image is still very vivid and erotic to me. Go figure.

None of these three books were porn...but they certainly had an identical effect on me...and I don't know which book was "first," or how old I was at first, when I discovered them. (Maybe as young as five or six...maybe as old as seven or eight.)

1) My Dad, originally an electrician who later became an engineer in medical technology, had acquired some medical textbooks from one of his jobs as an electrician. One of them was titled EMERGENCY SURGERY, and inside that book were things in some ways sort of familiar to me, and in other ways, totally exotic and enticing. What I really remember were the line drawings of male genitalia...except that, because this was a textbook for physicians in emergency medicine, there was not an intact penis in the entire book (there were some intact testicles, though some were also injured, etc. and not as nature originally intended).

There would be mostly half of a penis (length-wise) on one page (the result of an industrial or car accident, etc.), and an exploded penis on another page, and so on. Since there was not a single healthy, intact penis in the entire book, I spent hour after hour (year after year ;) ), trying to "reconstruct" the various penii as they had been BEFORE they became subjects in an emergency surgery book. From the EMERGENCY SURGERY book I also learned of the amazing variety of objects which can be inserted up the anus and which might very well result in a hurried visit to the nearest hospital emergency room, but the one I have NEVER forgotten is the intact, long-stemmed, crystal wine glass that was fully inserted (willingly!) into some man's anus and then had to be V-E-R-Y carefully removed by the emergency room doctor. The lesson I still carry with me to this day is: Never, never, EVER allow a stemmed wine glass to be inserted into your anus (no matter HOW drunk you are!)...because you will most definitely NOT like the results!

(And, yes, there were also line drawings of female genitalia...but after a first go-through, I wasn't all that interested in them. I did learn the real facts of where babies "came from" however, so that counts as solid, valuable education.)

2) My maternal grandparents had a copy of one of Krafft-Ebbing's books, and a Havelock Ellis book, SEXUAL INVERSION, in their garage, and the Ellis book, in particular, was written in narrative style, about different sexual encounters that various kinds of---sort of "disreputable"---males had had (I don't recall any stories about females at all)...

...like hobos who followed the railroads, and what we would today call homeless boys and men. (In other words, the presentation of the narrative in these two books would lead the reader to believe that homosexual acts between men only happen in the "lower classes," and NEVER among "respectable" people...even though all of us know full well that, if anything, this is exactly opposite to reality: gay sex occurs MOST among gay and bisexual males in the uppest of "UPPER" classes: royalty, nobility, heads of state, the prosperous upper classes, the well-to-do middle classes, and ANYTHING creative: theatre, music, dance, prose, films, etc.

In any case, I was---among my age peers---something of an expert on male anatomy (well...PARTIAL male anatomy, anyway ;) ), AND male-to-male sexuality in all of its multitude of variations, by third or fourth grade.

It took me until I was sixteen before I could begin to put SOME of that knowledge to practical use. ;)

The books above were all intended to be extremely serious texts though...so I don't know if they qualify as "porn" or not...but they certainly DID have "porn" effects on me!!!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/07/2015 02:43AM by tevai.

Porn turned me off. My husband brought home some videos, and I was curious, but after a few minutes of each video, I felt more like doing the dishes, than having sex. I didn't like the way the women were objectified. As a woman, I like making love, not just having sex. It's about fun, and love, for two really close friends--not about group perversion, pain, and humiliation. Maybe a story line, role-playing, or dialog, or interesting characters would have made it less crude. It was obvious that this porn was made by men for men.

I wouldn't let my husband touch me for many days, after that.

I'm not overly concerned about porn. It has always been around, and it is no big deal.

I will say this: It was a lot more interesting than the POS BoM, but then again, Isn't everything?!

The first time I encountered hard core porn it was an epithany for me. Because I thought: "Oh my God! Women enjoy sex just as much as men do!"

Seeing porn actually removed some damaging Mormon inspired nonsense from my mind.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/07/2015 07:25AM by matt.

alma the anon Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Suddenly I find myself developing an apparently
> deep seeded and perverse interest in photo
> negative porn. ;)

lol @ Freudian slip

When I read that the first time, I was deeply seated.

I've logged out for this because it's an embarrassing family secret and because, while it had nothing to do with me per se, I've been thoroughly shamed by others in the church and family.

My father and mother produced porn back in the 1950s and before and possibly after, I'm not sure. My father had two large Army footlockers full of his porn. He had a full up dark room and a couple of professional cameras, and when I finally stumbled across some of the pictures I saw that some of the men and women (particularly the women) were friends of ours. So I first came across this when I was 5 or 6. Being very young I didn't think much of it and forgot about it until I was about 12.

I would be very very careful when I removed it and put it back, to put it back into the same order I took it out. There were large 8X10 and 11X14 glossy prints of people having sex, women spreading legs and stuff like that. Once I showed a friend. A couple of years later when I had a fight with that friend, he brought several others who broke into my house one night and took a whole bunch of the stuff and I got into trouble for it. I found out later that the guys took it up on a nearby hill and just stuffed the pictures in the bushes and jerked off to the pictures now and then. When I found out I went to get them but the rain and weather had ruined them so I just left them.

Later on my dad got into trouble for something not porn related, and police came over and took away all the rest of his porn. By this time he was a broken old guy anyway and he died shortly after. I'm not sure why they thought his porn was related, but it might have still been considered illegal. He may have also had child porn in it.

DW thinks that this is related to why I left the church. My dad was into porn, drank a lot, parents smoked. Therefore I was a sinner and left the church. It doesn't matter that people on her side of the family smoked and some were alcoholic, and one published pornographic stories and died of a drug overdose. Nooo. Quite simply, my family is polluted but her family is upstanding pioneer stock. But you know Mormons. That's just how they think.

Correction.

It's how they judge. Thought plays no part.

About 1972, at a non-LDS scout camp, picture about ten 12 year old scouts piled in a tent checking out the Playboys a kid brought from home (his Dad's).

For years after that, would find magazines along the road or my older brother's stash under their beds or in ceiling of basement, or in glove box of junked cars, or......

Then my dad worked at a lumber mill, and I always enjoyed going there and seeing nudie pictures plastered all over walls in the shop and elsewhere. I would work there a summer after my mission and Playboys were stacked in the lunchroom, and I eventually succumbed. Wish I could have enjoyed it more.

Now I realize that yes, manly men like looking at women. Just like women like to "objectify" men and look at their wallet.

They were hidden in a chest at the foot of my aunt and uncle's bed. I have no memory of how or why I was in the house alone.

I read the letters. All of them. And based on that crap info, I was like, "I am NEVER having sex." The letters probably made the men happy, but they scared the shit out of me. Later I realized that it was the same lie over and over and over. I was squicked (that's a combination of "squee" and "ick"). Talk about confused. It was my first experience of be repelled and titilated at the same time.

Some boys in my 6th grade class had Penthouse and Hustler magazines. I was just embarrassed. (I didn't think Playboy was porn, no matter what they said at church.)

In my adolescence, I had a non-mo friend who told me her dad had stacks of Penthouses. I didn't know what to think, so I just put it on a shelf for a bit.

One night, she invited me to spend the night and we hung out watching Vampire Hunter D. I remembered what she told me before and asked if her dad really had all those magazines and if we could look at them. She laughed, turned around and pulled out something like 6 or 7 magazines from behind the couch.

I picked one and perused through it; The one photo I thought was odd was the picture of a woman's derriere holding a tampon near her vulva. After looking through the pics for a few minutes, the guilt creeped in after staring at a spread of several women's vulvas (if you didn't know, that is the appropriate term for women's outer genitalia, the vagina is the inner part.) I told her in a sick voice, "I don't want to look at these anymore." She asked why and I said, "It's making me feel gross."

The amusing part is now I don't have much of an issue with porn as long as everyone is willing and of age, she's now a serious Christian who thinks the world is evil.

A couple years later, I babysat for a very earthy couple who had nudes on their walls and copies of "The Joy of Sex," "The Joy of Sex II," and Playboys in plain sight where their two boys could see them, pick them up and learn. They also had HBO where I watched the movie version of Dracula, which I'm pretty sure helped awaken my desires ;)

I'll always be grateful to those parents because I wouldn't have learned about the real mechanics and intricacies of sex without that media. I still recommend TJOS to young couples and bought a copy for a jack-mo friend who was getting married years after these events.

I think that not teaching children about sex, their bodies and changes in puberty is a form of abuse. It creates an environment that allows predators to abuse the naive and the uneducated with little justice.

Used to stay at My Aunt and Uncles in the summers in Utah when I was 12.

There was an upstairs bathroom with a pile of mags. Saw my first playboy and took it home. What I did find bizarre was the fact my Aunt and Uncle were very TBM...they had some German Nazi bondage "tie you up" kind of mags some were illustrated mags and others were black an white photos. Weird shit I tell ya...Domination type krap.
Long story short it didn't turn me or them into pervs as far as I know.

When I was younger, the closest thing I had to porn was a meager collection of fairly tame romance novels. In reality, I didn't enjoy them very much. I was curious, though, and, at the time, they seemed more "exciting" than most of the young adult fiction on the shelves. I still wasn't sure about the actual mechanics of sex, however. I lived in a Christian household. For the most part, my parents weren't overly strict or anything. Sex just wasn't something they felt comfortable discussing, generally. Eventually (I'm pretty sure that I was about eleven or twelve), I stumbled across "reproduction" in an encyclopedia. Needless to say, it was a bit of a lightbulb moment. ("Oh...so that's how it works...?") A little later, I discovered the so-called wonders of the internet. It took me a while to find clips that actually did the trick--typically videos that started with at least some sort of minor character development. I was too afraid to actually masturbate to them, as I’d gotten the impression that that was wrong--especially for a girl. Besides, even if I'd wanted to, I didn't really know how. So I just sat there and squirmed, excited and miserable at the same time. Finally, during my freshman year of college, a friend of mine put two and two together and helped me out of my guilt-ridden funk.

I married a nomo.... a horny nomo so I saw a porn flick at home,


I felt gulity but it was a turn on so I got over the guilt fast.

I was lucky in that my Mother had taught me that sex was a

beautiful thing, a natural beautiful thing. I have never had

any hang ups about sex.

Does Playboy (early 60's) count?
neighbor 'stored them' in a common area of our 4-plex....

from there, I went on to (stealing) nudist magazines, which were 'interesting' but def. NOT porn (I think genitals were air-brushed out in those years, how tedious!)

Now, nudism is 100% about recreation, being close to nature, etc... No 'entertainment' at all!

We had lots of medical textbooks at home so I'd seen pictures of naked people and private parts growing up. My father did have a subscription to Playboy magazine and I did see it a few times. The pictures were not that different from the occasional semi nude photo shoots in Vogue and Glamour except the models had fuller figures.

The first time I remember seeing pornography proper was at university when some of the guys would take over a TV room in the dorm for "Gentleman's Hour" on Saturday nights. No romance or ritual -- just sex. It was like watching Animal Planet for people. I like old fashioned romance like "Wuthering Heights." Some of the models did have cool shoes though.

Growing up on the ranch, I don't remember my first knowledge of procreation, but I was aware of the process by 8.

As far as nudity, which I don't consider"porn" I had access to those age old standbys the sears catalogue and national geographic.

By the time I saw my first playboy, it had no influence on me, in those days it was simple nudity.

I was in 3rd grade. A couple of brothers from my class had brought in a picture they'd ripped out of their dad's porn magazine. They shared it on the playground. It was a close-up shot of a woman's vagina.

The pic didn't look like any girl's pee-pee I'd ever seen. It was so gross and fleshy and pink (and hairy!). I called them liars and told them the picture wasn't real and they were just stupid, redneck, farmer hillbillies. (Or words to that effect-I was mouthy even back then).

Lo and behold, around aged 13 or so I realized those dumb hillbillies really did have the genuine article that day and they knew what they were talking about all along. (They were farmers fer crissakes! They knew all about reproduction).

;o)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/08/2015 04:27AM by shannon.

oops ;o)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/08/2015 04:29AM by shannon.

Ok, fine … I’ll share.

Even though I’d already seen a few pictures of … oh my gosh … ‘a naked lady’ … by elementary school, my first experience with what I would consider ‘porn’ came a little later in early junior high. My brother, who was a number of years older than me, kept copies of Penthouse magazine in his room. When he wasn’t home I would camp out in his room reading the ‘Forum’ section of the magazine.

For anyone who doesn’t know, Penthouse ‘Forum’ was written stories of sexual encounters, pretty graphic usually, and done in the style of written letters to the editor. Supposedly, these were encounters sent in by readers to be published. However, there was always much skepticism that they were actually written by staff as a feature each month in the magazine. I recall how this was rather obvious, since three out of the five letters each month began … “I used to think these stories were just written by staff, but now I know it’s true because I recently had my own experience worthy of the Forum.” Ya, sure, right … just because you actually had sex? LOL

Anyway, those stories were way better than the pictures … it gave me plenty of ideas that would come in handy later in life. So, I can truly say the cliché, “I just read the magazine for the articles.” Ha ha. Ok, fine … I looked at the pictures, too. But, it was those forum stories that were the real porn for my young mind. I had a girlfriend once that thought I must have a sort of female style sexual mentality; because apparently most porn for women through the ages was also in written form, not visual. She showed me some pretty hardcore lesbian ‘book porn’ that she had. It out did any of that penthouse forum stuff I’d read through as a youth, let me tell you. I had no idea that kind of stuff was out there for women. She also taught me more about sex than porn ever did.

Anyway, that’s enough on this subject from me.

P.S. I don’t think it damaged me, I actually grew up to be quite the sappy romantic, not so much of the misogynist type. I was a just horny young kid, like every boy growing up. I just wanted to 'know', I was curious.