Although I've said many times I never ever want to go into an LDS chapel again, sometimes I have to bite the bullet, and go. In this case, for the funeral of a close friend who lost a family member.

In the course of one 5 minute talk, the name of Joseph Smith was mentioned 7 times, Christ only parenthetically. In another talk, no Joseph Smith, but the Plan of Salvation so many times that I lost count.

After the first HOUR when I naturally began to get the nods, the stake president said something about having to be careful because the deceased was there at the funeral and didn't want him talking too long. That got my attention and curiosity.

Are their any doctrinal-type RfMers out there who know whether or not all of us get to go to our funerals, or only if we're TBMs? Just wondering...And, if only TBMs can attend their own funerals, do they need a dead bishop's interview and a Funeral Recommend?

As I want to be cremated wearing Levi's and a T-shirt, does that preclude my right to a visit?

The Boner.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/20/2015 09:21PM by byuboner.

Ahh.. another mormon leader making up shit. Or trying to be funny. Both, probably. No doctrine, that I know of.

The old handbook recommended against cremation when possible. I don't know about the new one. So, it's possible you'll be in deep doo-doo and they won't let you back past the pearly gates.. or the River Styx, or whatever it's called. Especially in Levi's.

Good thing we're not JW's... they don't believe in spirits. When you're dead, your dead, until Jehovah, maybe (if you've been the proper witness kiss-up) brings you back into existence. So, they certainly don't get to attend their own funerals.

No, some alive TBMs attend the funeral too. ;^)

They just appear dead.

Boner, my sister and I both spoke at our Mom's funeral held in her home ward.

Many there were shocked when 2 exmos in a row stood and spoke and then sat down without ever sayin indanauvjebuscristamen.

Sounds familiar. When my mom died last summer, three of the four of us (one is still TBM) got up and spoke about our mother. Not one mention of the Plan of Salvation. Not one of us said Amen after our talks. My sister even wore a sleeveless dress. As funerals go, it was nice. The only person who mentioned anything "churchy" was the Bishop who was conducting and my younger brother - and he kept it brief.

Who'd a thunk - a funeral with talks about the nice, deceased lady and not about how great the Church is. I'm sure BKP would not have approved.

The stake president made a weak attempt at humor? To save the mourners more suffering by an even longer and unnecessary talk.

Talking about Joe Smith that many times in 5 minutes underscores the pervasive mentality and mindset in that culture.

As for plan of salvation.. it's reassuring they believe that this TBM beloved is saved but if he hadn't been TBM, then what?

They would've resorted to more overkill of the profit Joe Smith.

Looking on the bright side of your ordeal: you got to share it here with us!

:D

Forget "Saturday's Warrior". When we die, we die with all and only the knowledge we gained in this life. So we do not have instant recollection of the pre-existence or of Jesus or of the war in Heaven. We do get to see our ancestors and those who died before if we can find them, but they don't know when we're going to die. So if you die a Baptist, you'll die with Baptist beliefs. If you're Japanese and a Shinto Believer, You'll be a Shinto Spirit believer. Hence the need for missionary work to still be done in the spirit world. The only surprise will be for us atheist who don't believe in life after death.

So yes, you'll probably hang around your family and try to comfort them for awhile, but like the scenes from "Our Town" you'll realize that you have things to do and they don't need you any more, plus you'll have to go find all those people you wronged and all those old high school friends and such.

It's not until the final resurrection and judgement that we'll get our memories back of the pre-existence and the whole plan of salvation; even in the spirit world it will be a work of faith.

According to my parents, who are questionable at best in what they consider doctrine, the departed does stick around until they see where they are buried, so they know where their body is. For the resurrection. Or something. My stepmom (hereafter called mom in posts cuz it's just a pain to keep putting the step on there) will go on at length about how she's clearly felt a spirit there until their grave dedication, then they disappear.

That's how I understand it.

I've had two experiences with the death of close people; my SIL and son.

First one-when SIL passed unexpectedly (she was 22). My FIL said he saw her at the funeral. He became quite emotional about.

Second-when my 16 year old son passed. I felt like he was in the house and around us until after the funeral. I could feel when he left the house and moved on to the other side.

Just two personal observations/experiences.

-Dennis

Meanwhile, neither of my parents nor my brother made themselves known after death.

Remember, funerals are for the benefit of the living, to help gain closure.

to Dennis Moore

I have also known people who claim that they have felt the presence of the deceased in the time up to and shortly after the funeral. These people are family and friends and seem to be somewhat sane....ha. Some of these people are not morms, and some of the "visitors" were also not morms.

Many months after my father died, my mother felt his presence in the temple at a grandchild's wedding.....never before and never since. My guess was that there was a USC football game that weekend, and he was dropping in at the temple on the way to the stadium.

All very odd. The only spirits I've ever felt has to do with vodka.

Had two cousins hit by cars and died, 6 and 7 years old. One stuck around for a while haunting the house, but moved on within a month. The other was gone but came once to visit his girlfriend in her room they played toys together for awhile, and was never seen again after that?

Earlier this year one of my older brothers who excommunicated from morg got rebaptized. The rumor from my TBM family and my brothers new bishop was that my deceased TBM mom was there? When I heard this my mind went huh!?? My TBM hardly ever visited this brother but does for his rebaptism into the morg!?? I wonder what all my TBM family and my brothers bishop was smoking that day!!??

Oh gawd. I've heard this kind of crap for years. A dead person was in the temple with them or at their wedding or their baby blessing or even at the dead person's own funeral. "I could feel them there." Yeah, whatever.

If it gives people some kind of comfort to tell themselves that, I guess there's no harm in it. But in reality, they're dead. If you believe their spirits go somewhere, they're gone. They're not hanging around for the funeral and they don't get celestial leave to come to your baptism. If you get peace from thinking about them and want to believe that peace comes because they're there with you, stay away from science/psychology texts and you'll be fine.

Spiritists believe everyone can and normally do attend their funerals.

Wouldn't you be interested in who is there and what they say?

Also, human bodies are totally disposable ------ no one is going to resurrect any of them. Spirits are so much more mobile and supportable.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/22/2015 10:03PM by spiritist.

I am nevermo, as are all my family. When my mother died, my son, who was 21 at the time and had been very close to his grandmother and loved her very much, cornered me at the "dinner" after the burial, and told me that my mother had "been inside him" during the funeral, had told him not to be afraid or to worry about her, that she was fine and on the other side. He said he didn't want to tell anybody else because he didn't think anybody would believe him. He was white and shaken, and I did believe him. I am atheist as regards GOTB (the god of the bible), but I do think there is something on "the other side." When my dad died, he was in a nursing home, and I had a visit from him the night BEFORE he died. I figured he was just doing a little out of body travel to make sure I knew that he was more than just his body. I don't know what else to say--those were our experiences, but I can certainly understand people who do not believe it was anything other than wishful thinking.

After a Mormon dies, he has to go through a worthiness interview to get his funeral recommend. Then he may attend.

I think they might admit that others also look in on their own funerals but with regret for not being Mormon in life, also with hope they'll be dead dunked and become official faithful Mormons soon.