Only I didn't know that then.

Yesterday after the church reversed its awful policy, I purposely sought out some of my Mormon friends' Favebook pages. I've been out for about 10 years now. I spend all my time around never Mormons now.

And when I look at the posts the Mormons I knew as a child make, I feel like I'm standing outside of a fishbowl looking at the fish swimming around. And I'm realizing that these are really creepy fish. They're posting about the revelations that will come this weekend. It's weird.

I used to think kind of talk was an indication of a good thing.

Someday, when I'm done with some other projects, I want to make some good fiction characters out of this and wrote an interesting book that really shows people who've never been in cults what it's like to look at the fishbowl from the outside and remember what it was like to be a fish while thinking, "These fish are creepy."

And the book's have to show what it's like to be taken advantage of by creeps before you really understand what creepy looks like.

What a journey.

Yup.

And the longer you've been out, the weirder they seem.

It's worse when it's family IMO. The more zealous the Mormons in my family, like the morg, the weirder they are to me now.

They've just been so clannish for all of their lives, I honestly don't think they know how to be anything else. They don't see themselves the way others see them.

They can be some of the most repressive, backwards clansmen one can ever have the misfortune of crossing paths.

I've met some really loving Mormons likewise. They are like emissaries for the cult, because they put on a face for the cult few others know how to. They are a facade. The majority are hateful, spiteful, gossip, and are no better or worse than the people they put down around them.

Another deception because they've bought into the lie too, hook, line, and sinker. They're just too good-hearted, proud, and kind to believe they've been duped by TSCC. Some multi-generationally.

Yes. Agree with all this.

In the outside world I am generally treated well.

In the cult as a convert I was treated as worse than worthless garbage... I was treated as suspicious. It was like they couldn’t figure out why I was there and thought I must be plotting something.

I finally came to agree with them that there must be something wrong with me to be there! And now I’m not!!!

"I finally came to agree with them that there must be something wrong with me to be there! And now I’m not!!!"

Good for you, Mel! LOL! You have a good attitude.

It's like when I was first being shunned. I bought into their shunning, and felt all alone, and like I didn't measure up. But I snapped out of it! I agreed with the Mormons that I did not belong with them. I agree with the policy that Mormons should not associate with apostates or apostate groups. It's such a relief to not be harassed anymore!

Creepy is right! Mormons trespass, peer in your windows, bang on your door late at night. My little girl used to have a recurring nightmare that the Mormon neighbors had turned into zombies, and were chasing her down the street, and when she ran into our house, the started clawing at the windows and doors.

Ever been to the Mormon temple? That's exactly like the creepy fishbowl that Aloneagain described. It's a different world, with different weird rules and gestures and costumes and chants. It's like temple Mormons breathe different air than the rest of us. Maybe they wear garments to hide their gills.

Valium and Pepsi,

I am glad you are out and hope your little girl no longer has nightmares. Why were you shunned, if you don’t mind me asking? If you have already said, my apologies for missing it.

The weird pride they took in being “different” was always strange to me. Normal people would not come harassing and knocking late at night but they probably reveled in the rules not applying to them.

Thank you for your support, Val! :) :). :)
So glad we are both out.

Yea, after resigning over fifteen years ago I have visited the wards in my home town maybe ten times in those years for various reasons, mostly due to pure curiosity, and each time I go back for a "visit" it gets weirder and weirder the longer I am out.

The group-think, bizarre beliefs, gullibility, etc. I always want to say in the classes out loud (but never do because I know they don't know any better):

"Wait a minute, are we serious here? We're adults for god's sake, living in a post-Eisenstein world and were talking about submarine-like barrages with blow holes and magic glowing rocks (Ether 2), and talking about Bible stories (that most rational Christians don't take literally) as if they are real like kids laying down for 'story time,' while ignoring what actual biblical scholars have to say! I can't take this! Grow up already!"

That is always how I feel when visiting.

Is it possible that, as Mormons, WE would also have been viewed as creepy?

Right. Of course we were creepy when we believed all that garbage, and when were trying to fit into Mormonism. My great grandparents were polygamists. How creepy is that?

Aloneagain--you are not really alone. Would you ever want to return to that old Releif Society group?

It's true, that the longer you are out, the wierder the Mormons seem. LOL, it might be that the leadership is becoming more fanatic, and the cult as a whole is also becoming more and more weird. It's both. Either way, I'm glad I don't have to go back and swim in that crappy fish-water ever again. Goldfish swim in, and gulp in, their own crap. Good analogy.

The mormon kids I grew up with weren't that creepy. The mormon's

I know are wonderful people.

I don't know what the difference is unless it has something to

do with Living in Calli, in L.A. instead of living in a mormon

enclave state like Utah.