One needn't have been an actual member to have been damaged by tscc.

My family and I still feel the repercussions.

I'm a nevermo. A good friend of mine converted in high school, and I've spent a lifetime wondering why she did that. So here I am. :)

I was baptized my senior year of high school. One consequence of that decision was it completely screwed up my relationship with my best friend who was very much against me doing it. Sad to think about really. After we graduated we just went our separate ways.
By the way, it's great having nevermo's around here!

Also nevermo here.

Some young people decided to get married, and suddenly I'm thrust into the middle of Mormon War III.

JAR

Big time neighbor issues. Thanks for putting up with me. :/
But so much goes on here, who could leave?

You come for the free, hot coffee, but you stay for the company. :)

summer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You come for the free, hot coffee, but you stay
> for the company. :)


That's the ticket. But at one time I was interested in Mormonism for the family values and preparedness aspects. I was literally looking up stuff after a couple of bad storms and much of the info came from Mormon bloggers.

I am a nevermo who walked in here by accident but I am not leaving until I have found the drinks cabinet, I am convinced there must be one hidden in every mormons home.

Also nevermo here. Moved into the morridor a few years ago and found this site while trying to figure out what makes my neighbors tick. Felt the caring and sensibility of the people here and I'm hooked!

Nevermo here--almost got baptized. Luckily, I got a lot of great advice from the people here, so I never got dunked. I'll always be grateful to this community for that.

Nevermo here too. I moved to Mormonville, AZ, and ended up marrying a Jack who reverted. My kids' family, their father's side, are all Mormon.

Nevermo, but a large chunk of my family is mormon, and my grandson plans on being baptized so he can marry his girlfriend who is TBM.

I came to this board because I was investigating the church as a way to interact with the mormons in my family and all the mormons who affect my daily life here in the morridor in south central Idaho near the Utah border.

The people on this board are wonderful and eloquent. You all have my utmost respect. And the very best atheist/theist debates take place here. :-)

and since I don't drink, don't smoke, don't use drugs and never had sex I wound up dating Mormons for some reason. Evangelicals are worse but at least they tell the world what they really believe. Religion really messes people up.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/15/2015 11:03PM by anybody.

Nevermo here, but did grow up in the only slightly less cultish Church of Christ. CofC has similar regressive dogma but I never saw it as being so authoritarian. I have lived in Utah for about 20 years in total. Mormons have always fascinated me because I just can't figure out what makes them tick. And I'm always learning new jaw-dropping things about them.

Nevermo and I also don't know any Mo's . . . but I know plenty of ex-Mo's thanks to this site.

When I found this site, I thought Mormons were wholesome, Donnie & Marie types. Well, h.o.l.y. c.r.a.p! My eyes were opened to the trainwreck that is Mormonism and reading the stories here is akin to rubbernecking at a traffic accident. I'm not personally affected but I feel for you guys!

Nevermo. Grew up in SLC, attended USU in the 80s, and then escaped Utah. I have friends from grade school thru college days who are still Mormon (some have left). I have to tread gently with information I drop as they are terrified to hear it (fingers in ears). All are BIC, and they are quite clueless regarding Mormonism (no idea about Smith's polygamy/polyandry, BOA, different versions of 1st Vision, etc.).

My LDS friends have extremely little knowledge about other religions. They just know everyone who isn't LDS is wrong. I'm one of the few non-LDS friends any of them have.

I am a never mo living in Taylorsville UT. I am surrounded by Tbms. I met a good friend that was in a faith crisis, he and I agreed to study it. We went back and forth with everything we've learned, he is now more sure than ever that it isn't true. He can finally relax and deal with all the family consequences w/the confidence it isnt true. The history has become facinating 2 me. The fact that this guy was able 2 create a religion is astonishing. Spent at least 200 hours looking into the history the doctrine and the claims and it's become extremely interesting to me.

Never mo here. Seriously dated a mormon girl and took the lessons many years ago. I was terrified then that mormonism originated from the pit of hell and am certain of it today. Sure wish the internet was around 25 years ago.

And yet, even now that the internet is here, people still join! I guess they just assume they wouldn't find anything surprising if they bothered to google it.

blissfulcrush Wrote:
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> And yet, even now that the internet is here,
> people still join! I guess they just assume they
> wouldn't find anything surprising if they bothered
> to google it.

Inexplicable to me. I suppose they just do not take it seriously or really do not care about the truth. As for me I wanted to know. I had no interest in turning my life over to a lie.

Count me. Still checking in here and there.

Me! My husband converted with his first wife, then resigned while married to me.

I'm a Never Mo too.

I always knew the church was false. But when the membership percentage is in the 90%+ range, the culture permeates everything - social life, school, celebrations of every kind, politics. I grew up absorbing the guilt, the shame, the fear, the unrealistic expectations, the hypocrisy, and the particularly malicious gossiping that masquerades as concern for the well being of the person being figuratively stoned.

I am one too. Stumbled across RFM a couple years back while my curious mind was doing some research on mormonism. Even though I have had no experience with mormons nor had any ill-effect of mormons, I have chosen to stick around because some of the topics that arise are interesting to me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/16/2015 01:23AM by kativicky.

I've never been a Mormon or member of any kind of religion. But I find it fascinating (and appalling) the crap people can believe.

Some of the ex-mo's on here are very territorial and unfriendly towards those of us who were never duped as they were.

Purple Turnips are real Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I've never been a Mormon or member of any kind of
> religion. But I find it fascinating (and
> appalling) the crap people can believe.
>
> Some of the ex-mo's on here are very territorial
> and unfriendly towards those of us who were never
> duped as they were.


I think anyone who can overcome adversity and make personal progress the way exmos have deserves the highest accolades. Some were born into this religion through no fault of their own and had to dig their way out with a small spoon. That deserves respect. I know an overwhelming number of non-religious people who have carried the same issues around their whole lives and never made one ounce of effort to change their lot in life, or face their inner demons. I applaud exmos and their massive achievement.

I think the human condition hands every single one of us a pile of crap in this life in one way or another. The test is what you do with that pile of crap, measured against no one but yourself. Some people take their pile of crap and try to change it into something a little bit better. Others just sit in the same pile of crap all arrogant about being stupid. I know which one I respect more. Everyone gets tested in life one way or another. It’s how you deal with your adversity that matters most; whether you do something about it or whether you don’t.

I think exmos have faced a difficult test and won. I think they get a hero cookie and deserve the utmost respect for overcoming their adversity. I know plenty of non-religious idiots who haven’t accomplished half as much in their lives, or even a quarter. Maybe you should show them a little more respect. Sometimes you get what you give.

I realised religion in general was make-believe by the time I was a teenager. I knew some of the "secrets" of Mormonism just from being around the few Mormon kids in school (who were in the minority on this side of the Zion Curtain and are not very vocal about their religion) and I didn't really pay much attention to Mormonism until I was older. I'd dated a few guys and several of them were Mormon. After speaking with the missionaries and so on I realised they were trapped in a twisted world which was difficult to escape from. The whole thing reminded me of what I'd read about life in Russia under the Soviet regime or North Korea.


It is a difficult thing to realise your parents, elders, or others you respect would lie to you, use you and mentally enslave you to a cult that in the final analysis is only interested in what you can do for it.

Count me in as a nevermo. Brother joined the cult when I was ten. I obsessively read all about TSCC for a while.

I've never talked to a Mormon who knew, or cared, about the truth of LDS doctrines or historicity.

Asked a lovely Nauvoo missionary "Where was the Nauvoo Expositor building located?"

She'd never heard about it. She then asked me to "Stop spreading lies."

I grew up in a very Mormon neighborhood in Southern California, and came here to work through issues of why I always felt discriminated against as a kid (my friends weren't allowed to spend the night at my house, tSundays I was left friendless when I only wanted to play with my friends like a normal kid, etc). I have stayed because I love the discussions and have so much respect for everyone who made it out of the cult. I still secretly hope that my childhood friend who never married is posting here, though her Facebook feed is full of mormondom so it's unlikely.

I live near Palmyra and have a lot of Mormon neighbors. Plus there is the annual pageant on Hill Cumorah, which brings in a lot of Mormons. So the whole topic of Mormonism is fascinating to me. I can understand why people who are born into it stay, but can’t understand why anyone ever converts. There is so much inforamtion out there about how it is not true.

NeverMoinNY Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> I can understand why people who are born into it
> stay, but can’t understand why anyone ever
> converts. There is so much inforamtion out there
> about how it is not true.

Exactly, I feel the same way. People who willingly convert into it have no one to blame but themselves. Those born into it had no choice in the matter.

That is completely wrong Purple. People are recruited into a cult. The techniques for recruitment are subtle and powerful. If a person is in the right frame of mind, depression, loneliness, major life loss etc., he or she can easily be pressured to join a cult. To say they have no one else to blame but themselves shows you have no understanding.

Besides, you said you were leaving here.

I had a TBM friend at work. He was a convert and did not serve a mission. He had some sort of emotional experience and really believed in the power of the priesthood. He was just as enmeshed in it as anyone born in the church.

Thankfully, I've only ever known one Mormon in my entire life. He would often say very strange things -- such as the earth fell from another universe -- which I've since come to find are part of Mormon doctrine. Whenever I asked him how he though he knew stuff like that he said it was 'a gut feeling'. He never admitted it was all part of his programming.

Here! (waving hand) I'm also a NeverMo. I had a friend whose wife was LDS and she eventually converted him and I was invited to his baptism, which I attended. The more he and his wife talked about the Mormon church, the more scary it sounded to me. Then I worked for the Marriage and Family Therapy Clinic at Purdue for several years and became friendly with the PhD students who came into that program, several of them Mormons. I did a lot of listening to them and reading on my own about the LDS church, and that is one of the main reasons I wanted my grandkids to go to the UU church and into their Religious Education program (very happy that my daughter agreed!)--because I wanted them to have all the information they needed to make SURE they would never, ever be susceptible to being sucked into any cult: by cult I meant not only the Jonestown type, but also the "acceptable by society" cults--the Mormons and the Jehovah's Witnesses. I was terrified that when they got to be teens and college aged young adults, that the typical teen angst might allow them to be easy prey for the door-knockers. I find this board interesting and most of the posters intelligent and courageous. I read more than I post. :)

Nevermo here...
No religious affiliation growing up (Mom's Dad left a cult). Nominally now a UU.

Fascination started with Warren Jeffs and the whys and wherefors including why Utah still won't deal with the blight of religious enslavement of youth as free labor (till they are kicked out) and sexual prizes. The sociology of the growth of the original cult and Jeff's version is, to me, the unfolding of all of the original empires with their prophets and kings and royalty...

If I had the time I would love to create a study on that and....the links between the power structure in SLC and the polygamist groups (follow the money....)

have stayed because I find you all to be interesting people and the stories you tell and growth you work for compelling. I check in you all twice a day

Nevermo here.

Moved to Utah w/young kids...Ended up here.

I'm also a nevermo. I am good friends with several exmos, and I love one in particular.

My brother converted in High School because his girlfriend was TBM. He used to leave early every morning for seminary, but lie and say it was for ROTC.

In his senior year, he moved into his GF's home because our mom "drank." It broke her heart.

They also used to antagonize my 1st wife, and run her down behind her back to my mom and others, because we lived together before we got married. Ultimately, they were successful in driving her away (thanks, guys, for helping me out with your "family values"--they were so wise at 17...).

That was back in the 80's. At that time, I knew Mormonism was a cult, knew about polygamy, and that Mormons believed they'd become "gods," but that's all I knew. Fast forward to a few years ago, when a certain prominent guy ran for president, and I started doing some research about Mormonism, and thanks to the information available on the internet was slack-jawed by what a freak show it is!

In part of that searching, I found this site, and have come to research and ask questions to see just what makes my brother and his wife in particular, behave the way that they do. In some ways, I just thought she was a bitch, and yet that always conflicted me, because she was so "nice."

Also, for many years they weren't too pushy, but also lived far away because he was in the army. But as they "matured" they are bolder and pushier with religious stuff. Things I've learned here have helped understand and not only push back but actually undermine some of their antics. Consequently, we're being shunned now, which is hard on my wife and girls.

For example, at the holidays they sent my girls Christmas presents, w/o including my wife and I. I guess that was supposed to show how wonderful they are, even though we are "awful" people. Well, the package got miss mailed or something, so my TBM SIL reached out to our daughter through Facebook to check on it. My wife emailed to ask if they had a tracking number for it to follow up on. No response, except repeated messages to my daughter. I guess the Ten Commandments are something that was mistranslated, because they certainly don't expect our kids to "honor their mother and father" if they think they can come between us. Anyway, when the package arrived after two weeks, the girls just heaved it into the trash. Unfortunately, we've had to "inoculate" them against Mormonism, both because of these family members, and because of the many TBM kids in their school.

Anyway, that's a way-oversimplification of how Mormonism has affected our lives, but thanks RfM for helping us along the way!

That is an unpleasant situation. Assume your kids are teenagers. Uncle and his family are likely to be a good example to your kids about the dangers of being sucked in to Mormonism.

Sorry you have lost your brother but who knows, maybe his kids will want to bolt and will come looking to nevermo family for support. Have seen cousins connect with cousins over Internet without involving parents at all.

Thanks. Yea, kids are teens. It has been a little disappointing. Over the years we all got along fine, cousins liked each other. It's really only been in recent years that Mormonism has become a constant problem--rather than an intermittent problem--and mostly everyone's strategy was to ignore it.

Honestly, I always thought--or at least hoped--that my brother was just going through the motions. But as things have become more contentious, they've all been becoming more open about Mormon stuff. Lots of crap on Facebook, etc.

The older cousin is at BYU now, and posts endless sophomoric drivel that I guess she's learning there. They're always wrapped up in some Mormon baloney.

And now that she's at BYU, her mom is even more over-the-top all-in for it. It seems like the more you're into it, the harder you have to work to be all in to it... That sounds kinda crazy, but it is a cult. Anyway, that's my outsider looking in perspective.

The youngest cousin is still in HS, and had been quiet in this regard, but even she is now starting to post Mormon stuff.

My girls are mature enough now to see through phoney friendliness--not that it all was, or always was, but that's where it is now. And they can also see the hurtfulness of it, and how it hurts their mom. My wife, by the way, although very delightsome, is not whitesome, so she may also wonder if that's partly why they mistreat her. As in my short-lived first marriage, the instant there was any "trouble," somehow it's her causing me to behave this way...

Your brother's wife is a prime example of that special Mormon passive aggression I would say. Be very careful. There were members of my own family who would constantly bypass the parents,ignore them, and give special gifts and invitations to their kids. In some circles this would be called "grooming." They feel justified because they are doing the "lord's work" and see the parent as a bad influence for their children.

I am so glad your kids are seeing through it.

I love the nevermo presence here. Being interested in RFM by nevermos usually means there is an abundance of empathy, compassion and curiosity and that all comes with a very welcome and unique point of view.

Yep, the "family values" religion doesn't mind breaking up families...

Lurking Nevermo here. Been reading this forum continually for the past four years. History of TSSC has been a travel hobby of mine. Been to (and proselytized at) Palmyra, Kirtland, Nauvoo, Liberty, Temple Square, and other, lesser sites. Came for the history. Stayed for the psychology and theology. Love the quality of the commentariate here. Thank you.

I supervised several Mormons in a previous life working for NASA. That wasn't a problem, but I always wondered what made them tick.

Surprisingly enough I' e never been a Mormon. I almost fell for it when I was 12-13ish but did some research and realised it was a con. Ever since then the theology and history of TSCC has fascinated me

Lurking nevermo. I have a good friend who is, and who despite the wife and four kids is gay. :/ Lurking here to try to understand.

I found this after I left Eastern Star and two high school friends thought, good she left that let's real her in to being a Mormon. Having watched them give up all their free time, I thought time to investigate. I left Eastern Star because they thought they owned me and every spare minute I might have. Figured out quickly Mormon's were worse. Then I was hooked on reading the site.

One of my sisters married one who isn't practicing. I've also had a lot of exposure to them when visiting Utah as a guest for the august symposium on science fiction held at BYU. I've been a 3- or 4-time guest there. The students there don't know how to deal with me (I make them laugh).

I'm a never-mo. I came here in 2002. I "Googled" to learn more about Mormonism after I read Secret Ceremonies by Deborah Laake. RfM was the first thing listed, even back then!

Ruby and Reggie were never-mos, too. I wanted to increase the protein in their diets and trolls are high in protein, so...

never mo here..... my aunt upset the rest of the family by baptizing my grandmother after her death..... (everyone else some flavor of protestant .....)

I'm mostly here because I was raised as a fundie - "Bible believing" church.... we were there every time the doors were open (and then some) .... as a teen, church was the only social life I had. I don't / didn't have it as badly as many of you did, but I am a disappointment to my mom for leaving Christianity and there are elephants in the room for family gatherings....

This is a very nice place to be - to know I am not alone .... I don't contribute much because I rarely have anything to say not already said better.... and I don't want to step on toes because I am not mormon....

Is there any way to find out f a relative has been "baptized?" I have a sick feeling that both my parents have been. I know it doesn't really mean anything, but it would still irritate me.

nomonomo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Is there any way to find out f a relative has been
> "baptized?" I have a sick feeling that both my
> parents have been. I know it doesn't really mean
> anything, but it would still irritate me.

This is an excellent question and, for maximum response, needs to be its own thread.

Could you please start a new thread for this topic?

Your title could be something like your first sentence, and your initial text the rest of your post here.

If you do this, you will receive back some truly excellent information and wisdom from the community at large.

:)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/16/2015 01:57PM by tevai.

Here

Nevermo who lived in Salt Lake for a year in the 70s because of my husband's job. We left when his grant was up because we could not see raising our young children in that den of Mormons. I did get very interested in that weirdo religion while living there, in the East I had never met a mormon and knew nothing about them.

Also, the son of a Catholic aquaintance converted to Mormonism and I was horried to hear how the family spent his wedding day at a Burger King waiting for the Temple ceremony they could not attend to be over.

I have stayed with this site for the great people here, and because I believe that TSCC needs to be exposed for the evil that it is.