She was in the 7th grade and I was in 9th grade when we first meet. She had such a crush on me. I could care less at that age. We meet again when I was 18 and she was 16. We feel in love hard and were a perfect couple except for 2 things. She was not a Mormon and my P Blessing said I would meet my wife at the close of my mission. Someone I had promised to marry before we came to earth. I broke her heart and mine when I dumped her so I could go on my mission and afterwards meet the girl I was suppose to marry.

Forty years later, I know with every fiber of my being my P Blessing was filled with lies and feel good sayings. It was all a bunch of crap. Nothing about it was from God. Just lies from a lieing cult.

I hope she is happy wherever she is and has a husband who loves and adores her as much as I would have if I had not believed all the lies of Mormonism.

Did the lies of the Cult cost you a love? A friend perhaps?

Yes it made me think all non mormons, especially girls were bad

and I never saw him again. The End.

I met her on her mission in Germany - she served under the notorious Christian Vikary. We exchanged letters on the sly and phoned occasionally. She didn't serve in my ward. After her mission she hastend into marrying someone else - just the next best tbm. I received the letter (this was 1991) on the day I was referred to a hospital being suspected of having cancer (It turned to be cancer but it could be treated successfully). I would have needed her then. She will prpobaby stay in Utah all her life. Today I would even refuse to date a Mormon.

Loving anyone can be complicated, but loving a Mormon can be very hurtful as well as complicated.

One of the favorite real love stories of my life is Birgitta Mattsson looking around herself in Church one Sunday and recognizing that her place was with her husband. She loved her husband more than her Church.

Not all Mormons can offer that to the people that love them.

This would be my husband...he chose me and our family over the morg and has never regretted it. He has even told his parents that our marriage comes before the mormon church.

My sweet TBM DH was devastated when I left the church. He was afraid that this would prevent our being together in eternity.

But not only has he gradually come to terms with that, he has been inactive from the church for years, and has come to see a number of things in a new (and improved!) light.

He is a wonderful person and I'm so, so glad he chose me over TSCC.

The same thing happened to me. I met a guy I got along great with at University. We started dating and even considered getting engaged after our studies were finished. He investigated the church for a while but he was also belonged to a Masonic lodge and so did his dad. Anyway I told him he couldn't be both (apostate organisations etc) and he had a big fight with his family over it.

I callously finished with him in the end because he wouldn't join the church. My patriarchal blessing told me I would marry a chosen son of Zion and we would raise a righteous prosperity blah blah blah. So got to obey God or the church first.

Anyway the unhappy ending is I married a member, we were totally unsuited and we got divorced 10 years later. I would have gotten out of their in the first year had it not been for the pressure to make a temple marriage work.

I have since remarried again in the temple to a more suitable companion but still dating choice was limited to which members were available in their 30's. Now I have left the church it has made me reflect a lot on my choices and the conclusion is I could have been very happy with my non member boyfriend. He hates the church though but he'll never know that now so do I.

As for the righteous prosperity, they are not getting my sons for missions. So that part will definitely not come true.

ditto.

DW loved (loves?) TSCC more than me, More than being truthful.

pretty hard pill after 29 yrs, 9 kids.

F**K the Mormon Cult.

She punked them, they came back for more.

I wish I had a magic pill for exmos who suffer with these two downer emotions.

Unfortunately, we cannot remake the past, only the present and future.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/19/2015 01:12PM by Cheryl.

The lies of "this" cult helped me lose most of my friends. It damaged my family relationships with my father and a sister.

Yes the lies of the cult lost me the love of my life too. I was 20 and he was 22. We'd been working together and dating for two years and were planning on getting married.

He knew I had been investigating the church and wasn't too concerned until I mentioned that I'd set a date for my baptism. He told me to cancel it as he didn't want a Mormon for his wife. I retaliated by saying I didn't want a husband who tried to make my decisions for me. We argued. We parted. A week later I lost my job and to this day I still believe my boss didn't like the idea of having a a Mormon in the work place.

About twenty years after we broke up I ran into a couple of our former mutual friends who told me that the woman he married eight years after we broke up, was very much like me in many ways even down to sharing the same birthday. Apparently they have been together now for over forty years.

I've had a good life and although I still have the occasional dream about this person, I have no deep regrets, but if I'd known then what I know now about TSCC, I wonder how different my life would have been because I certainly would not have become a Mormon.

I met who I considered the love of my life at age 20. He wasn't mormon. I also read that PB like it was gospel. I was supposed to marry some man of God who would take me to the temple, blah, blah, blah. I was sure God would just bring him into my life if I was just worthy/righteous, so I let the love of my life go. I dated at least 2 or 3 nonmos who wanted to marry me, but, NO, I had to have that TM AT ALL COSTS. It cost me a lot.

I read my PB some years ago and it, too, was all lies. I threw it in the garbage and my daughter retrieved it. (She had just got her PB, which is what sent me to read mine.) I hope I never see that thing again.

ALTHOUGH, I, too, hoped the love of my life was happy. I kept tabs on him through one of his friends. I, myself, discovered he and his wife had different addresses and phone numbers by doing a dexonline search just over 10 years ago. She had just moved out. She had cheated and also wanted the divorce.

Our old boss got in touch with him, we started talking, and the rest is history.

Some of you might think I'm too young to feel this way,but I fell in love with a girl in middle school a few years ago. I was way too nervous around her because of my upbringing, and because I wanted there to be no chance of me compromising my chastity.
I've only been able to see her once last year but I still think of her every day.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 03/19/2015 10:36AM by secularhumanguy.

Texts, email-- communication is so efficient these days. But I suggest an old fashioned approach--write her a nice letter. Start easy, and let your little seedling of a relationship grow. Easy on the water and the (pun intended) fertilizer.

Yep, my wife of 18 yrs.... Family church my ass.

The wrong way is to base your choice on good looks and raging hormones. The right way is to rationally find someone who is a good match. There is an excellent book available about finding the right person:

http://www.amazon.com/Are-You-One-Me-Avoiding-ebook/dp/B002KBNEIC/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1426779866&sr=1-1&keywords=are+you+the+one+for+me+by+barbara+deangelis

This book was #1 on the New York Times best seller list and it has sold over two million copies. It is worth its weight in gold.

and apparently believes if you're not "getting" what you want from a relationship, then just bail out. A Wife of Bath. Yuck.

Could you kindly provide a verifiable link to the information that "she's been through five husbands?"

Came up just under Wiki on Google:

http://articles.mcall.com/1992-11-01/features/2889206_1_relationships-love-at-first-sight-first-two-books

I can appreciate her point that she's learned from her mistakes, but how many mistakes does it take before you know better? It's as bogus as Freud postulating psychological norms by analyzing "neurotic" * women.

Perhaps DeAngelis' approach is better summarized, "Maximizing your relationship: how to look out for #1.

*Whether they were actually neurotic or hysterical is the subject of a lot of debate.

First, I married when I was way young and ignorant. All my relatives and friends were getting married, so it seemed like the right thing. An I really liked my fiancée, so why wait? 4 1/2 years later, a bitter divorce ended that marriage. I was a master student at BYU, which made the whole thing even more unbearable. Next, I dated a TBM girl from BYU. I was head over heels and ready to pop the question, but she put the brakes on the relationship - she questioned my worthiness (meaning, fit the mold, which I didn't but was still a good Mormon boy). A few months later I was devastated when she did break up with me. looking back, knowing what I know now, I am so happy she broke up with me. She would never have been able to deal with my leaving TSCC. I married my dream girl a few years later. Not because she was or wasn't Mormon. Not because other people wanted me to. Not because I was a menace to society. Simply because I loved her. Best decision ever. I worry about me niece who, like so many young kids, got married so she could have guilt free and hassle free sex. The church ruins people's lives!

Yep.
Senior in HS, met a wonderful girl at school, we started dating. She was nominally Catholic. She was also sweet, kind, whip-smart, and sexy as all getout.
Being the TBM I was, I invited her to a Stake Dance. Most (though not all) of the mormons at the dance I introduced her to were nice, though many got weird when finding out she was Catholic.

A chaperone at the dance tattled to my bishop -- that I was dating a (gasp!) Catholic girl and had brought her to a stake dance. This was especially disturbing as I was the priest quorum leader and MIA leader, and apparently was setting a bad example. So the next day at church, the bishop asks me to come into his office.
After a little small talk, he launches into a diatribe about how bad an idea it is to date non-mormon girls, especially Catholics; that they don't have the same "morals" we do, and that unless she's going to convert immediately, I should stop dating her. Because if I didn't, she would surely drag me straight to hell...or at the very least, make me (his words) not worthy to go on a mission.

He also told my mom, so I got the full-court press at home, too. And from some other kids in the ward.

So I did what a good TBM would do. I dumped her. She couldn't understand why, she was heartbroken -- as was I. She was so upset she transferred to the other high school in our district. I left on a mission as planned a year later. I never saw her again.

Now, I don't know about "love of my life," and I'm married now 22 years to an absolutely wonderful woman. But I wondered for a long time, "what if..." If I hadn't been such an idiot and let the church control my love life...

In high school I fell in love with a catholic boy....and it ended badly when my parents intervened......
I have seen him at reunions. He's married once & divorced. He's married now.
I'm a widow now. We have talked a few times.

Yes, we should have married. Yes, we were definitely in love.
But would it have lasted??? Probably not.

I haven't been all that Mormon since high school but we were so young......I still remember our love. So maybe we should have married.........or at least stayed together much much longer.

I've always wondered. And I know he has too.
My parents wouldn't have been happy nor would his parents have accepted our marriage. As it was he married a gal/not catholic & his parents wouldn't go to their wedding.

SO it's not just mormons........

No name today

I met the love of my live the summer after I graduated from High School. It was at a dance hall that was connected to a bar. Real live country music. We dated a year before getting married. I hardly knew what a Mormon was but he was very different around his TBM parents. Hide the cigarettes and don't ask for coffee or tea for breakfast. After marriage (which they vocally disapproved of) we moved away because he joined the air force. The missionaries came by and he encouraged me to listen. I mostly joined to please his family and feel more accepted. (I have been a pleaser most of my life). He didn't stop smoking or drinking beer but I did while pregnant with our first two children who were only 14 months apart. When our firstborn, a son, was killed in a car accident while I was in the hospital with emergency appendectomy. The Mormon bishop or other priesthood leader whom my MIL contacted to "officiate" funeral basically blamed the death of our son on us for not living the gospel. That was the beginning of my loss of the love of my life. A temple marriage became our goal so we could have our son to raise in the hereafter and be an eternal family. What grief stricken mother at the age of 22 would not fall for that. Fifty plus years we are still married but since I left the church he thinks I am satan's daughter and treats me as such.

Yes, and yes.

At this point, I am convinced I have yet to meet the love of my life.

The love of your life (former RM, bishop, HC, etc.) doesn't spend all your income, and future retirement on himself and his children, and prolific alcoholism-while not working, or barely working, then runs and hides behind Joseph Smith again.

Yes. I met the love of my life at the same time I was dating TBM RM. Married the RM because, yeah, that is what a good Mormon girl does. And besides, aren't we promised happiness if we do? Well, 30 years later I divorced my RM husband (30 years of untold unhappiness, depression and grief, but 4 wonderful children) to be with my real true love. I have never been happier and I DO NOT regret that decision!
I'm sorry, but I hate TSCC and the way it indoctrinates young people. My TBM nephew actually had the gall to tell me that I should have stayed with my ex because you should be able to make it work with a spouse that is TBM even if you don't love them - the blessings will come. Screw that sh*t.

Your nephew! Let me guess, a 22 year-old Elder who's going to tell you everything you don't know about love and marriage based on his own profound experience. What a jackass.

Mormon doctrine sure does frame our perceptions on love being an eternal flame.

My patriarchal blessing said to date only men worthy to take me to the temple, and to date several so I'd have a better chance to select the right one for me.

When I did try to follow that advice there weren't any available LDS guys where I lived I felt attracted to. The pickings were slim in other words.

The man I felt destined to meet wasn't a Mormon. He died before we could be married. I saw him in a dream the day before we met, where we were on our third honeymoon. And dreams since, including one where he died - three months before he really did. After he was gone I dreamt we were married in heaven.

They weren't Mormon dreams. They were messages to me from my guardian angel/s though. I believe we've known each other in previous lives. And that we will meet again in eternity.

Mormonism has influenced me heavily about family values. Coming from Jewish ancestry, I know that Jewish family values are quite similar, although they differ widely in theology. Thank God for that! I can still be a good Jew and reject Mormonism at same time. While cherishing the values they have in common like love, honor, and family.

Being a Mormon may have been a detriment for me in the romance department. Yet if I'd been anything else, I wouldn't be the same person I am today. So I can't honestly say I'd have been better off if I hadn't been one. When I've wondered that before, I can also imagine things may have been considerably worse than they were, had I not come from a Mormon upbringing.

I believe it was meant for a reason - being born into it. I was also meant to grow up and search things out for myself which I eventually did. So that wasn't an accident or fortuity, but part of God's plan for my life.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/19/2015 08:45PM by amyjo.

Yes.

The nevermo was smart. Or, so they thought. I wasn't devout at the time, heavily questioning. Still, they knew it was a cult and dumped me. I was crushed. Life went on, but I haven't forgotten.

Before high school, the only mormons I knew were the people in my ward, Las Vegas 2nd ward. Starting high school, in 1958, I also started seminary and I met a bunch of 3rd ward kids, including the girl who would loom largest in my high school heart. She was local mormon royalty. People from Vegas will know that that means she was either a Stewart, Leavitt or Bunker... And in fact her parents were each one of the above. Double royalty!!

We finally began going out my junior year. I didn't turn 16 until way late in my junior year, so she would drive over to pick me up. Our relationship was very torrid and we would take turns being "strong". Dry Humping is what saved us from the sin next to murder.

I didn't see it as the pattern it was, at the time, but she broke up with me before Junior Prom, Christmas Prom of our senior year and our Senior Prom. Graduation night we spent together alone, torturing ourselves up at the top of Lee Canyon.

What I didn't know at that time was that her White & Delightsome parents did not want her to be with a Lamanite. She was not allowed to have a Mexican come pin a corsage on her and be shamefully recorded on film, chocolate & vanilla. I think I blew it for us when I drove up to visit her in Seattle, after her folks sent her up there early that summer, ostensibly to get ready for school at U of W. I barged in on her up there and her aunt and uncle let her parents know that "something" was up.

At the end of that first year of college, during which we wrote fitfully, I got to see her at a party back in Vegas. She avoided me during the party. When she left, I followed her out and we spoke briefly as she sat behind the wheel of her car, with me standing at her door. I don't recall the conversation, but it was a short, and when she drove off, I stood there and cried. That was summer of '63.

After I got my mission call, and had a girl who'd promised to wait for me, the high school sweetheart called me and asked to meet with me. She told me that her parents were the reason she'd broken up with me. They'd let her know, in no uncertain terms, that she was not to date a Lamanite. She went on to say that she'd gotten even with them by allowing herself to be seduced by an LV Sheriff's vice detective, who'd screwed her in just about every hotel on the strip. Those were her words. I was very shocked. But I was in TBM mode, trying to avoid all naughtiness, and with a girl friend who'd promised to wait for me. I never spoke to her again. I read her mom's obituary in the Deseret News about 20 years ago and snarled.

I don't know if, following her sexual activity, she returned to activity in the church, and if she did, how long it continued, or it continues to the present.

I hate that her parents' racism prevented us from having a normal relationship. She didn't go to any proms; that had to bug her at the time. I went to all of them. And definitely, if she was going to have sex, I would have preferred she'd done it with me!

It took her awhile, but she married well (White) and her husband had an article in the Ensign back in the late 80s, in which he described an accomplishment in his business life that had allowed him to give some foreigners a good impression of mormonism, and the article described how his wife and kids had helped.

I have no idea what would have happened if we'd been allowed to have a normal high school dating life. For sure we'd have gone steady, and been a "couple" for two years. I think it would have helped her self-esteem, and been a positive thing, over all. We'd have gone off to college and that's when the "life is a crap shoot" would have started. But I really believe we'd have been good for each other while it lasted. But thanks to mormonism's inherent distaste for 'dark skin', her parents could not let it happen.

Back at that time in America, mild racism like that was not the sole property of the mormon church. But two of my three prom dates were NOT mormon and their parents had no problem making a fuss when I came to pick up their daughters. The mormon date was from my ward and I was told by a mutual friend that if I didn't have a date yet, to ask her. Picking her up was like going to pick up a cousin, although she quite surprised me after the dance!

I'm sorry people were so ignorant. You both suffered for it in different ways. She was devastated and must have felt hopeless to rebel in such detrimental ways.

If you hadn't split up, perhaps you wouldn't have met the lovely lady you are with currently... Life has many twists and turns. Do you feel sad when returning to Vegas, or remember the good times? Thanks for sharing your story.

A thought hit me this morning, after reading your kind response:

What if she lied to me about her parents being the ones to keep us from being a 'public couple'? what if SHE was the one who was ashamed to be seen in public with a Mexican?

I'll never know.

Even if I spoke with her tomorrow, why would I believe her? Maybe the church had nothing to do with what happened?

In truth, I can be pretty flakey. I was, and continue to be, much more of a 'grasshopper,' in a church that wants 'ants'; in a world that wants 'ants'!

Mostly I don't think about her. She was my first serious girlfriend and such a memory sticks around. The twists and turns of my life leading up to finding "to blave" (Princess Bride) have kept me busy and now I'm happy.

I find myself in a nice spot on the Bell Shaped Curve.

I don't like Las Vegas now. It had a population of around 70,000 when I was in high school. It was a small town that just happened to have the Las Vegas Strip attached to it. The nice neighborhood I grew up is now a ghetto.

I went to prom with the only lds girl in my grade. We weren't even friends.

Meanwhile I turned down many dating and relationship advances from about 12 years old onwards. Never dated a non-member. Hurray!

I'm married and things are good (other than church), so I don't have huge regrets, other than missing out entirely on dating being friends with girls who I totally want to date and who wanted to date me. With this invisible wall between us. Anyways, makes for a crappy teenage experience.

When I was 17-18, I was not so into the church and had some friends who were bi/lesbian. I didn't realize they were when I met them and didn't really care after I found out, they were fun. But when I went on a mission and got super into it, I sent them concerned letters about their sexual behavior. Anyways, we're not friends anymore and I've never seen them again. I regret, more than losing the friendship, that I offended them, and that I was such a gullible morgbot.

In university there was a couple girls who were obviously interested and I turned them down as well, non-members.

And my stupid partriarchal blessing said I'd marry for church reasons and values and have lots of kids. So that's what I did. My life has worked out ok, but I really regret not acting on my own free will. I'm sure most of the relationships would not have worked out, but I'd rather they failed because we genuinely weren't that into each other than because of their membership in a fake church.

The many life paths one could have traveled inside and outside of all religions. Makes you want to re-incarnate so you can keep having limitless experiences living here on the planet earth. The evidence suggests the buck stops in the dirt or in ash form once your heart stops. Sad.

So, do what you can that brings joy and happiness NOW or forever dream about it until you no longer have consciousness.