Maybe someone mixed bleach with ammonia. That creates a gas that is deadlier than what comes out of Boyd's ass. Clear the pews, clear all pews. Jumping JackMormon Flash is a gas.

donbagley Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Maybe someone mixed bleach with ammonia. That
> creates a gas that is deadlier than what comes out
> of Boyd's ass. Clear the pews, clear all pews.
> Jumping JackMormon Flash is a gas.


Hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahhaha.

when they polish the bishops door handle they should accidently use Vaseline. I think those new order Mormons are already exmos

That's what I was thinking. They sound as exmo as any of us on RfM.

I would be surprised if this is true. Allowing members to bring their own products would be a recipe for disaster. Cleaning supplies used incorrectly can cause serious damage to buildings, not to mention toxic fumes. The cleaning products that the church currently uses smell like water, so I doubt they're strong chemicals. They have to use something that even the most inexperienced cleaner can't mess up.

Plus, I suspect some church bigwig owns the company that supplies the cleaning products to church buildings. They wouldn't want to give that gig up.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/23/2015 09:47PM by want2bx.

If this really is true, I'm going to volunteer to clean. You can use bleach to clean spots on carpet, right?

Bleach is good for making blood stains disappear.

I learned this by watching the Sopranos and Dexter.

Yeah, but turn it around... Why wouldn't the church do this? It makes good sense, financially. And it figures that a member is not going to bring a cleaning product that he/she is not familiar with.

What's the job that requires the 'grittiest' cleanser? Isn't it cleaning the potty? I use a product that does the job and it doesn't have too many skull & cross-bones on it...

I hope the rumor is true, because it is so evocative of the real mormon church, the one we love to unlove.

If they keep saving money, pretty soon they'll be out of business.

They seem to be running an experiment to see how far they can push members without losing them.

As the old story goes, a farmer decided he could save money on straw by cutting it with sawdust. He kept upping the ratio of sawdust to straw, priding himself on the money he saved. Then one day the horse died.

we have had to bring our own supplies for sometime now

Why are you still cleaning the church!?!?

What an opportunity!

I would not only bring cleaning supplies, I would leave excess in the janitors closet for the next mandated volunteer.

But with some additives.

All floor cleaners should have a lot of food coloring added.

All glass cleaners should have fine grit sand added.

Powdered carpet cleaners should have itching powder added.

The HEPA filter in the vacuum should have holes cut in it.

Additionally, while in the church...take the time to reverse door knobs, so they will be locked from outside the room rather than inside.
Always unplug the fridge.
Look for old coffee makers at yard sales to leave in kitchen cabinets.
Any cleaner in an aerosol can should have the label neatly replaced on cans of spray paint.

Replace lawn fertilizer with grass killer.

Flush all rags, and contents of vacuum bags.

Cut holes in the sacrament table cloth in the shape of inverted crosses. Fold neatly to wait.

Cut the pages of most popular hymns out of the hymnals and discard. Cut different hymns out of the hymnals on the leadership stand. Do not forget the organists hymnal, and while there..stick some used chewing gum under a couple of keys on the organ.

Disable the mic cutoff switch.
Leave pornographic magazines in random places around the church.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/24/2015 07:20AM by deco.

Boy, could I have used you when I worked as a disgruntled maid!

That's quite the list of jokes to play.

OMG, that list almost makes me wish I was still a member just so I could try it out



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/24/2015 12:17PM by hangar18.

Here's another one to add to the list:
Have members bring all the chemicals needed to manufacture methamphetamine to the church (over time), and then call the police when you "stumble" upon the stash.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/24/2015 12:20PM by hangar18.

I'm revolting!!