So, I'm on my way to check myself into the psych ward for a spell. If any of you start having convincing thoughts about cruising the afterlife, another drastic measure you may consider is the hospital. This isn't the first time for me, and I know this latest vacation may blow up my marriage and much else I've worked for, I may be starting from scratch when I'm out, and it's not a fun place, but the alternative is worse.

Some of you may have been or maybe are in a similar boat for whatever reason. I know tscc can be a mind melt, screws families, and that it also generates a stigma toward mental illness. My TBM extended family always refused to accept this whole deal, they attribute it to sin, (I admit there are 'sins' I am mighty fond of.) This has nothing to do with sin or 'unworthiness,' and also has little to do with my upbringing in tscc, aside from it going untreated for much too long. It's a fucking medical issue.

Sorry if this seems super dramatic, I just can't stand mental issues being viewed as shameful. Fuck that shit. Repeatedly.

I admire the resilience shown on this board, y'all've been a good example of pulling through the god-awful. If this post helps anyone in that same way, tres bien.

Don't freak out, this isn't a cry for help, I won't have internet in there so I won't be posting for a good while in a few hours. This really sucks but I'll be getting competent help soon.

Cheers!

Good luck. Hope you get the professional help you need.

I'm really glad you recognized your symptoms for what they are and are getting the help you need. That shows how strong you really are.

I hope that when you finish treatment that your life hasn't been turned inside out that you fear.

Good luck! and GOOD JOB!

Take care of yourself. Glad you're getting the help you need!

Many of us have found ourselves wanting to check out. I never did check myself in, though I should have a few times.

Thank you for writing about your experiences. So many people that need medical help for mental illnesses are embarrassed and humiliated. They go to great lengths to hide it. There's a stigma attached to mental illness that isn't doing anyone any favors.

I think that the more its talked about, the more likely people who need help will go get it.

Hope all goes well with you. Get well, and be back soon.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/14/2015 12:30PM by madalice.

hope it's all you need it to be - good luck.

Just by recognizing the problem, and doing something smart, you may be healthier than you think.

Good luck

Know there are many people hoping you receive the help you need. Many start a new life later, for various reasons. It is tough, but you can do it.

Good luck with your progress. Remember people care about you and that you matter on this planet. =)

Obviously you don't need to go as you seem pretty fracken together to me.

Thanks so much for getting help. My daughter and brother died by suicide. I think a lie those that are severely depressed tell themselves is that their loved ones will be better off. This is so NOT true. I lump along, but everyday is hard.

Another brother has attempted and has been hospitalized several times. I tell him that his only job is to stay here, keep breathing. It's a hard job, but please, we love him so much.

My brain has this disease as well. SSRIs don't work well for me. Welbutrin is worthless. MAOIs stop those suicide thoughts like magic. Something to consider.

Sending peaceful thoughts.

Smart move to check in instead of checking out. Best of wishes to you. I spent a lot of my young life wishing I could die, watching cars drive down the road and wanting them to lose control and run me over. You are right fuck all of that shit. Then get yourself better and go live your life.

You're in good company. I have used the services of a mental health facility myself. One patient I met there was suicidal, and he didn't know why. He just felt the urge to check out, and I was glad that he checked in. He was a nice guy. I was an outpatient myself, due to spiraling depression and paralyzing anxiety. It seems I suffered some trauma in my early years.

I wish the very best for you, lastofthewine. May your thoughts find rest.

--Don

Good lluck & i'm glad you decided to get help. I too have had mental illness. Mine is anxiety- OCD and depression. Have gone to therapy many years to overcome/ live with this. So i'm rooting for you!!!

I love your courage and wit.

Good luck to you.

It's not at all shameful, and it's quite courageous to recognize you need help, and to go get it.
My wishes for your healing...!

Glad you recognize the need for help and that you are taking the steps to make your life better. I wish my father would have chosen to get get help a year and a half ago rather than "cruising the afterlife." Sending good thoughts your way!

I wish you all the best. I think that it's a great thing that you realize you need help and are pursuing it. Good luck!

Hello, this is one of those lurkers!

I'm actually a part of the church now -- for about 5 months, although I don't pay tithing. I actually read this site for an idea of what others in my ward are thinking or going through. I haven't grown up or really known mormonism. I joined the church because I really had nothing else going on. It's been interesting so far, so I'm still attending. Although, I'm curious, do I ever get to stop meeting with the missionaries? The more I cancel, the more they call.

Anyway, I wanted to respond to your post because I'm actually giving a talk on Sunday (topic: What we learn from our parents) about how growing up with such a lax attitude led me to be admitted to a psychiatric ward and led to a diagnosis of a brain tumor. Some might find that non-inspirational, but it ultimately saved my life. I had severe psychotic symptoms starting at about age 18. I was tempted to hide everything out of shame, but I realized I needed help and asked to be admitted to a hospital for a psychiatric evaluation. The evaluation led to a diagnosis of a brain tumor and *possible* schizophrenia or depression. The psychiatrists couldn't agree! But it didn't matter. I went to an endocrinologist for the brain tumor and went through cognitive behavioral therapy for the psychiatric issues. In my opinion? Not a big deal. None of it was my fault and getting a diagnosis is just one step closer to getting proper help.

I'm making this the focus of my talk on Sunday because I suspect that people in my ward have depression or other issues, but no one really seems to want to talk about it. One of my members has a teenage daughter with an intellectual disability -- I work in the MHMR field -- but isn't currently getting her help for whatever personal reasons.

Anyway, didn't mean to hijack the conversation and make it all about me. I just wanted you to know that these issues happen and getting help is all that matters. Hopefully anyone reading this post -- ex-members, current members, or never-members -- will remember that their health is more important than someone else's opinion.

Great that you're getting help and recognize it before making a possible irreversible decision. It's a process and it will take time. Therapy and getting psychological healing isn't about someone agreeing with you about everything, it's about tearing yourself down and building yourself back up into a healthy, whole person.

My best wishes to you.

I've recently had my own issues with this. It can be scary but it seems like most mental health problems can be treated pretty well nowadays.

I hope you're able to get the help you need and begin enjoying life!

Best of luck!


: ) : ) : )

You are in my thoughts.

Good call, by the way. Most people would not recognise the signs, so you are half way to being better.