When I was a Mormon, my mind often focused on the future - and it was a future saturated in Mormonism. Life, for me, was in many ways about what would transpire in six months, three or five or ten years, twenty or forty years, or even in the afterlife. And so saturated was my sense of the future with Mormonism, that when I thought ahead, there was really no non-Mormonism there. It was just all about church stuff. As a result, I failed to prepare for a number of important non-Mormon future events, and I also failed in some respects to just relax and enjoy my present.

I feel like I have redressed that problem now, more than ever: I plan for important future events, but also I feel able to enjoy the present in a way that was foreign to me as a Mormon. It feels good.

Have others had the same experience? How specifically has this changed for you?

Just curious.

T.

Sam Harris.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3JzcCviNDk

I very much enjoyed the short video by Sam Harris that you posted. I consider myself informed, yet have never known of him, and I am sure you and others here know equally fascinating people whom I've not yet heard of. Please share with us other possibly obscure but wonderful thinkers. I hope you and others will offer the minds (online) that really float your boat, since leaving the sticky shores of the swamp of Mormon.

My humble offerings today...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muHg86Mys7I

I also very much enjoy this fellow:

https://www.youtube.com/user/stefbot

I find it much easier to live in the present when I am not "cramming for the final" that will determine whether or not I make it to heaven.

I was 17 and first getting involved in the church, re: socializing and getting to know the local mormon converts & their teenaged children.

I met one lady, living in Carleton Place, Ontario, who continually said that her Patriarchal Blessing (PB) claimed she would live long enough for the second coming of Christ - that she would see Jesus face to face. (If she kept faithful and active in the church.)

Fortunately, I knew that these PBs were wrong and the "priesthood posers" were fallible & fakers, so I didn't buy into the magical thinking.

I see by her obituary that she died in June 2011. As far as I know, Jesus hadn't appeared before 2011.

So, she lost her faith? or the PB was fabricated? Lol.
Funny how one women's faith, or lack of it, controlled the second coming of Christ.

Enjoying the present? She lived her life just waiting for the second coming and didn't live in the present.

I refused to obsess about the "next life" or the second coming. We have no control over anything but our minds. If we can control our own minds, we will prevent others from controlling it for us.

Pretty sure I know this lady. Although she certainly believed her PB, I can assure you that after you left the valley, she did live her life for the moment and not just for some mythical future. I do understand your point though, that it is easy to mis-focus our energies.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/18/2015 06:21PM by wowbagger.

Well, that's one way cults enslave people: they wax eloquent about the glorious future of milk and honey......we must to work hard and sacrifice to get our just reward in heaven.

"Work hard and sacrifice" is a great common sense plan for getting ahead in life, but when you're supposed to do it until you're dead, well.....

"I have lived with several Zen masters, all of them cats" Ekhart Tolle, The Power of Now.

I still focus very much on the future, because I'll be facing retirement in several years - and have some planning to do before I make my move (cross country.)

I love living in the present much more now than as a TBM. Being freed from the shackles, I can focus more on what's in front of me, and enjoy living in the present as much as is humanly possible.

Living a good life is less about my religion now and more about being at peace with conscience. My values, integrity, character were framed and shaped by my TBM upbringing, and I cherish some of those values while at the same time have discovered there's a larger family in the world who share my core values that some TBM have no clue as to what it means to go deeper into spirituality &/or the meaning of life.

The simplistic answers I had growing up Mormon have been replaced with a quest for something deeper, even metaphysical where I'm free to question and seek out understanding - to satisfy the central aspect of my being - without sacrificing integrity. Being able to keep my autonomy is central to my existence.

It's okay to question. As a Mormon we were discouraged to question especially concerning that religion. I believe it's because the more we know, the more we come to know how bane and ridiculous the whole Mormon fabrication is.

Embracing ourselves is a part of recovery from Mormonism. Living in the present is very much a part of who we are now, and becoming. I like the following quote that kind of fits nicely here: "Every man is his own ancestor, and every man is his own heir. He devises his own future, and he inherits his own past." ~ Dr. Morris Mandel

Well, it's the only thing we got.

Once I admitted to myself that I don't "know" what happens after this life (or even if there is an afterlife) it made me feel so much more relaxed.

I enjoy the present so much more. I no longer obsess over whether or not I'm pleasing some invisible (imaginary?) being. I'm easier on myself, and (I believe) nicer to others.

Growing up Mormon there has always been a focus on the future: a future mission, a future marriage, future children, future grandchildren, future eternal life, future happiness. This "future self" had been so conditioned into my state of being that I now feel at a loss as to how to move forward with my life. One thing that is certain, is that nothing is certain anymore.

I skipped the mission part, so now I should be getting married but there is a huge difference between dating Mormon guys and non-Mormon guys. Dating a Mormon guy is like auditioning for a part in a theatrical performance. There is an unspoken acknowledgement that you are dating to see if the other is spouse material. You have to take on a character, a role, and hope that you get the part not only for life, but for all eternity.

Dating non-Mormons is completely different. There is usually no set "future" in the non-Mormon's thoughts, only the here and now. In some ways it is a relief to not have the pressure of marriage looming in the background, but there are other pressures and expectations - such as partying, and of course, sex - in the here and now. I have ex-Mormon friends that really enjoy the here and the now with their present relationships, but deep down, they always think their boyfriend or girlfriend will marry them someday. Marriage, for the non-Mormon people my age, is usually the furthest thing from their mind.

For me, navigating the non-Mormon dating world is as stressful as the Mormon dating world, only with no promise of a "future" whatsoever. I'm not sure if I am able to "enjoy the present" just yet, I still have a lot of "future" conditioning to work through.

This song pretty much sums it up.

"I Just Want To Take Your Time"

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=sam+hunt+take+your+time&qpvt=sam+hunt+take+your+time&FORM=VDRE#view=detail&mid=7FF940E6B1E1D52D7F057FF940E6B1E1D52D7F05

I think I have done a total 180 in my life by being more present. I used to be a chronic worrier, and religion was like adding gasoline to a fire for someone like me.

I had read articles about mindfulness and how it could help someone like me but I never tried it for any serious length of time. Initial attempts didn't yield much results.

It wasn't until my Dad died from cancer a year and a half ago that I gave mindfulness and mediation a serious shot as I was not copping well.

I started several months after his death and have practiced almost every day for close to 1.5 years. I think I have rewired mind brain to a certain extent. I feel a lot different, and better.

I don't mean for this to ne a plug for meditation or mindfulness. It did help, and I enjoy being present and having a queiter mind.

I like Sam Harris' take on it. We are always in the present moment. To me, this means that if I'm not enjoying myself I better do something to make that happen. The past is gone, the future doesn't exist. Religionists say that my way of thinking leads to hedonism. I don't think so. I'm not a hedonist, I'm an Epicurian. Look that shit up. There's a difference.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/18/2015 06:13PM by rationalist01.

Ohhhhhh...fond of luxury and indulgence in sensual pleasures....I like that! (Yep, I had to look it up!:P)

I hope to enjoy the present as soon as I figure out how to unwrap it.

"Is Your Future Already Decided? New theory of time suggests that the past, present AND future co-exist in the universe."

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2932870/Is-future-decided-New-theory-time-suggests-past-present-future-exist-universe.html#ixzz3Xhr8S5So

The illusion of time: past, present and future all exist together

"Space and time are fused together in what is called 'space time.'" "The sharp difference we see between past, present and future may only be an illusion."

https://youtu.be/vrqmMoI0wks

Absolutely! I constantly stressed about the future (and the past - e.g. shame for "sins") as a practicing Mormon. But I discovered that being present/in the moment/in the "Now" is where we find true peace. In a sense, the past and future don't even really exist!

Fear keeps pace with hope. Nor does their so moving together surprise me; both belong to a mind in suspense, to a mind in a state of anxiety through looking into the future. Both are mainly due to projecting our thoughts far ahead of us instead of adapting ourselves to the present. Thus it is that foresight, the greatest blessing humanity has been given, is transformed into a curse. Wild animals run from the dangers they actually see, and once they have escaped them worry no more. We however are tormented alike by what is past and what is to come. A number of our blessings do us harm, for memory brings back the agony of fear while foresight brings it on prematurely. No one confines his unhappiness to the present.

Seneca, "Letters from a Stoic," Letter 5

I do, Tal. I look forward only to anticipate good things happening:
-visits with my grandchildren
-our next camping trip with my wife and Cocker Spaniels
-the new craft brewery opening this summer in Lethbridge
-the next trap shoot I can afford to attend
-connecting with more members from my birth family I've just begun to
make contact with

NOTHING else in my life is worth fretting over.

Ron Burr



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/20/2015 12:34AM by Lethbridge Reprobate.

You are so right.

Looking for ways to make this monent
This life
right now
In real ways
More comfortable pleasant

& if I think about the future
Its what Counts in this monent
Making it more sustainable
Like a routine that makes the now taste great
Where to put the coffee

theme. Music helps me stay in the moment so a great tune and lyrics on this theme could be a smash hit.

Finding ways to live more deeply in the "precious present". Major benefit of my post Mormon life.

Now that does not mean forgetting about the future. Still need to be appropriately thoughtful - that is not ruminate - and make calls about such things as career and retirement.

Another plus I've found is that putting more attention on living in the present seems has made me more content with my life. Life is less about what was/could have been or what should/could be. It just is. And that is a good thing.

Some very touching thoughts here...

Having been born a Mormon, I did not realize the extent to which my sense of self depended on a conception of myself in time, and how a change in beliefs would affect that sense, and my general feelings about life, others, everything.

Nice idea, Cricket! I can't think of any songs about that sort of thing off the top of my head, so maybe there's a void there.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/19/2015 04:19PM by Tal Bachman.

One time I was sitting in RS and we were talking about the celestial kingdom after death if we stay worthy how great it will be. And I thought "what is with the now"? Oh yeah I remember right now is the trial phase or the preparation phase to become worthy to meet our heavenly father. I was pregnant and tired and the thought of becoming an eternal baby machine in the afterlife didn't sound like fun to me.

Yes enjoy the present. We all die someday Mormon or not lol.

It's been so easy to focus on the moment since I left the cult. I can remember always worrying about the future and how I might fit into heaven when that time came.

Now, I live for myself, my wife, kids, friends, and co-workers. I don't focus on most future events other than some things that might be calendared (i.e., birthdays, anniversaries, et al). Before, I would schedule most of my life around meetings and appointments. I have a life now and there is no going back.

Avec du fromage,

Cake

***"Life doesnt happen to you, it happens for you."***

I recently came acros this quote, and it spoke volumes to me at a time when I was feeling like a defective cog in the vast machine of mormonism.
My life was happening to me instead of for me. It was time to take my life back and start living it for me.

Thanks Tal. Great link to a profound discussion about enjoying the now.

A couple that I relate to the topic that I enjoy.

Just Breathe by Pearl Jam. Tough one for me to listen to now.

The Show by Lenka

Enjoy.

Thank you Tal;

Sometimes we forget how "seriously" we took ourselves, especially for us that were BIC. Even as scouts we were always working for our Eagles, preparing for graduating seminary, working part time jobs to save money for missions, preparing college applications, MTC memorizing lessons (languages), memorizing teaching techniques, trying to do our best (some trying for DL, ZL or AP), home for BYU??? Home to look for eternal mate, home to look for career, home to start church assignments, home to start genealogy, temple work, Home teaching, Elders quorum assignments, every member a missionary, more ward assignments, cleaning toilets, kids, chaperoning, tithing, correlation meetings, saving for kids missions, saving for possible elder mission. Then you find out that after you die, you and all the rest do not gain all remembrance of the pre-existence; but only arise with the knowledge gained from this life. So missionary work goes on in the spirit world. It never ends until the final judgment.

We are trained to never to accept the present. To never enjoy the Now. To never absorb the here and participate in the this.