Posted by:
ziller
(
)
Date: April 15, 2015 02:14PM
The vast basement of the RfM Administrative Control Center contains a Smithsonian-like repository of all things Mormon collected by apostates around the world and sent there to be cataloged, archived and studied.
There one can peruse the world’s largest collection of ancient Lamanite pikes, swords and halberds.
Rows of shelves groan under the weight of wooden chests full of Nephite coins.
Other shelves hold glass jars containing specimens of silk, honey, barley and wheat – all from Book of Mormon times!
There is even a restored ancient Aztec mural bearing the very name and image of the Prophet Joseph Smith, Jr.
It is rumored that the basement of the RfM Administrative Control Center has secret tunnels and bunkers containing even more artifacts that only the elite of the ExMo hierarchy are allowed to see.
It is said that deep within their heavily guard vault the Apostates possess such treasures as the shrunken head of Brigham Young, the lost 116 pages of the Book of Mormon, and, it is even whispered, the mummified body of RealJesus!
But, the five brave apostates roaming these catacombs this night were not interested in any of those unholy relics.
They were on a mission.
They were after the huge collection of LDS Youth Roadshow props and costumes garnered over the years from Apostate raids on LDS Stake Houses and Slave Ships.
Cricket dug through some Deseret Industries bags and found an oriental silk bathrobe and a turban that kind of matched.
RaptorJesus found a box of costume jewelry and was carefully placing large jeweled rings on each of his manicured talons. The rings beautifully accented his robes and a paper crown completed the ensemble.
Scooter and Ziller were in a deep discussion regarding a certain two-man camel suit.
Scooter had already put on the front half of the suit and was standing there with the camel head under his arm while Ziller pretended not to know how to put on the rear half.
“Why does Ziller have to be the back half?” Ziller asked.
“Because this whole thing was Ziller’s idea,” replied Scooter.
“Ziller was just thinking out loud,” Ziller explained as he slipped his feet in the leggings and pulled the rear half of the camel suit up around his shoulders.
“Yeah, well,” Scooter said, “try to do better next time.”
“OK. Secure that scuttlebutt,” said Moose.
“Steve Benson made me foreman of this operation, so I advise you all to get your things together and head down to the garage.”
“The RfM limo is waiting for us.”
ziller