Posted by:
chimera
(
)
Date: March 09, 2015 11:48AM
As a girl who's had crushes on unavailable guys before, even if they weren't missionaries, I understand that it can be hard to let it go. I'm sorry that this is happening, and I'm not trying to hurt your feelings needlessly.
With that said--as other people have mentioned, he's most likely very lonely and, as a young adult with raging hormones, he has certain urges, at least on some occasions. The only consistent contact he has with his family is via email once a week. He's cut off from his friends and family--the connections he's had and built for years. Who wouldn't be lonely? If he is aware of your interest, there might be a part of him that's flattered, at least on some level. However, when push comes to shove, there probably isn't much hope for some sort of future. His focus is supposed to be on other things right now. There's the possibility that he's less than thrilled with his current circumstances (on some level), but that doesn't change the fact that numerous people expect a great deal from him right now. I've never been a full-time LDS missionary, but a lot of it sounds very stressful and much less fun than many RMs make it out to be. Even if he is enjoying aspects of his mission, he's still under pressure.
Additionally, even if he does reciprocate your feelings to some extent--well, feelings aren’t always enough. And how well can you really know him? How much information about him can you really glean from the conversations you've had with him? He's not supposed to be focusing on girls or dating at this point. The duration of his mission is not an ideal time to get to know him. Plus, people change. He might return from his mission with a very different outlook. Maintaining a long-distance friendship is hard enough—maintaining a romantic relationship of some kind over a distance is, arguably, even harder. Besides, there's no guarantee that the interest is mutual. Regardless, this is inappropriate and could cause all parties involved (especially you, it seems) a lot of distress in the end. I know it's hard--but please try to find individuals out there who also seem to have similar interests and are actually available and able to pursue a relationship. I know that the feelings won't go away immediately. It's not going to be easy or fun to stand your ground. Ultimately, though, there's a reason he's unavailable. And it's really in your best interest to keep that in mind and open yourself up to other individuals and/ or take the time for some soul-searching. Pick up a new hobby (or two); read about topics that interest you; spend time with family and friends. Get to know what makes you tick and what you want out of life--what you could improve on personally, as well as what you're doing well and have already accomplished.
Anyway, sorry for the novel. I wish you luck!