I am a bit embarrassed to say I don't even know where to begin to find a job in a new place.

Sure, I know how to use Google, etc.

I have a background in working as a secretary and in special education.

I had a teaching license, but I no longer do because I could not handle all the misbehaved kids and the parents who never took responsibility. The rules, the regulations, etc. Sure you get that in any job, but in Utah, it has become one thing and one thing only: high test scores. To many children falling through the system, and I felt helpless, and that was my main goal in wanting to teach. I might have picked counseling, as I love to help the children succeed on a more one on one basis. That is impossible now with Utah's school classrooms bursting at the seams. There is no time to help them and it becomes more babysitting the kids more than anything. I was shocked at how little the parents blow off anything (it could have been just my school), but wow. Zero accountability.

One part of me feels like I wasted time going back to college, only to realize it definitely wasn't the type of job for me, but at least I have a Bachelor's degree.

Basically? I have been scared to leave Utah. I thought I was in a Holy Place..haha. Sorry, but I did. I don't want to make rash decisions, but my child and I have decided when she gets back in a few months we are moving.

We have to for our happiness and peace.

Sure, there are issues everywhere. Yes, your problems don't go away, but I need a fresh page. I realized here, no matter what you do, your past and your family will always be putting a dent in any positive changes, as the only answer is 'go to church' and all will be well.

It's not anymore.

So....Craigslist has become more and more spammy (not a word, I know), and I am unsure of how to go about this.

Could any of you recommend sites, beautiful states to live in where I can rebuild.

I have lived in a place that is horrendous in the summer. I'd prefer a place that has pretty good weather. I know might be a dumb thing, but I have felt suffocated my whole life with the church and the heat. Maybe I combine them in my head, and start to dislike both.

It all comes down to my own decision, but I am sincerely asking for help. I feel like the girl in that new Netflix show without the extra pep. Is it Unbreakable? I know that is the song it starts with.

So.....here goes nothing. Trying to be brave. I can't believe I even have to ask advice at this age. It shows how childlike the church can keep you if you aren't aware.

Thank you in advance. :)

I am in Roanoke, Virginia.

I really like it here.

Four seasons, all of them beautiful.

Summers not too hot, winters not too cold. Just enough snow to make you feel that you have had winter. This year the snows came waaay late injecting a little drama into our lives. Sometimes it doesn't snow at all.

Blue Ridge Mountains are magnificent.

Roanoke is getting too built up for me, but no doubt about it, this is a beautiful part of the country.

Oh, there is a Mormon-themed college just up the road, but it's not like you are in the shadows of the BYU.

The fruit trees are all abloom. The flowering trees are all a twinkle with white, pink and red blossoms.

You could do worse.

Lois

Have you thought of being a live in nanny?

What about being a tutor? We have a couple of relatives with teaching degrees who worked at tutors. One worked for Sylvan Learning Center.

Have you tried indeed? http://www.indeed.com/

Being a live-in nanny would be an easier transition, plus you don't have to save up for deposits and first-months rent and all that. I use care.com to find my jobs, but sittercity works, too.

If you want to teach and not move too far, Alburquerque has a teacher shortage. There's lots to d and, milder winters than further north. New Mexico is beautiful, but not without problems, just a FYI.

http://www.findyourspot.com/ You do need to register but I have never received spam or advertising from them. Take the quiz a few times with different perimeters then explore the places they say are a good match. It's free :)

Look into the Pac NW. Beautiful, clean, mild weather, friendly people who don't care about the religion of others. Ocean, mountains, many walking trails, places to camp if you are so inclined. Lots of little towns with lots to offer.

I was about to suggest the Dallas-Fort Worth area, until I re-read your post about the heat. I lived there for several years and the heat can get bad in the late spring / summer / early fall. Late spring it can combine with humidity and you feel like you're beathing water at times. From July to September, it usually goes dry (not always).

ASIDE from that, it's a great area with lots of opportunities in the job market. Mid-fall to mid-spring is very nice. It drops below freezing at most two weeks a year during the evenings. When the trees bloom in the spring, it's a pretty sight in a lot of the suburbs. There are Mormons, but they are scattered pockets and a very small minority in the 'plex.

Another place to consider is Denver. Good economy, great night life and one of the best views on earth! There are a lot of young people in Denver and there is always something to do.

There are more Mormons there than Dallas, but still it is just as easy to blend in the everyday crowd. Weather has four very distinct seasons and if you love mountains, you're right at the doorstep of the Rockies. When I was there, fall was always the best part of the year (in my book, at least).

Although I have only visited Seattle (I have friends there), it really is a great place to be. I've looked at jobs there, but nothing has panned out yet. I can't tell you much about Mormons in the area, so I will leave it to some of our Pacific Northwest members to fill you in.

BTW - Portland, Oregon is another up and comming city that has a lot of life to it. Interviewed for a job there and love the town. Wished I had landed that one. I'll leave it to our locals to fill you in on full info as well.

On the job front: There are TONS of websites that will fill you in on jobs for any areas in the country. Chamber of Commerces are good places to go for information on employers and cost-of-living in the area. Job websites are good, but I would stay with the 'big named' ones. Another place to look for jobs is at the state-ran Unemployment Office / Workforce Commission websites. I found a good starter job there when I moved to the Dallas area years ago. It got me established in the area and eventually I found a better job because of it.

Your thoughts on Craiglist is spot-on. For job hunting, I would keep clear of them. Job agencies or job 'head hunters' can be okay, but do your homework on them! The Better Business Bureau can be an excellent tool to review a possible employer.

Finally: Your friends can be your best resource! If they live in a town you're thinking about moving to, go visit. See if you can come to an agreement about staying with them on a short-term basis until you get on your feet. They also know the ins-and-outs of the town: what parts of town are booming...where NOT to live...who the big employers are.

I wish you the best of luck in your hunt and fresh start!

Edited to add: clearing up typos!



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 04/13/2015 03:34PM by Talon Avex.

House sitting/estate managing would get you out quickly, until you decide/research where to go. Your adult daughter is going with you? You need a place where you both can obtain work and have a social life.

Get a passport if you don't have one yet. Break free of the bubble of the BoM belt. Teach English in another country? The sky is the limit!

You could even do that at home.

Flathead Valley, MT. Beautiful place. Great skiing and other outdoor activities. Minimal Mormonism. Good food and beer. 3 hours from me!! LOL

RB

Japan. Korea. China. Get out of the US for a while, see the real world. Good for you, great for your kid. Either a developed country or a rich, rapidly developing country would be comfortable, and there's always a demand for qualified teachers. As far as helping children on a one-on-one basis, you can be a private tutor, either for English or for whatever your degree is in, and it'll more than pay the bills. There are plenty of international schools out there, but local schools can be heaps more fun.

Most of the world's population lives in a small area of the planet; that's where life, culture, and technology progress the fastest. This is the place to be:
http://i.imgur.com/CK6aONG.jpg

If you like Utah's climate, I would recommend Colorado. It has very similar climate and geography, but is largely Mormon-free. I loved living there -- the only thing that brought me back east was my family. You might also look at the Pacific northwest, i.e. the Seattle area or Portland.

I hear you on teaching being a difficult profession. That's pretty much everywhere. You might investigate getting your master's in something related, ie. ESL, counseling, or perhaps do a bit of a detour and go into speech pathology (some places may even pay for you to go back to school to be a SLP.) The SLP's that I've talked to are a happy bunch, as are most ESL teachers.

There are some online schools -- a friend of mine does that. That might also be worth a look. Private/independent schools are another idea.

Good luck on your hunt. I think that a move would be a very positive thing for you.

I don't have advice for where you should move (because it's hot where we are), but I highly, highly suggest you do it! We left Utah 8 years ago and moved to Dallas. We had no friends here, my husband had no job, but we just wanted out! I'm so, so glad we made the decision to leave.

We bought a cheap house and hoped for the best. We knew there were jobs here and we had saved a little money. We were willing to work double shifts at McDonalds if we had to! His Utah employer ended up offering to let him work from home for them for a bit and he was able to find a good job within a few months.

It was really scary, but not nearly as scary for us as staying in Utah. I would focus on affordable areas, climate and crime. People made fun of us and said we were expecting too much and would probably be disappointed in Texas. It wouldn't have mattered where we went, we planned to settle in and make it home. Luckily we happen to really like it here. Good luck to you.

SW Oregon has close to perfect weather IMO.

madalice Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> SW Oregon has close to perfect weather IMO.

Yes, Oregon west of the Cascades (within 100 miles of the Pacific coast) has an ideal climate, with all four seasons (all mild). It is also beautiful - forests, rivers, mountains. People are also very nice. When we first moved here (25 years ago) we were surprised that people on the sidewalk would look right at you and smile. Life is a little slower-paced here. Nobody's in a big rush. Nice sense of community.

If you are certified in SIM strategies, Language!Plus, Lindamood Bell (series), Alphabetic Phonics or Fundamentals, Michele Garcia Winner's "Social Thinking", or another multisensory research proven methodology, you may be able to get lucrative work as a tutor for those who have specific learning disabilities. Specialized tutoring like this can pay 30-50 dollars an hour.

I backpacked, skied, outdoorsy in many ways. But I was getting disenchanted with mormonism and the press of people on the wasatch front.

I moved for one greedy reason -- pay at the new job was FANTASTIC, but I still thought I'd hate the place and move on.

20 years now in Ohio and I'm so so glad I moved.

I read RfM occasionally and laugh at Utardisms I no longer have to tolerate.

Getting here was easy -- a friend of mine came first and pulled me here. We're no longer very good friends (for religious reasons as you can imagine) but that didn't stop me from liking Ohio.

Sleigh rides in winter (Amish style) and plenty of hiking and backpacking. I still lead a little hoard of Ohioians to Utah every once in a while just to see their reaction to hiking into the Uintas (miss the snow but beat the sheep).

Utardisms....hahaha. ;)

Thank you, thank you, thank you all!!

You have given me a lot of ideas to start with.

It is hard for me to speak up and admit I don't know anything about the 'real world'.

I was kept in a figurative box by religion, my family, and my own mind.

Here's to letting go of the fear I am feeling, and finding the peace my child and I deserve.

You guys are great!!

When we left the cult we moved to DFW Texas. There are help wanted signs everywhere! The housing is mid-priced for the USA but going up rapidly because of land and building materials. Used homes can be had at good prices. All of my kids have good jobs and can get new ones whenever they want to make a change. Teachers start at close to $50,000 and you can sub at $90/day until you find what you really want to do. We live in the Denton area at this time. There are lots of Baptists,Evangelicals and Catholics all fine folks. There is very little crime and police and fire do a great job. We have two universities and a community college nearby. It does get very hot but most people spend 95% of their time indoors anyway so you get used to it. There are 7 million people in the metro area and hundreds moving in everyday. Commercial and freeway construction are booming to keep up. WinStar Casino(the largest in the world) is 45 minutes up the road. Colorado Springs is an eleven hour drive. We do get tornadoes and hail some years but not a big issue. It is nice and green here most of the year which I prefer to the desert. Well I'm sure this is more than you want to know but I just want you to know there is peace, safety, affordability and prosperity outside of Zion.

"Could any of you recommend sites, beautiful states to live in where I can rebuild.

"I have lived in a place that is horrendous in the summer. I'd prefer a place that has pretty good weather."

I've lived in east Tennessee for 31 years. It has great beauty and good weather. Actually, you could pick a lot of cities in TN, KY, NC, VA, or north AL or GA, and have a good life. Millions of people are moving to the mid-south from all over the country. If you're a teacher, especially special ed, you can get a good job in many of those places. Just search the 'net and find a good place for you.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/15/2015 03:51PM by eunice.

I'm from the PNW, and have always loved the weather, scenery, and the endless list of things to do.

I moved to Ohio for 15 years due to my husband getting transferred there. I hated almost every minute of it.

My kids often stayed home from school in the winter because it was too cold to stand at the bus stop. Twenty below wasn't unusual. There was two weeks in the spring that were nice. Then came summer.
Hot and extremely muggy. Day and night the air conditioner ran. It didn't cool down much at night. There was no going out in the evenings to enjoy the great out doors. If you did, the mosquitoes would eat you alive. I gave up my love of gardening because of bugs, humidity, woodchucks, rabbits, deer, and the misery of it all. Finally fall would arrive the wonderful 2 to 3 weeks of fall.

Then back to winter. Endless snow shoveling. They salt roads and parking lots. This trashes your cars, shoes, and garage floors. So cold you have to dress from boots to hats in order to go to the mailbox. It seems to go on forever.

One thing I forgot to mention was tornadoes. Spring and fall. The tornado sirens send everyone running for their basements. Basements that have to have a de-humidifier running 24/7 in the summer. If you don't do that, everything in the basement will be coated in mold within 30 days.

The land scape bored me to tears. Flat, flat, and more flat. You could drive for hours and it looked just like where you came from. I used to imagine the clouds on the horizon being mountains. The so called "great lake Erie" wasn't all that great. Smelly putrid body of water it was. The beaches were often closed because of high bacteria levels. The fish weren't anything I would eat.

That was my impression of Ohio (and the midwest in general). The day I left was my happiest day ever. Not only that, my husband paychecks tripled after leaving Ohio.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/14/2015 11:41PM by madalice.

Many of my moves were a blind leap into the unknown. Lots of them didn't work out quite as hoped. Well, duh!

Then I got smart and did due diligence trips prior to my most recent relocation. Checked out three different parts of the country. One was too expensive once you add it all up; one was as boring as watching paint dry; the third one had just about everything I wanted.

The three destinations most mentioned by other posters are my favorites also. East Tennessee is mountainous, and cool, but not a lot of industry except right on the I-40. A lot of retirees like Crossville.

PNW is gorgeously beautiful, possibly a little too mild in the summer. Culturally liberal in most places.

For culturally conservative, try Texas. It is absolutely booming. Almost anywhere on the I-35 corridor from Dallas to San Antonio has plenty of action. Or a thousand small towns to choose from. Going to be hot from mid-June to mid-September, but fairly mild winters.

No substitute for visiting your prospective new home town first, though. If at all possible stay with friends or relatives. Or friends of relatives, or relatives of friends. Someone who can and will show you around and talk up the place.

Buy and study a map before leaving home; be well acquainted with the various place names and the general layout. Come in on a Thursday evening. Use Friday to see the bustle of a routine weekday. Stay over the weekend to see what the more relaxed moments look like. Leave Sunday night or Monday.

Best of success,

JAR

"East Tennessee is mountainous, and cool, but not a lot of industry except right on the I-40."

East TN attracts a lot of industry because it has two interstates (40 and 75) from which half the population of the country can be supplied with products with one day's truck drive. Also, TN has low corporate taxes and no state income tax.

A lot of the industry around Knoxville is based in Oak Ridge and Maryville, which are both a few miles from interstates. There are multiple automotive-related factories, such as Denso and Alcoa Aluminum. Oak Ridge has a lot of high-tech, high-paying jobs near the old nuclear plant facilities. Oak Ridge is getting this new factory soon:

http://oakridgetoday.com/2015/03/13/metal-powder-manufacturing-company-investing-313-million-in-oak-ridge-adding-620-jobs/

All of that booming industry will produce all kinds of jobs, including teachers.

East TN is also a major tourist area, with the Great Smoky Mountains, Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg, numerous state and national forests, rivers, lakes, amusement parks, etc. You can go to a fun place every weekend of the year within two hours' drive, and not hit the same place twice. There are four distinct seasons, with spectacular spring and autumn, and just a few occasional snows in winter. It's hot only from mid-May to mid-September.

randyj,

Thanks for that correction. Made me realize just how far out of date my info is. Dayum, the years pile up fast!

Regards,

JAR

Check out the forums at: http://www.city-data.com/

If you lean toward the conservative side and like lakes and forest, CDA Idaho is a beautiful place, cooler than Utah, but not cold. You'd have to check into the job situation, but Spokane is just a stones throw away.

Just wanted to add: Make sure you check the housing/rental options and school districts (if you have a child in K-12). We live in the Denver metro and home and rental prices are crazy right now...I think one of the local news channels reported that the area has the largest year over year price increases in the country. You also have to be very careful with the school districts. Luckily, we moved here during the recession and found a place for cheap in probably the best school district in the state...added bonus, little to no obvious mormons :)

Another thing, with your background with special education have you thought about continuing your education...possibly into more of a counseling role? Because of a disabled son, we receive the Disability Scoop newsletter and emails and this one from one of their sponsors just came through:

http://www.disabilityscoop.com/emailers/sponsored/150415_nova.html

Upstate New Yorkers head south for jobs. North & South Carolinas, Florida (Florida is harder to find jobs because so many retirees there competing...) then there's the deep South. What I've heard about there is the clannishness, if you're not a native southerner; sort of like not being a Mormon in the heart of Utah.

Where I live is lower priced for housing but jobs are not plentiful. The seasons are beautiful, but winters are harsh and drawn out. Last winter was the worst on record - same as other places, but when you factor in location then it's still worse by degrees.

I'm hoping to retire to southern Utah. Based on what you shared, you are living there now. I won't be looking for a f/t job once I make the transition, but will try to find something to help stretch the budget. Hopefully my not being LDS won't be a problem when that time comes. I met many inactive and non-Mormons when visiting there this past winter.

Fell in love with the place. It is breathtakingly beautiful! If that's where you live now, I'd love to trade places. :)

The job market wasn't great when I was there. People are willing to take just about anything to scrape by. Yet that seems true in many places since the last Great Recession. Wish there was somewhere that had everything going for it.