Have any of you ever said no to giving a talkin church? I did at 14 and the face the second counselor gave... Oh, lord(can I take that in vein now?)

I've said no to giving talks several times.

I finally caved. Funny thing. After I gave talks in different wards, I was never asked again in that ward.

The topics were: The book of Alma. I talked about building walls to protect yourself and family, and when to know that's the right thing to do. After all, that's what the book of Alma is about, building walls to stave off the enemy.

Gratitude: I talked about what the scriptures had to say on the topic. If you want or need something, the scriptures say to put it to the test and pray for it. You will be give things beyond your wildest dreams if you will only ask. I backed it all up with scripture. I was never asked to give that talk again:)

Use scriptures, tell the truth, and the truth will set you free.

The last talk I gave was on the D&C :121. The scripture about if you misuse the priesthood you will no longer have it.
I'd been asked to give a talk on the Priesthood. I chose those scriptures and let the good ol boys have it.
That was the last talk I ever gave. Truth is a bothersome thing.

Julie, You have triggered a deeply buried memory of mine. I was pressured to give a talk in my youth. Instead of giving the talk, after passing the sacrament I walked out. I wasn't asked to give a talk ever again.

In the ward they were in when he was a teenager, they sent out letters to the parents assigning their kids to speak in SM. Of course, the kids were aware of this. His parents were both teachers and he got home before them. He found the letter and threw it away. Then he pretended to be sick the Sunday he was assigned.

My sister had no idea until the bishop asked her where her son was.

My sister thought this was hysterical. And all 3 of her children are exmormons. She isn't. I'm surprised. She hates Mormons, but her husband is a bit over the top TBM.

When I'd been home from my mission a few years the bishoprick was concerned that the youth weren't showing respect for their elders and leaders. So they asked me to give a talk telling the youth to honor and respect those above them. I thought they were full of crap. So my talk was about telling the adults that if they wanted respect they had to earn it, not demand it. And that if they acted with integrity the respect would come naturally. Afterward the bishoprick told me how good my talk was. What I learned from this is that the leaders were incredibly stupid. I called them out publicly in front of the whole ward and they didn't even pick up on it.

Yes, I did.

And the dumb thing about it was since I said "no," they wouldn't give my (now ex-)wife a chance to speak. You know, gotta have the priesthood guy with supporting wife, and not the wife alone. So she was disappointed with me and/or the church. Hopefully more the latter.

I usually said "Yes" and always spoke with an agenda (wink wink) but never bore testimony of Joseph Smith. (as a TBM I never could get past the way he instituted polygamy)

If I had known what I know now I would speak more and shed light on the fallacy of the gospel, the BOM, and express my opinion enthusiastically. Then I would sit back and watch the facial twitches of our crappy bishopric as they shrank into their overstuffed burgundy chairs.

I tried but they basically told me I'd be fine and stuff, so I just didn't go to church that day.

Yes...once. Previously to that I had turned down a request to baptize someone.

Ron Burr

I told them no on several occasions. Once, the bishop wanted to know what I'd do if he randomly called on me to give closing prayer. I said I'd walk out. I'm very uncomfortable with public speaking. I hated show and tell in kindergarten.

Other Susan

When I was 13 or 14, a BP member came up to where my mother and I were standing and asked me if I would give a talk the next Sunday. Without hesitating, my mother replied, "Of course, he'd love to!" The BP member said, "Great," and walked off. I never had a chance to say anything. Thanks Mom!

I immediately went into passive-aggressive mode, as a good, pretend-TBM Mormon ought to do. During the week, I suddenly had more homework than usual, and then managed to disappear all day Saturday. Wouldn't you know it, on Sunday I didn't have my talk prepared, and the BP had to scramble to fill my time. I don't recall getting into any trouble over it either.

I refused to say the closing prayer in EQ once. I'd worked the graveyard shift the night before (this was at college) and hadn't slept for over 24 hours. I was exhausted and simply wasn't up to it. The EQ teacher (who was also my HT) kept on me. He really wanted me to submit. I had to say no three times before he realized I wasn't going to cave. I didn't go to my college ward all that often.

Yes. In fact this was the beginning of the end for me. . .

I was at BYU, 1978, and a Junior. At the beginning of one Sacrament meeting, it was announced that the speaker had cancelled. So, they asked people in the audience if they would come up and speak instead. Well, my name was called. It was one of those times I got a full body rush of blood. I was actually pissed-off and panicked at the same time. I was like, "Oh,no,no,no,no,no,no,no..." I have never been very keen on surprises, so situations like this one just doesn't work for me.

Since our meetings were held in one of the theatres, there were seperate side hallways for entering and exiting the large seating area. So, I got up, exited through a side hallway, and instead of walking up to the stage, I headed for the lobby. I left the building and went home. I did a vanishing act! Later that night, I got a call from one of the Branch leaders and he actually APOLOGISED to me for putting me on the spot. And, there wasn't any guilt talk from him either...

A few months later, at end of Winter semester, I was done with BYU and done with the church. The experience trigger something in me that let me know I was done-done with the whole church thing. I had my issues already (I'm gay) but this just sent me over the edge for some reason. I guess it was my shelf finally collasping.

Talks are a bit of a sore spot for me. As a teen, I gave talks every year. The last one I remember giving was just after I finished 11th grade. Evidently I did speak in my home ward as a 12th grader as I found a program of it, but I have no recollection of it (funny, because I have a pretty good memory.)

In YSA (all through college), I wanted to speak. I think it would have sealed me more into the church, feeling included. I actually had day dreams of the first sacrament talk I would have with my husband, introducing ourselves to the new ward. I was never asked to speak in sacrament meetings... in three different student wards in five years, not one time. I had two teaching callings, but I was never on the radar.

Now I have no desire to even attend church, let alone speak publicly about an asinine topic. But to answer your question, no I haven't said no to speaking. :) I have said no several times for a day temple recommend for baptisms for the dead.

Oh yeah. I was a member for 14 years before they finally got me to give a talk.

Rather, TRIED to say no. Mormons are especially tenacious and stinky about letting you say no to talks. The person who assigns talks has probably had lots of practice in forcing people into it, and has most likely been turned down several times, before he even calls you.

I estimate that the Mormons need to be told "no" about 30 times, before they will give up and leave you in peace. It's wise to not give any explanation or excuse at all, because it gives them a starting point to argue with you.

I said "No" about 10 times to each person who called me on the phone to ask. A member of the bishopric even came to my door to ask me face-to-face. Still, the next Saturday, the person in charge of the program called to tell me that my name was already on the program to give a talk, to try to embarrass me into giving the talk. I said that she had made a mistake in the printing, and that was her problem, not mine. I was there, playing the organ, and no one said anything.

My son was harassed about giving a talk, and he said "No" 29 times, which was not the magic number of 30, and his teacher called and said he would write the talk for my son, and all my son had to do was read it. My son said that it wouldn't be his own talk, then, and told the teacher to read it. So many of the kids would just read their talks--probably written by their parents--or read an old conference talk of one of the GA's--and they would stumble over the words, and read without expression. The object, like missions, is to force the speaker into submission, to teach him/her to obey the church.

"No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No." X30. Say it out loud!

F no! usually only takes about one time.

I was always happy to speak. But then, as years went by, I would refuse to speak on certain topics. Again, as years went by, the list of topics became longer.

I will always speak on JC, atonement, easter, christmas, etc.

I will NOT speak on home teaching, temple attendance, tithing, welfare system, fast offerings, JS, following the prophets, anything ever said by BY, SWK, or ETB (sorry Steve), any GC talk just handed to you, etc.

I would LOVE to speak on any of the new essays.

Stangely enough, I have not been asked in about 10 years......lol.

When I was 14, my inactive family had just moved to a new state and my mom thought that I could make new friends quickly by attending the local ward. (Ha! What a joke that whole concept was-- another story, another day.) The people at church tried repeatedly to get me to give a talk. Being extremely shy, I was terrified and absolutely refused.

I still think of it as the first time that I really stood up for myself. I was a very quiet, shy kid who was always wanting to please, but that was too much and I finally found the courage to say no to an adult. Thanks, Mormon church, for unwittingly giving me my first taste of empowerment.

Yes, I was shy and had a fear of speaking in public. I told him I would do one when I was comfortable.

I then spent a long time writing and memorizing a talk and told him maybe 8 months later I would give it and I did.

Many years ago my DH and I were struggling with infertility. Had gone through several years of tests, treatments, and miscarriages. We told no one in the ward what was happening, yet here we were, a couple that had been married for years with no kids, so you would expect some sensitivity. But for the third year in a row, my husband was asked to speak on either Mother's or Father's Day. I was very sad and angry and composed an email to the bishop complaining about the insensitivity. I let my husband read it and he said not to send the email, he would just say no to the talk. And he did.

I've said no plenty of times. And I have NO guilty feelings about it either. I suck at speaking in public and I'm not going to do it....period. It probably goes back to when I was 19 or so. The person who leads the music in Sacrament meeting didn't show up so the Stake President (who was visiting our ward) ask me to lead the music. I told him that I don't know anything about music and wouldn't know how to do it. He basically said "tough, I've asked you to do and we don't turn down responsibilities in this church." I got up there and waved my arm around. I have never been so embarrassed. That was about 30 years ago and I still don't know anything about music. I'm smarter now though. If I'm asked to do it again, I'd just leave the building.

I have been asked several times. Even when I was TBM.

I always said no.

No matter how much pressure they put on me, I would always say no.

I do not like public speaking and I would not be forced to do it.

They always acted so surprised when I told them no.

Why yes I have. I hate public speaking. I'd given a handful of talks in church before, but they were always an agonizing ordeal. The last time we were asked to speak in church (of course they asked dh if we'd both speak) I told him I wasn't going to. At first he couldn't believe I'd turn down a talk, esp since we were asked as a couple. I told him I was tired of being asked to do things I didn't want to do. If he wanted to speak, then go ahead, but let them know they need to get someone else in my place because I wasn't going to do it. So they did. I hated pretty much all my callings (I don't like teaching, I don't like working with little kids and youth)and I was just so sick of feeling obligated to do yet one more thing I didn't want to do.

This was about a year before we left. The beginning of the end for me.

A few years ago, as a 15 year old teacher, I was asked to give a talk on the trinity. This was right around when I was getting really fed up with the church, so I gave the driest, most by-the-book talk ever, with no feelings or personal attachments at all and closed with "Thank you for your time" instead of "in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.". I was not asked back for quite some time, and when I eventually was, I kindly refused. Later on, when I was telling a new Mormon friend about the experience and my closing words, he said "Is it bad that I've already heard this story even though I didn't know you?"

I developed a full-blown phobia about speaking in front of people at church. No matter what, talking in church always made me sick to my stomach. I relied heavily on my sweet mom to help me find a story/scripture to go along with the topic of the talk. She basically wrote my talk for me. I love her for that, because she wanted me to do well and knew it was very difficult for me. But even so, it was still gawd awful to get up and speak in front of people at church. I was a super shy kid/young adult, but deep down I didn't really care about church or the words I was saying. I felt forced to make a GOOD SHOW and compete with other speakers to have the BEST talk and the BEST, warmest, tear-jerking testimony to close out my talk with. NOPE. I searched and searched in my heart, but the testimony was never there, so I always felt like an epic failure.

I really hated the unwanted anxiety those experiences caused me. I should have said NO.

My experiences with actually refusing a talk have been very uncomfortable. I'm pretty polite to everyone and at one time I felt like the leadership had authority over me, so I simply did what they said. When I started refusing, they would get this look in their eye like "Are you serious?" I was never condemned for it, but I could definitely tell that they were judgemental about me being disobedient. I always felt the need to add a reason to why I couldn't speak, but eventually I just said no and they realized I was not a TBM and left me alone for the most part.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/04/2015 03:07PM by scottwritten.