You know, every time I see see another story about some Bishop with child porn or some Stake President that molested some teenager or something, I have to remind me self, "They only ever catch a small percentage of perpetrators." Sometimes I really do wonder just how widespread the sexual perversion is among Mormons with high authority... how many haven't been caught.

My curiosity about such matters heightened over the last few years while as an adult I discovered layers upon layers of sexual perversion that has occurred with my family: Molestation, incest, rape, and more. I heard stories about things I couldn't believe. I suppose I dodged all the bullets because I was loud, aware and had a lot of self-respect... but man, sometimes it's happening right under your nose to people close to you and you don't even realize as a kid.

So yeah, given the fact that my family and extended family was all Mormon, it really makes me wonder just how bad the sexual perversion among Mormons leaders actually is, if you could pull back the curtain.

Honestly, I think even most of us would be shocked.

You can't quantify "unknown unknowns" as someone said. I'll give most church leaders the benefit of the doubt, since I do not believe they do these things (nor do most school teachers, scout leaders, soccer coaches, doctors, police etc).

However, I think a considerable portion does go unreported.

They say 1:4 women experience sexual abuse. 1:6 men experience sexual abuse. 46% of sexually abused men were sexually abused by women.

We don't talk about sexual abuse of men because we have this image of men. They get sexually abused in prison but not out of it and of course if they get sexually abused by a woman, they are either called lucky or really wanting sex.

I think it is closer to 1:4 men are sexually abused. So statistically where does the Mormon church fit in on that? Are you still supposed to fight to the death over rape? What if you are 5 years old and the never once club stigmatizes you because you sat on grandpas lap who had a history of pedophilia that was repented of and repented of and never reported to the justice system who would have put you in jail and at the mercy of prisoners who would kill pedophiles. Or actually would have given them coping skills.

What is scarier is that 50% of those abusing children are not pedophiles. They are using children as sex partners because "they lack the necessary social skills to develop and maintain emotional and sexual relationships with appropriately aged peers".

And scarier still is that we have a person who has majored in business or law, not pedophilia and related psychiatric disorders, deciding to keep them around children without warning. Does the hotline attach the members calling to a psychiatrist to help them? No. The justice system does.

Some us feel extremely embarrassed and ashamed. It takes a lot of courage to deal with it. It's easier to repress and bury those memories. I am still trying to get over my abuse.

I am sorry. I hope you have been able to contain the pain and damage.

yes, many men and women repress but you still act out as your mind tries to deal with the repression. Often this also involves sex acts that others stigmatize.
I remember the "over sexed woman" who trapped a stake president dentist into different sex acts. All I could think of was this woman was obviously a survivor of sex abuse, usually in their own family. and they are acting out because of abuse. She was stigmatized as a whore. The poor stake president.
Had the stake president had a basic education in what victims of sexual abuse act out perhaps he would have not added to the burden of this poor woman. Victims are often victimized over and over again.
How many families are broken because the wife is blamed for not giving the husband enough sex, for gaining weight, for not keeping up when her husband victimizes their own children as a sexual predator because the husband cannot maintain a relationship with their wife. 50% of sexual predators have a wife that they can blame for their own problems.

There's even been a specific term coined for it, since those who study it want to make clear it isn't just Catholic priests who perpetrate. It's "Ecclesiastical Abuse."

That sounds a euphemistic way to describe raping children.

Especially since the subject makes most people uncomfortable, and they don't want to discuss it in the first place.

We need to get the hell over it and deal with the problem.

Yes.

SSA, conversion therapy, Courts of Love, ecclesiastical abuse: euphemisms used to conceal the most brutal forms of discrimination and mistreatment. Orwell would have decried them vigorously as the dominant class's preferred means of hiding and minimizing its barbarity.

vahn421 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Honestly, I think even most of us would be
> shocked.

One thing to know is how much grooming is involved in the hidden abuse. Probably perpetrator's success at keeping their abuses hidden relies on their ability to detect victims who will not out them as perpetrators. Joseph Smith was not an example of someone who groomed well. He had easier ways at his disposal.

I was a poster child for a victim. My sibs weren't. Child molesters hone their abilities to detect the people who probably won't report the abuse and might even consider it fair trade for their attentions.

In my opinion much more happens than is reported but it isn't as widespread as one would suspect unless the people involved are easier victims for perpetrators.

True. A small number of sex offenders commit multiple crimes.

I have a convicted sex offender in my family. The history of these offenders is that they continue committing their offences escalating until they encounter real consequences that stop them from seeking fresh victims.

Some sex offenders may reform themselves after a minor brush with the law and some counselling. But most do not stop seeking their "thrill" without experiencing dire consequences. A "close call" (say an arrest without formal charges) may only embolden them with a belief that what they have done isn't serious.

In Canada time held in remand (pre-trial) counted double during sentencing. Our sex offender would wait in remand until the Crown (prosecutor) would tell his accuser that he would likely only be sentenced to time served as a first offender (officially).

Then she would often think, "Why bother?" Here's why: his record remained unblemished for so long and his next sex crime would be more serious.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 06/13/2019 12:43PM by idleswell.

Shudders.

This sounds like a huge gamble with victims piling up. Our legal system may be more a part of the problem then a system of recourse. No wonder many victims don't step up.

Vahn421 wrote: "I suppose I dodged all the bullets because I was loud, aware and had a lot of self-respect."

I believe that, right there, is our best hope. Teach our children to not be victims. My pedophile big brother knew he would be in serious trouble, because I was a loud-mouth. I did get spankings, many times, for "causing trouble", screaming, kicking my big brother in the shins, but the spankings were preferable to being tackled, stripped, handled, and humiliated. My big brother beat me up all the time, and was never punished for it, but he never was able to rape me. I have PTSD, but I got over most of the trauma. Big brother molested other little girls, and was constantly being sued, but my parents covered-up for him. He paid money, but was never arrested, never registered as a sex offender. Of course, I kept him away from my own children, and taught them what to do, if they ever were approached by a pedophile, of any kind, or even felt a bit "creepy" around someone,

Children are taught the wrong things. For example, that all Mormons are good, and the Bishop is especially good. All adults with "authority" have rights over you, and you must obey. Never question authority. If an adult has "credentials" or a badge, don't question if it is real. Even if it's real, it can be abused. I was taught that my brother "loved" me. When he destroyed my belongings--from toys to my new Subaru--it was always an accident. I could have prevented a would-be rapist from breaking my arm, had I been wiser. He was a friend of a friend, and I mistakenly thought I could reason with him, and talk him down. I should have been taught physical defense tactics!

With the present penal system, leaky laws, threats and blame cast onto the victims, we have less of a chance to stop the assailants. Our best bet is to protect, arm and fortify the victims.

They don't teach that in Primary, or YW/YM. I don't think they teach this in the public schools in Utah. I haven't seen any "McGruff" programs here, or "safe house" signs around.

Yeah, I think of such abuse as a Mormon thing, too, because I and my children have had so many attempted assaults, all from Mormons, but my brother is the only one in my Mormon family...

...that I know about....

there was a study that found there was no more abuse within the Catholic Church than in the general population.

I suspect it's the same for Mormonism.

See "Priests Commit No More Abuse than Other Males", Newsweek 4/7/2010

We've been through that article before.

The basis for that article is a study done by John Jay College based on data from the Catholic Church and funded by the Catholic Church. The data is from 1950 to 1992, so by definition excluding all the scandals that have occurred, or been uncovered, since then. The study and the consequent articles are a measure of the success of the Church at suppressing child abuse and little more.

As far as I'm concerned every worthiness interview is child abuse condoned by the prophet, the 12 and everyone in between including the parents.

If you include inappropriate touching, especially of children, I have one answer, A SHIT TON !!!